Guilty SecretsWe were shocked - nay, disgusted - to read on an internet discussion forum of a chap's confession that his darkest, guiltiest secret was that he recently cracked one out over press photos of tragic MILF Kate McCann. He reasoned that "she's a good Catholic girl and looks dirty, so she'd probably go bareback".
What guilty secrets can you no longer keep to yourself?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 12:22)
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Santa ScamThis is terrible, and I hope that my Mum isn't a b3ta reader (I find it unlikely: she's offended by nearly everything). I've never told anyone this before.
I'd figured out the Santa thing by the time I was 6 or so. No malicious playground revelations, just me putting two and two together and coming up with a rather disappointing four. Christmas was always a massive event at our house, with thousands of dollars spent on presents. I was spoiled, no question. I never told my parents that I knew about Santa, because I didn't want to reduce my haul of gifts. I just continued to write the yearly missive, put out the treats, and pretend that everything was normal.
Not too bad, right? Well, here's the bad, highly manipulative part.
I exploited my knowledge when I was nine. I wrote a letter to "Santa", saying how I didn't want any presents that year, and instead to get something nice for my parents, because they deserved it more. (I feel dirty just typing that.) God, I was a manipulative little shit. But a highly effective manipulative little shit. I got reams of presents that year.
Children=devious and evil. I know that from personal experience.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 15:21, Reply)
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