Physics
Cosmologists have, for several years, been grappling with the problem of the universe's missing mass. My limited understanding of the situation is that, in a body such as this galaxy, there doesn't seem to be enough mass - and therefore not enough gravity - to hold it together.

The missing mass gets labelled "dark matter"; one hypothesis is that dark matter is made of subatomic Weakly Interacting Massive Particles - "WIMPS" for short.

I was contemplating this at the gym, and I think I have made a breakthrough that'll guarantee my immortality among cosmologists. The "missing" mass isn't missing. It was fighting to escape from the lycra of the creature on the treadmill in front of me.

And the missing matter isn't dark at all. It's pasty. In fact, such is its albedo, I think that I might also have stumbled upon the explanation of gamma-ray bursts as well.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 9:25, 7 replies)

Suitably geeky for me.
Where's all the Dark Energy then?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 9:32, closed)

Absolutely no idea.
Quite demanding, aren't you? Aren't two Nobel-worthy hypotheses in one short post enough for you?

Tshk.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 9:35, closed)

You generally engender high expectations.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 9:52, closed)

*Clicks*
Yes, I too have witnessed that wobbling mass in front of me wrapped in dark lycra.

Thankfully the machines in my gym have television screens to divert the eyes.

*bonus geek click*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Jul 2009, 9:35, closed)

geek lol
*click*
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 9:50, closed)

I won't get all scientific
about the albedo/gamma ray thing, but I will say you were mistaken. Those gamma ray bursts are probably just bouts of flatulence from the corpulent lycra-clad thing!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:46, closed)

Quite possibly just as deadly...
:)

(I wondered if someone'd pick me up on poor science...)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:22, closed)