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This is a question Gyms

Getting fit should come with a health warning, warns PJM. "In my pursuit of the body beautiful, I've broken three exercise bikes and two running machines, concussed myself and, most distressingly, bruised my testicles." And he's yet to try and get out of his contract...

(, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:45)
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Swimming... well, it's in the same building as the Gym!
Now, I'm bit of a fatty. One of those guys you see on the news with the "Obese" stamp in red letters across the front of them. Recently though I've decided to do my best to put an end to this distressing condition which irks me mostly not for the sly looks or the "whispered" comments, but because I'm tired of feeling unfit and crap about myself.

Anyhoo, as a part of this, I'm doing my damnedest to go swimming each morning before work. Started 4 weeks ago and now I do the maritime version of plodding my way through 60 lengths. It was hard work etc, but frankly it's the least I deserve, and the sense of accomplishment is warm, as you feel more and more fit :)

The other morning, I was doing the usual routine of getting changed, donning the visage of awkward self awareness and making my way out to the pool for my pre swim shower when I spied another young fellow - somewhat thinner than me, of course - giving me the "you're another one of those fat bastard scum aren't you?" smirk, which you may or may not have seen in action.

I ignore him and continue to the pool to start my swim. Obviously Captain Fantastic has to take the lane next to me, throwing me the odd glance as I swim along. He's going to show me how much fitter than me he is, I can see this now. 1 length goes by, 5, then 10 and 20. It was by the 30th length that I saw the first look of worry on his face... He might actually only just beat me! Still I carry on, safe in my now routine stroke (we don't hear the innocent version of that here very often do we?... anyhoo...).

By length 50 our friend was starting to shake, clearly far further than he has swum in a very long time, and at length 53, he stops and gets out of the pool - presumably so he can start to breathe out of his arse as his body complains and shakes. He stumbles his way back into the changing area, to get away from what just happened.

Long story short, he left the pool a broken man, beaten by a simple case of underestimation. The guy who he wanted to swim me into another of the humiliating defeats I've become somewhat used to in life actually had his arse handed back to him by his prey.

That was the first time I've felt good about what I can do in a long time :) It's definitely helped drag me out of bed in the mornings since, more determined than ever to feel good about myself some more - it's an addictive feeling.

First post etc, but this time it actually was the length(s) that mattered.
(, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 22:55, closed)
on ya. I bought a bike to get some form of exercise going. Tis a good feeling with you can go that bit harder, further etc. Although my bike was nicked and only got a new one last week, so kinda back at square one.

So yeah, i liked your story and i click accordingly.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 0:08, closed)
similar thing happened to me on holiday
despite my previously extremely large size, i love swimming and have always been quite strong. whenever i go on holiday, i spend each morning in the pool. that way, i can pretty much eat and drink what i want without putting weight on.
one day, some perma-tanned, medallion-wearing tosser saw me walking to the pool. i've got extremely good hearing, so i easily heard him sniggering to his mate that i was a fat bitch.
he dived into the pool, swam 3 lengths then got out, confident that his display of manly fitness would put me to shame.
now, i may have been swimming widths rather than lengths(kids piss in the shallow end. eeewww.), but i do 100 every morning of my holiday. by 10, he wasn't looking so smug. by 20, he was well pissed off. by 30, he was practically grinding his teeth. by 40, he stormed off into the hotel, his mate grinning at him.
i never had to speak a word. every width i swam said "don't underestimate me, fucker."
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 0:29, closed)
i hate to say this
But the nature of water, currents and all that means, piss in the shallow end will disperse throughout the whole pool, so makes little difference where you swim.

However good show. Shame you couldn't have done it all under water, that woudld have shown him!

(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 1:37, closed)
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 5:07, closed)
it's not just the piss
i can't see very well without my glasses and have a habit of swimming head first into the steps in the shallow end :(
(, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 1:51, closed)
Hell yeah!
I love this, it makes me feel all gooey inside. (The same as if I had done two lengths myself!)

I hope you win. Here's a click
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 9:37, closed)
good job
I've been a fat fucker for a while, mostly sorted it out now, but I'm still not built for running or any of that crap, so I swim too.
not only is it thoroughly enjoyable, but it's something that you can do well no matter your size.
I frequently see some toned gym-goers flailing around like spastics in the pool as I glide past without any splashing.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 11:24, closed)
I'm not exactly a toned-gym goer...
But I do go to the gym a fair bit (still a fatty though), and I am useless at swimming.. Small children have laughed at me!

I can be in peak rugby fitness, going to the gym three times a week and cycling to work, but only manage 4 ;laps
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 14:11, closed)
Skinny twat bitchslapped by fat guy. Bloody good for you and
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 11:29, closed)
Chubby people make good long distance swimmers. That guy who swam the entire length of the Amazon river had a gut the size of a beer keg. Maybe it helps with buoyancy or sth?
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 12:06, closed)

I think you're right - when I started diving i was a lardy fucker - needing 10kg of extra weight to sink, now I'm a few stone lighter and need only 5kg - so gut = bouyancy
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 12:46, closed)
Fat Floats
I remember when I was a skinny little kid - during swimming lessons I couldn't float, just sank like a stone. My best mate was the fattest kid in the class (back before our obesity 'epidemic' there were only a few fat kids in every school, remember?) and I was always jealous of watching her float with her toes sticking above the water. l knew it was something I could never do.
I'm much chunkier now, but I *still* can't float like that. That kinda sucks.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 14:45, closed)
Experience always wins
I used to be a county standard swimmer specialising in longer distances - I could swim at a good pace for well over an hour without getting tired. Every so often one of my friends decides to challenge me to a race. I bet them a pint I'll win, and I've had a lot of pints from it in the past.

I've got a 5k swimming badge tucked away somewhere and had I stayed at my old club a while longer, I would probably have ended up as part of a team swimming the channel. I half regret that I didn't get the chance to do that.

Thing is, I haven't trained in years and I'm fitter now than I was then. I used to be able to swim for miles non-stop but get out of breath walking down the street...
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 21:30, closed)
There's no way I could do 60 freaking laps!
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 23:51, closed)
Good for you! *click*
(I wish I could get motivated to do some (any!) exercise).
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 12:07, closed)

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