Epic Gym Fail
First post! woot!

This is still one of the most embarrassing things ever to happen to me. Strangely enough, it doesn't involve the loss of bodily functions or drunken twattery.

So, a few years ago I decided to join a gym. Now, I'm quite tall but skinny. Lanky, if you will. The idea was I would try to bulk up a little to stop looking like the 10 stone weakling I clearly was. I've since got bigger using the beer method.

I met with the trainer, who had muscles in places where I don't even have places and started the work out. Being surrounded by blokes casually lifting more than their own bodyweight I thought I'd better make an effort and really push myself. So I did. And all was going according to plan,until after an hour or so when the increasingly knackered Atomised got to the last obstacle: The bench press.

He gave me a quick demo on the free weights and then I lay down to have a go myself. I thought I'd better not exert myself with too much weight whilst I was still learning the technique, but even so, when I lowered the bar onto my chest, that was it. My arms gave way and and I couldn't lift the bar back up again.

The trainer and a couple of other muscle bound freaks saw me squirming under bar and ambled over to pluck it off me, the mirth dancing in their eyes.

But why is this such an epic fail? Surely there is no dishonour in failing such a herculean task?

Because, my fellow b3tans, there were no weights.
I failed to lift the bar.

Oh, the shame.

Length? about 5 foot of shiny steel...
(Atomised teabagged your mum on, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 16:56, 13 replies)

Hahahaha!
I didn't think anyone ever managed to fail at lifting the bar!

I feel for you, I probably would've laughed at you, too (try not to take it too personally!).

*Click
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:06, closed)

Oh My
That is shockingly awful but clickage for admitting it.
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:11, closed)

and i
was going to diss the trainer for letting u train without a spotter but well erm...anyway, nice work.
(Discreditor wants the dream to come true, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:22, closed)

Bleedin 'ell...
very funny though, mate - gets my click.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:26, closed)

This post...
...has truly 'raised the bar' in the standard of posts this week.

Fuck, I'm sorry. Kill me. Kill me now.
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:42, closed)

Lmao
You must've been well and truly knackered for that to happen :>
( thyrf as in turf, but not, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 17:47, closed)

Ever since I first saw someone bench press weights...
..I knew this had to have happened to someone.

Well done sir, click for legendariness(ness).
(SimianKid internet faffer, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 19:21, closed)

Interesting you choose to admit it
I'm left wondering how though... had you previously been doing pressups or something along those lines? I've never known anyone (even girls) fail to lift just the bar when fresh, but with enough exercising the same muscles beforehand it can happen.
(LittleKitty, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 2:47, closed)

They aren't light
Depending on the size those bars can weigh up to 20kg with nothing on them. Does that make you feel better?
(Rilux might be pregnant and has bum-aids, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 6:34, closed)

*
v good
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:24, closed)

Aw shucks...
thanks for the nice comments :)

yes, the bar was quite hefty and I had spent the last hour lifting far too much than was good for me in an attempt not to show myself up. Ironically, that's exactly what happened...By the time i got to the bench press I basically had no strength left in my arms and they just waved a little white flag and gave in.

Still, I fought through the shame barrier and kept going to the same gym for another 18 months until I moved house. It never happened again!
(Atomised teabagged your mum on, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:17, closed)

rilux beat me to it
a standard "olympic" benchpress bar will be 20kg. if you spent time doing chest exercises beforehand, esp those that will work the center of the pecs, or anything concerning your triceps, and you've never done a proper weights session before, then it's not surprising you found the bar a bit much :)
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:49, closed)

Haha, aww.
You deserve to win for that.
(almightyjoey is most likely listening to Electric Wizard on, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 16:46, closed)