HecklesForget the drunk bloke at the back yelling incoherent nonsense. Sometimes a well placed heckle can raise a mediocre act to a brilliant night out.
Tell us your best heckles and, if you are brave, the retorts that put you back in your place like the maggot you are.
(
chthonic, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:13)
« Go Back
Brian BlessedSo, all great stories feature the Blessed one, and this is no exception.
My fat, hairy, oft sweaty best mate from Uni was a typical Doncaster/Irvine (it's in Scotland you fucks) type, having grown up in both. His Grandad was just Northern. So much so, that during Peter Pan, when Brian Blessed arrived on stage in full Hook regalia, said Northerner pensioner stood up in the stalls and shouted "Boo! Hiss! You'll get your comeuppance!" Not so funny, except this wasn't a pantomime, but a faithful reworking of JM Barrie's dark tale of childhood fantasy and fear.
Blessed corpsed. Spectacularly. After 2 minutes, still convulsing with laughter, he managed to swish his cutlass in the direction of the offender and just about compose himself. Textbook.
2. Can't remember where or who, but someone once stood up, with a bullhorn/megaphone and pressed the siren, which lasted about 2 seconds, followed by "YOU ARE SHIT. GET OFF THE STAGE." He was. He did.
3. Andy Zaltzman at Joe's Student Comedy Club in Birmingham. Supported by John Oliver who was funny, Andy was on next. A part of his act was to request heckles. Silence, until from the eponymous Fat Bloke at the Back comes "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU CUNT!" Zaltzman faultered, totally lost any credibility and died. Minutes later, the fire alarms went off. He legged it. John Oliver did 2 hours impromptu and brought the house down.
(, Sat 8 Apr 2006, 20:19, Reply)
« Go Back