Edinburgh Festival. Phil Davey
pr... He was an Aussie stand-up, highly recommended by The Sun. Dunno why...

I'd been drinking somewhat. He wasn't being particularly funny, and then he started ranting about Animal Hospital being shite (I agree. But that's not hilarious stuff) and then about Rolf Harris, and what had he ever done for Australia, the miserable fucker.

I piped up "He won gold for Australia in swimming at the 1962 olympics"*.

[This was ~1999ish. Operation Yewtree was 12 years away, and yet 30 years too late]

He replied "Fuck off, mate, no way". And then some other people in the audience started murmuring and backing me up.

This really put him off his stride. After about 20 seconds of silence, he then turned on me.

What are you doing here in Edinburgh mate?

"I'm a student".

What are you studying?

"Pharmacology"

Silence...

Presumably there wasn't any comedy mileage in that. So he went off onto some scatalogical comedy shite, which was funnier.

* Actually, Google informs that Rolf was the Australian junior backstroke swimming champion. And an alleged paedo.
( drunkenoaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:12, 3 replies)

Tasty

( Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 9:46, 2 replies)

Look, it's a baked potato.

( Zuowan, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 9:06, 3 replies)

This here's a story about Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 9:03, 1 reply)

I think a leader will emerge

(maggied Riding the Gravy Train on, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 8:08, 3 replies)

( Zuowan, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 7:55, Reply)

ok, i'm just going to assume i've been made mod
until i get my mod powers, can you just make sure you do what i say, ta
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 23:01, 9 replies)

Here you all are...
...casting aspersions left right and centre like mouldy birdseed, with nary a thought for the fact that something grave and distressing might have happened in the lives of our mods. Have ye no shame? WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF KNOB FARTBONE THE MODS?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 22:04, Reply)

Haven't any of you lot got /board to go to?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 23 Jun 2014, 21:19, 4 replies)

Have we no Captain?
Who is at the helm?? This is all a bit worrying.
(maggied Riding the Gravy Train on, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 20:54, 6 replies)

i just stuck two fingers up a dog's bum

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 19:35, 7 replies)

ANYONE WHO POSTS LOADS OF PICTURES WILL NOT BE NAUGHTY STEPPED

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 19:07, Reply)

( Zuowan, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 18:38, 1 reply)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 18:25, 1 reply)

Ignored off stage...
Many moons ago at the Edinburgh festival at one memorable "late and live" which ever act was on died so badly no-one could be bothered to heckle. Poor bastard ended up walking off stage as the audience just carried on talking and drinking.

Seem to remember the compere was Fred MacAulay who had to come back on and do his standard set to recover the show.... (I'd already seen it earlier on in the week so it wasn't even a bonus)
(PrinceBuster When I'm around you're second best Cincinnati kid, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 17:33, 3 replies)

I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but there's nothing for it. Only Guinea Pigs can save us now.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:32, 2 replies)

Can a mod
be a mod for a week?
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 14:57, 3 replies)

can the doveston be mod for a week?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 14:46, 1 reply)

can i be mod for a week?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 14:44, 1 reply)

You know, there's nothing to stop us simply starting a new QOTW subject
How about: Moments when you realised that you'd just made a HUGE fuck-up.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 13:29, 3 replies)

Someone has definitely died.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 11:58, 8 replies)

This is what happens
when Ingerlaaaand lose.

Everyone suffers whether we care or not.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Maybe we are witnessing the fallout from a boardroom schism
A power play leaving the mighty leviathan b3ta rudderless and adrift on the uncharted waters of the internet blah blah de blah. Etc.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 1:46, 3 replies)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 22 Jun 2014, 21:57, 4 replies)

cheer up! at least scaryduck is dead

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 22 Jun 2014, 17:17, Reply)

Are there no windows in this place?
(maggied Riding the Gravy Train on, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 16:39, 2 replies)

still time for a one more I see
NSFW: goes without saying seeing as it's Frankie Boyle


Click for video clip

this one's worse
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 16:20, Reply)

Mr Andrew Peters

(Andrew Avetoom, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 15:06, 5 replies)

Help!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQYO86GCViM
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 14:53, Reply)

Arrested

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 12:52, 1 reply)