My holiday story.
I was walking along the beach in 1983 - and despite the fact that I was two years old, I was twenty seven. My marriage had recently failed, as had my wifes heart after I spiked her cornflakes with MDMA powder. So there I am, walking along the beach, when I notice a small man in a tuxedo running from the sea. He was perfectly dry, and was smoking one of those pink cigarettes that have gold wrapping over the filter. He ran over to me, and handed me a small envelope, before running back into the sea.

I opened the envelope to find inside a map written in braille, with intructions underneath on how to find treasure. Luckily, the year before, I had regained my sight after years of blindness - so I had no problem decyphering his gift. The intructions told me to find a palm tree, so I flew to Hawaii. I found the tree, and began digging in the spot that the map commanded me to. After digging for what seemed like days, I found a small locked wooden box. I carried on reading the instructions, and was surprised to discover that the box could only be opened by the voice of a sturdy man.

My quest for a sturdy man took me to a small town in Wales - and he duly opened the box for me (with his surprisingly squeaky voice).

Inside the box was a small skeleton. Perhaps of a mouse.

I was very disappointed.
( Leningrad, Tue 26 Apr 2005, 17:04, closed)