A Repost: Kaol and the tale of the Mouse Omlette
When I was a student, I was living with a fellow student called "Mike", in the heart of Nazi Surrey.
Now, Mike was a scummy bastard, there's no other way to describe it.

He took two showers that I'm aware of the whole year I was living with him.
He never seemed to wash his clothes.
He managed to get our house invaded by ants, which came through the door, up the stairs, past my room and into his.
His bedroom smelt foul. Fouler than a Musk Ox's ring-piece.

All of those things, however, I could deal with.

What I couldn't deal with was him stealing my food.
I was scraping money the whole time I was at uni, to the point that some weeks I'd be eating cous-cous and tinned tomatoes and not much else.
His parents were paying for everything for him, including a hundred pounds a week "going out" money...
So why the fuck did he have to keep stealing my food?

His worst habit was stealing left-overs. If I made a chilli, I'd make fucking loads of it, freeze it and then leave a portion to defrost in the fridge for the next day.
About half of the time my meal would "mysteriously vanish".
It was just the two of us in the house, and he'd deny it.

So one day I decided to get my own back.

I made two wonderful cheese, mushroom and bacon omelettes, ate one, and put the other into the fridge.

The next day it was gone.

What he'll never know is the glowing sense of satisfaction that he'd eaten an omelette made of dead baby mice.

You see, I had a snake. This snake ate baby mice, so I had a box in the freezer full of them.
Mouselings don't have any fur, so they're pink and look a lot like foetuses.

I took a large handful, removed and discarded the heads, chopped up the bodies into cubes and shallow-fried them.

So that's the story of how my dirty, thieving housemate ate dead mice.
( Cawl, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 9:20, 7 replies)

Jesus Christ!!!
Nice!!! Have a click!!!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 9:30, closed)

Pure evil
Your housemate I mean. That was fantastic. Have a click for vengeance (as we all know it's a dish best refrigerated), and a click for the delightfully evocative ¨musk ox's ringpiece¨ as well.
( Scrumper, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 10:12, closed)

Ooh, what snake did you have?

( Bats, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:22, closed)

Just a Corn.
Didn't get on very well with it.
Give me lizards any day now.
( Cawl, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:44, closed)

Loved it the first time...
Gets better with age.

unlike me :(

Edit: Forgot to click!

*clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:38, closed)

You
should have told him.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 28 Feb 2009, 15:05, closed)

*click*
Ingenious, although I hope you chucked the frying pan afterwards.
(postmistress, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 17:11, closed)