Drug abuse
Second year at Uni, shared a house in Bristol. Bloke on my floor was this Welsh mate, skinny and pale but a right laugh and also a professional pisshead. Penniless, too, mind, as were we all.

This guy (I know he's in IT, so I won't name him) did like his "substances". So occasionally we'd come back to find him in some state of derangement from attempting to smoke anything from tea bags (too smoky, no high) to banana skins (massive headache) or sniffing WD-40, etc etc. But this was mainly borne from desperation and being skint.

One day, I'd managed to score a decent lump of dope and refused to share it with him (I had the g/f coming over and had mucky plans). Because I'm not a smoker, I decided to make hash brownies, instead. So I took this lump (almost a full ounce) and broke it up; made some delicious chocolate brownies and put them in the oven. Then I walked down to the local store to get munchies, booze and so on.

When I got back to the house, I noticed a familiar-looking car in the street. Uh-oh, thought I - that looks like the parents' car. Wafting from the kitchen window was a delicious smell of baking. In I went, to find a giggling Welshman on the stairs who then fucked off at high speed.

When I got into the kitchen I found out why. The little cnut had fed ALL the FUCKING brownies to my FUCKING parents. Every FUCKING crumb. They were slumped either side of the kitchen table, giggling helplessly at one another. My dad then said - "ooh - what's that? Food? Yum!" And fell over. To more giggles.

Obviously I couldn't let them drive back, so I had to cancel the planned night of shagging and hash brownies and let them sleep in my room, while I slept in the FUCKING bath. To be woken at 3am by the FUCKING Welshman giggling as he poked his scrawny little cock in my ear. Cnut.

The next day my somewhat subdued parents breakfasted and left, with nothing said about the previous day. At all, ever. It's one of those things that we never talk about.
(lustfish, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 20:12, Reply)