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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Holland Park
A few years back (well more than a few) I attended Holland Park School. It was early afternoon so about 2pm, the sun was shining and the sky was blue. On the horizon we noticed an old man dressed entirely in black (tracksuit) who appeared to have his hands down his trousers. As he got closer i could see that he was clearly playing with himself. Now my friend being very naive didn't pick up on what was going on, so as he came closer i tried to step out of his way. Noticing i had made a deliberate attempt to move this guy approached my friend. At this point (whilst he was still furiously beating away) i overheard the faint whisper of, "The white stuffs coming". At this point my friend (for some odd reason) assumed he was talking about clouds in the sky and looked upwards, it was at this point i burst out into laughter. I'll also remind people who are not versed in the geography of Holland Park that this was on a path often referred to by the school kids as Batty mans alley.

Okay perhps the story wasn't about me being on the sex offenders register, but he was. And yes i can't really tell stories very well :)
(, Fri 18 Aug 2006, 14:56, closed)

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