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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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After one too many beers
I made my first trip to the toilets in this reasonably modern city pub. On approaching the two doors I noticed there were no 'male' or 'female' signs but rather the sex symbols in 1960s style painting. After some serious thinking I came to the conclusion that the circle with arrow pointing up the way was my port of call.

As I entered I was already in the process of preparing myself to urinate only to be met with three women at the sinks staring at me as my hand was on my crotch. Now, the situation could easily have been fixed if I was sober and able to explain but instead I froze, partially mumbled "sex symbol" before quickly heading towards the door only for it to swing open and hit me leaving me bent over with my fly still open. Of course the newly entering females looked in horror at me before I exited to the sounds of laughing and one large scream of "PEEERRRVEEERT".

The next day I learned the signs were actually the wrong way round. If the person who painted them wasn't an idiot I could have had a nice piss and gone back to my beer in peace.
(, Wed 23 Aug 2006, 18:15, Reply)

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