Sacreligious ball-bashing
A few years ago at my school, we played a game known as 'David'. It consisted of approaching your unsuspecting victim, whacking them hard in the balls and shouting, as loud as you could, 'david'

14 year-old boys are stupid like that.

It originated when a tall, strapping, rugby-player of a lad known as Robbie Genn went up to not so small, not so strapping bloke called David Hughes on the bus, whacked him in the bollocks, and shouted, for obvious reasons, 'David'.

So for about four months after that (we abandoned the game then, for our children's sake), no boy in the school had safe love-spuds.

Enter me and my friend Chris, in maths when our teacher had lst the room to go and get something, or whatever it is teachers do when they leave the room. Our maths room doubles-up as an RE room, and hence there were a pile of hefty bibles right behind Chris.

Spotting the chance for a David that would go down in legend, He picked one up, walked over to me, shouted the terrifying word, and gave me an impoosibly clean smack to the scrot with one of the most verbose books ever written.

I doubled up, obviously, and then uttered (when I say uttered, what I mean is wheezed) the immortal words, 'How could such a holy book have comitted such an unholy act'.

I then staggered off to the nearest toilet and was copiously sick, and since our maths teacher is about as aware of wordly goings-on as a dead badger, Chris naturally got off scott-free.

I was just proud to have been a part of the best ever David.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Sat 15 Jul 2006, 22:31, Reply)