My previous girlfriends mother
was a schizophrenic alchoholic mentalist.

When she used to come and stay with us, she would go out into the garden to have full blown conversations with herself, laughing away like there was no tomorrow. i used to watch her through the window, almost pissing myself with glee.

Anyway, I was going to the chinese to collect meals for my girlfriend, her mother, myself, my mate and his wife. it is a fourty mile round trip to the chinese, and after some severe driving on the way back, my mates chinese had tipped open onto the floor of the car (where the dog usually sits).

I gave my mate the mother in laws meal, and scooped up his meal off the floor and put it back into the container, along with the dog hair, dirt and all the other shite that collects on the floor of a car. the mother in law could have that.

She complained a bit when she didn't recieve the beef curry she expected, but accepted that "they must have fucked up my order in the chinese".

I struggled to contain my guffaws watching her eat her meal along with all the extras - i could see the dog hair on her plate, it's from a golden labrador for fucks sake - but she thoroughly enjoyed it. She then went into the garden to have a conversation with herself, no doubt about how nice it was.

I did make the mistake of telling my ex what I did, she wasn't best impressed, but she, as it turned out was a psycho hell bitch anyway, but that's a story for another time.
( 4dam party, Fri 9 Sep 2005, 14:25, closed)