Old next door neighbours
Were decidedly of the chav.

Both in their 50s, he had only one lung, she suffered from emphasyma. The resulting racket, combined with creaking of what was presumably a rickety bed sounded like someone gargling raw eggs while being accompanied by a intermittent football rattle.

Being short of oxygen though, such couplings were mercifully short.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:22, Reply)

'Nuther
Is there time to tell the involuntary-voyeur-pissing-family story before the question closes?

Actually, I might keep that for a future question... over to the suggestions page, then!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:18, Reply)

We had
a couple upstairs from us... every Sunday morning it was grunt! groan! squeal!

This went on for weeks. One day I get fed up, stuck my head out of the window and shouted "Will you please shut her the fuck up and stick it in her gob!"

We never heard them shagging again.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:15, Reply)

what's the betting....
that the new qotw doesn't appear till tomorrow?

edit: wooo!! vipros takes the half century!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:13, Reply)

happylittletulip
Some friends of mine used to give their flatmate and his other half ice-skaters' marks (5.8, 5.9, 4.7, 5.9...) the morning after based on the quality of the grunts and screams.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:13, Reply)

not long now....
and we hit 50 pages.


Give yourselves a hearty pat on whichever body part you feel will benefit most.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:12, Reply)

I have a married 'friend'.
I would backstroke open-mouthed through a sea of piss to suck his wife's miscarried fetus off his cock.

Is that an insult or a compliment?
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:11, Reply)

Since I started it...
There was the being walked in on by Ms Enzyme's brother in her 'rents' livingroom - I'd heard the front door opening, she hadn't, and I couldn't arrange anything dignified by the time he blundered in...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:11, Reply)

is there a word for forced voyeurism?
because the ever-multiplying chav drug-dealing dole-scrounging family who used to live across the road from us would regularly force the entire street to eavesdrop on their raucous sweaty animal grunts and groans as they humped and writhed and screamed through every single Sunday morning as everyone else was doing respectable things like washing cars and diy.

it was like listening to feeding time at the seal enclosure only the participants were less attractive and not as clean.

so thanks for reminding me.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:11, Reply)

Reminds me
Of the time I was entertaining ex-Mrs PJM on the sofa. Our cat was so fed up with sitting by the front door waiting to be let out that he jumped up and opened the door himself, giving the whole street a nice view of my pasty white arse.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:08, Reply)

Ancrenne
That's so wierd! - It reminds me of a repressed memory of a time when a few mates and I found ourselves drunkenly wandering around a park late at night and we came across (steady there, Enzyme) some forty-something bloke stood in the middle of a bridge with his grots round his ankles, violently cracking one off into the stream below, his face contorted and his jester's shoes fully curled up.

I thought I'd successfully erased that from my memory....cheers for that
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:04, Reply)

weeeeellllllll!
There was that one time at an ex's girlfriends house getting jiggy with it in the living room - and I dont mean the missionary position while forgetting that the window was not covered by curtains or nets.

And it was a posh area.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:03, Reply)

Ancrenne
DIY voyeur conjurs up a picture of a boy with a carboard tube and a pack of tissues.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:00, Reply)

Voyeurism
stories about how you were unwittingly a voyeur, or were be-voyeured (?) by others. Got a couple of stories like that. Let's hijack the QOTW. It needs it.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:55, Reply)

Eh!
How can it be voyeurism with no piccies.

whats the word for reading in - instead of watching in.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:52, Reply)

Lovely stuff!
b3ta voyeurism...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:51, Reply)

For a moment there
I thought that this was a genuine announcement of a new QOTW on voyeurism. Bah.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:51, Reply)

suddenly
i feel as though i'm intruding just by reading!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:47, Reply)

...
certainly had my member upstanding a few times...


fnarr fnarr grrr etc
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:43, Reply)

Thats it!
My reputation as an UPSTANDING MEMBER of this board has been trashed.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:41, Reply)

Calm down, petal...
It's not like I'm gonna mention the sex-texts or anything...



oops
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:39, Reply)

Pooflake!
Dont you dare tell them what we discuss!

Oh the shame!
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:37, Reply)

she
normally prefers big up herself, I believe...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:37, Reply)

BGB - gone public
...You normally leave the 'steady on, pooflake, you're not all that' messages for private chat, kitten.

I feel all exposed and nasty

(copyright shrek 3)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:35, Reply)

Pooflake
Dont big yourself up too much mate!
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:33, Reply)

you beat me to the punchline!!

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:32, Reply)

..and concentrated on the front...
That's my DP!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:32, Reply)

Bogged down advance...
Or if you're at a tactical stalemate and failing to get on the scoresheet you could break the deadlock by swapping ends...?

Sorry, I really ought to get back to work now. Someone prod me when this godforsaken QOTW changes.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:30, Reply)

sorry mate,
I left her behind...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:29, Reply)

DP, Do you still have her number?
If she'll lower her standards a bit I could be in there....
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:28, Reply)