I spied on someone...Freddie Woo says: "I was staying at a youth hostel in Europe and realised you could spy on the female dorm by looking through the keyhole in the adjoining door. So I knelt down, put my eye up to the hole... and saw an eye staring back at me. And I was the one they called a pervert." Tell us your tale of spying shenanigans.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:23)
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I'm an IT Manager. So I have control over all the mail servers and internal comms in our company. I was asked by a Director to remove a couple of emails accidentally sent to two members of staff, before they returned to work the following day. This I duly did. However while there I discovered that these two people spend most of the day bitching about pretty much everyone in the company (including their boss), usually while being extremely friendly to their face - often they are typing these vicious emails to each other WHILE having the conversation with their 'target'. Horribly two-faced. What gets on my tits is all the stuff they say about me though. I'm now addicted to it and getting myself more and more wound up every day. I can't reveal I've seen their mail because it makes me look unprofessional. But I've opened Pandora's box and now hate going to work. Serves me right I guess!
Although they have broken the two Golden Rules of the office - (1) Don't use work email for personal communications, and (2) Don't piss off the IT Manager.
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:54, 25 replies)
danishbackon's story reminds me…I worked in IT when I lived in Abu Dhabi at the turn of the millennium. My mentor was a one man IT department, a friendly Egyptian fellow and I was being trained up as his assistant. The company I was employed by was quite large, so for some reason EtiSalat (the UAE's version of BT) allowed us to sort out our own internet filters for some reason - meaning you could access pretty much any website you wanted from work.
Anyway, I was flat sharing with two guys much older than me, both married with their wives still in England. They also both worked for the same company as me (it was a company flat, see). One day at work one of them - John - called my boss up asking for some computer related thingy to get sorted out from the workstation in his personal office. Several hours later my boss does that "auto-connect link thing" where you remotely take over someone's workstation to troubleshoot. Only, as soon as he's connected, we see his screen, and he's looking at animal grot on the internet - a woman sucking off a horse of all things. At work! So my boss instantly unconnected, extremely embarrassed, and nothing else was ever said about it.
Except… being curious, and having access to the relevant technology, I remotely looked though his internet history later on that evening. Apart from several animal porn sites, the majority of sites he had frequented at work were of the ilk "are you worried you have AIDS?"
Finding out your flatmate watches animal porn at work and has been keeping the local prostitutes in business COULD have made for quite an awkward time flat-sharing, but luckily we hardly ever saw each other…
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:46, 2 replies)
A friend of mine had a flatmate who was a bit paranoidThis guy Derek actually owned the flat and let out two of the bedrooms, so technically he was the landlord too. So my friend, who I'll call Stuart, as that's his name, came back from T In The Park a bit weary and shellshocked. It was therefore a bit much to find that Derek had installed cameras in the flat, one in the lobby and one outside the flat door. All a bit Howard Hughes, and not the kind of thing you want to see when on a massive comedown.
Stuart was not to be deterred though, and made a plan. Once he'd recovered, and when Derek was out working, he climbed out of his window, inched his way across the balcony and got into Derek's bedroom (his door always being locked, of course). There he saw that the cameras were hooked up to Derek's computer, recording all day (for his review?).
So he called up a few of us. Then he sat at computer, paused the recording, and we got into position in the lobby. He re-started recording for a few seconds while we danced like total spazzes, paused it, then recorded it with no-one there, paused it so we could appear out of nowhere doing more spazz dancing... and repeat, and repeat. For about half an hour.
Next day Derek asked him to move out. Not a word was said about the videos.
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:05, 6 replies)
Spying on your own familyNot me, but my new boss. He's American: the most Republican, gun-owning, good ol' boy you can imagine. The first time he came to Europe I took him out to dinner and tried to make non-work related conversation in order to get to know him. He'd just moved house so we were talking houses and gardens, and told me that he had a lovely little play house in the garden which was a miniature replica of his own house. How sweet, I thought. Then he said, "But I haven't put the CCTV in there yet."
"Oh", I said, "are you worried about burglars in the play house?"
"No, no", he replied, "I just like to know what my family are up to. I have cameras in all the rooms of the house. I can access them via the internet so I can see what my wife and children are up to any time of the day or night while I'm at work or travelling."
After that I found that I could not discuss politics, climate change, health care, gun ownership and a host of other topics with him, as they exposed the massive gaps between our points of view. And this is my boss, so I have to at least get on with him. So now we only discuss work.
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 9:00, 18 replies)
l33t haxx0ring sk1llz (10% l33t, 90% imitation l33t made from reformed turkey)A few years back when I lived in student digs, we occasionally got letters from our ISP saying our connection had been throttled because someone had gotten a virus on their PC and was connecting to half the email servers in West Africa. Each time this happened everyone ran their antivirus etc., we filled out a form and sent it back to the ISP saying it had been sorted out. After the 3rd letter it became clear someone was either guilty of serial nuggetry or just too incompetent to use an antivirus. Wireshark and a couple of other network snooping tools were downloaded and I set about identifying the infected PC flooding our connection so Mr Geoffrey Kwaze-MacBongdalds and co. could keep sending out their cheap cialis offers and emails from Nigerian bank officials.
It didn't take long to find whose computer was responsible, and the owner was appropriately chastened. Explanations were given as to how to use antivirus software and common sense tips on how to avoid her PC getting shafted like this again.
I found giving advice on avoiding ropey, insecure websites a little bit hard to do with a straight face. As having been snooping on the houses network traffic I'd seen bits and pieces of everyones internet usage and didn't really want to say outright that she ought to stop looking at dodgy websites involving black men putting their willies inside each other as these probably weren't just full of the gay, but also plenty of viruses.
Although I did rip hell out of the "indie music is my life" guy living with us as soon as I found out he was reading websites along the lines of how-to-have-controversial-opinions.com.
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 0:16, 27 replies)
I once saw Alexei Sayle in the northbound car park of Keele Services on the M6.It was 2009. He was deep in conversation with a posh looking middle aged woman, who may have been his handler.
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brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 21:31,
6 replies)
I was chatting some bird up yeah and then this guy who had a thing about her came barging in like he owned the placeI hid round the corner and watched them for a bit but then when I showed myself he quoted some Poe and shot me.
Star Wars.
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 19:00,
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Well, I am off for a few weeks. I hope to spy on lots of things while I am away but not in a creepy way.(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 18:10,
4 replies)
Accidental voyeurAfter helping out with a play at a local theatre, I needed to return some equipment. So I went along to see the next production, and in the interval asked where I could find the director. "He's through there," I was told, and pointed at a door.
Now the play being performed this week was set in a girls's school. When I opened the door, I found that it led directly into the backstage area where about 30 teenage girls were changing into their school uniforms ready for the second half.
In your fantasies, that might sound like the start of a classic Sexy Schoolgirls porn scene, one for the long-term wank bank. You can imagine me in a smoking jacket, with a pencil moustache and monacle, carrying a bottle of champers and two glasses. "Me, the girls of St Trinians, and three dozen shots of Rohypnol? What WERE they thinking???"
In reality, I kept my head down and my eyes firmly fixed on the floor as I hurried through to the next room. I still clearly remember the pattern on the carpet.
Coward.
(, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 11:53, 6 replies)
The accidental spyor stalker, I guess. It was a pleasant calm day at the seaside the other week, the winds were only forcing us to walk at 45 degree angles to make slow forward progress and the spray of the sea was getting battered over the seawall to sprinkle salty snowflake-a-likes into the red-cheeked faces of those stupid enough to be out doing some post Christmas shopping. That would be me and some visiting relatives then.
We took a detour into an arcade to cut through to the main shopping area and I held the door open for a man getting blown in the same direction. He had a moustache, a stupid hat and zero fucking manners. He half turned when I mumbled "ignorant cunt" a bit too loudly when he failed to say thanks for holding the door open and then carried on his way. From then on it seemed everywhere we were going he was too, just a few steps ahead, and I think he noticed as he kept giving furtive glances behind him. We even popped into McDonalds and there he was coming out of the toilets as I went in. In one shop we passed on escalators going in opposite directions and I swear he did a comedy double-take.
As we headed home along the less blustery but now pissing it down promenade I spotted him again a good block ahead of us. Not wishing to put the shits up the old fella again I bundled my cohorts into the nearest newsagents/cheap tat shops to give him time to reach minimum safe distance. Can you guess who was in there buying The Sun and some baccy? I gave out some kind of maniacal short shriek of laughter followed by giggles that wouldn't stop as hat guy fled in terror, now condemned to a lifetime of checking over his shoulder for the deranged seaside stalker woman.
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Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:32,
19 replies)
Rear windowThis one time that fit bird in the flat opposite left her curtains open all afternoon and I saw she had a lady friend round. At first it was all cups of tea and gossip but all of a sudden the bird donned a pair of rubber gloves. Rubber gloves! Her friend was just sat there on the couch with her legs open.
It's not often you get to see someone do the washing-up while their friend watches telly. Phwoar!
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 5 Jan 2014, 20:49,
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Wanked myself almost to death.On a family holiday when I was about 15 we went to some tourist-full beach resort. I soon discovered that the the changing rooms at the swiming pool had louvres on them meaning one could see out of them but not in to them.
I was 15, the women were topless, I wanked!
I've not seen the like to this day and keep meaning to work out where it was so I can go back and wank myself to death as an old codger.
(, Sat 4 Jan 2014, 19:06, 10 replies)
more or less relevantQOTW - Overheard Secrets 25/08/2011
Few good laughs in there re police frequences, old cordless phones, etc...
(, Fri 3 Jan 2014, 23:32, 15 replies)
When my ex-girlfriend was 18,she went on a holiday to Majorca with her boyfriend at the time. The couple staying in the apartment next door to theirs were rather frisky, and fucked noisily several times a day. The Ex was something of a voyeur, and all this turned her on no end, and so she ended up alternating between pushing her ear to the wall and flicking herself off while they fucked, and grabbing her boyfriend and having him scuttle her violently from behind while they listened to the neighbours make the beast with two backs.
After about a week of this she went onto the balcony and saw that the couple next door were about the same age as her grandparents, and did a bit of sick in her mouth.
(, Fri 3 Jan 2014, 16:49, 24 replies)
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