Survival of the thickest - I didn't get the job
As a group exercise we were presented with a hypothetical scenario where our ship had sunk and we were adrift in a liferaft on the ocean. We'd probably only be able to grab six to ten items and had to prioritise which we'd take from a list of fifty, and why.

The scenario clearly stated that the ship had sent a distress signal and search teams were looking for us. The bad news being that if we hadn't been rescued by the time it got dark, we probably wouldn't survive the night.

So I scan the list for anything we can use to attract attention. Torch - yes, good. Mirror, aha, we can reflect sunlight and blind the rescue plane pilot. Flare gun - perfect.

But no. The team rejected the flare gun.

I protested: "But it's sole purpose is to tell people where you are - it's designed to get you rescued!"

"Yeah, but you can only use it once."

"How many times do you want to get rescued?"


So what did they want to take instead?

-Biscuits.
Now I'm a greedy bastard, but I reckon even I can last a few hours without food (days if it comes to it, though I wouldn't like it).

-Salt tablets.
Fucking salt tablets! We're surrounded by millions of gallons of salt water and they think we'll need fucking salt tablets! "Oh shit, I haven't had any salt for three hours! Quick, pass me a salt tablet before my spleen asplodes!" Fucking retards.

Committees don't work. You need a dictator.

/notbitter
( Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Sat 22 Jan 2005, 18:55, Reply)