To my daughter
Just in case something awful happens to me, I'd like you to know that I really did try to do things right for you when you were a baby.

I broke up with your mother before you were born, because she was a violent, abusive, suspicious, paranoid mental case. She acquired the password to my mobile records and would secretly ring them daily to hear a call summary. She locked me out of my own flat (along with my indoor cat) in freezing weather so I had to kick my own door in to get in. She went for me with a knife once, and punched me in the face when I was DJing because I was chewing gum, which suggested to her that I was planning on kissing some made-up woman in the venue.

She covertly took an copy of my doorkey and, when I'd broken up with her, sneaked into my house, went through my shredder and pieced together a phone bill to check up on me. When you were born she wouldn't let my mother see you when you were in intensive care, when she'd spent two hours travelling up to see you. Then she forbade me to see you - I didn't see you after the day you were born until you were four months old.

To achieve this I had to take your mother to court. It cost me and my family over £6000 we didn't have just so I could see you for 1.5h a week, which went up to 3h. Given her way it would have been 1.5h every fortnight. Your mother (who used to smoke crack and was a famous drug fiend, who hadn't done a day's work in three years before you were born) claimed to the court that I couldn't be trusted around you - despite the fact that I ran a £1.5 million turnover business and never missed an appointment to see you.

You will never read this letter - and I shall never tell you anything about all this because I want you to love your mother and think she's great, not be disappointed and disillusioned to discover that the woman who raised you is an evil, spiteful, manipulative cunt who did everything in her power to prevent you spending time with a father who adores you, just to have her twisted revenge.

Lots of love

Your father Monty.

PS hope you like the jumper.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:24, 17 replies)

Aw dude!
You're human after all!

Hope it works out, man!

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:26, closed)

I still hold true my promise to give her a damn good kicking if you want

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:29, closed)

First becky gets me choking up with the dog story and now this.
Any more and I'll blub all over my desk like a great big shirter.

Logically it would obviously be unreasonable for me to judge the situation having only heard one side of it, but with all that I've heard about it - and especially having met you - I can't help but come down entirely on your side and think that your daughter would be so much better off in your care, not least because her mother comes across as an unreasonable mentalist bitch of the highest order.

Oh dear, sorry, I'm getting all serious and sentimental now. I'm going to have to post something crass and immature.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:39, closed)

When the word 'cunt' is used well
Fuck me it can sound good.

Clicks from me.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:45, closed)

Concurrence

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 21:15, closed)

You rock Monty
I reckon your daughter will too if you have any influence in her upbringing.

(Granted, you can't rock completely, you fucked the drug fuelled mentalist, but lets not split hairs).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:48, closed)

so
tell us about the jumper then?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:54, closed)

Sounds like a fucking psycho
I would take up that kind souls offer, sounds like it might knock some sense into her
( RossThePiper Stretch Armstrong is my Father, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 18:16, closed)

Yeah, kick the shit out of the main carer
that sorts it out every time. VOTE TALIBAN FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 19:37, closed)

Don't buy a jumper for your daughter.
Ever : )
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 18:49, closed)

My mother knits them for her.
:(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 22:56, closed)

I just hugged my kids and told them of Uncle Monty.
And I am not a shirter - I have something in my eye, OK?
(Tugnut I got them all..., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 19:55, closed)

A familiar story
Too many people are in the same situation you are Monty. Some of them are my friends.

You're a good father by doing what you're doing - putting your kid first. You're right...a kid should love his mother or father.

You're one of the good guys.
(Audax Victor, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 20:16, closed)

you and yer family
did the right thing i reckons, not knowing the true situation. be proud
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 22:00, closed)

aw you rock...unfortunatley there are too many psycho breeders out there...
(how did I make it past childhood, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 23:11, closed)

Coincidentally enough
I was at Family Court today.

I'm going to see my 2-year-old for the first time in 16 weeks tomorrow. Unless his mum's changed her mind again by then (probable).

Sigh.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 0:19, closed)

With
the huge abuses of the system that (some? most?) mothers seem to delight in, is it not time that the onus of power shifted away from them to say, the father?
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 14:44, closed)

Mothers aren't the problem...
...it's the system that needs reworking. I know more than a few mothers who go through the same stuff as the (more commonly) non resident fathers.

The system is to blame because it gives one parent (the one with the child...usually the mother because she is often the `primary carer') all the power and none to the other. Like I say - in cases where the father is the primary carer/resident parent they often play the same stunt.

Children have two parents and the best way to diffuse the nasty power play you get during splits is to ensure a balance of power. This country has a presumption that the child has one resident and one no resident parent. In countries where there is a presumption of shared care...guess what? Short court cases and parents working together in their child's best interests.

I'm 9 court hearings, 3 years down and 300 miles from where I started when my son was taken without warning and it's not finished yet. :-(
(Audax Victor, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 21:19, closed)

Sorry
"covertly took an copy of my doorkey"
I read as "overtly took an copy of my donkey"
and collapsed in a sniggering fit on the train. Sorry.
(IL&M, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 16:46, closed)

Ooh, didn't see this.
Nicely put. It's all we can do to give the kid the freedom of choice in who she sees. I know it probably scares the shit out of you that she'll turn out like her mother but rest assured that if you're always there for her she'll do just fine.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 10:10, closed)