That one time it made the papers
So having lived in the more 'vibrant' parts of Salford, Hull and Leeds here is a story from my small southern hometown.

My best friend growing up lived a few doors down from a family. You know the ones; Mum, Dad and Kids all together in one continuous row. Speed garage blasting from a uninsured cavalier, half the local cops are on a first name basis, etc.

I found this out when I asked him why there was always a police car outside his house. He pointed to a house and said " that's ******'s house". The youngest of the family was our age and would come into school with tales of dysfunction, often prompted by by mate. " what was that banging last night?" "Oh, (older brother) came back from the pub shitfaced and decided to jump off the roof".

My first firsthand encounter with this was also my last. Having only heard stories, and seen the remains of a shed demolished by bricks thrown from three gardens away when a water balloon fight turned rough. visiting my friend's place a frantic bellowing came from outside, we dashed out to see the eldest son and the father having a blazing row.

About what we couldn't tell as the screaming had transcended English, and the belligerent parties had been forced to continue by throwing furniture at each other. Son hurled a TV at his dad, dad dodged and countered with a boombox. Promoting son to smash the dads car windscreen in with a scooter. That was a shade to far, the dad pulled out his phone and called the police. "You cant call the fucking cops, I have to get rid of my fucking drugs first you cunt" screamed the eldest son who proceeded to pull out a joint and light up.

Unfortunately before the calming effects of a nice bifta could take force the police showed up. Having appeared on the scene in a record breaking response time, I can only assume that they would of been heading to the house anyway as a matter of routine. Rather than put out his joint the son decided to get an officer in a headlock while continuing to inhale the evidence. In the end it took two police to bring him down and drag him into the back of the panda car.

What makes this stand out as a truly exceptional case of resisting arrest was what happened next. While both policemen were taking statements the panda car roared into life. While handcuffed in the back seat he had managed to wriggle into the driving seat and hotwire the police car. The resulting high speed chase over five miles of countryside ended up in a ditch and a five year prison term.

His younger brother brought a copy of the local paper to school and would proudly show it to anyone for months afterwards.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 27 Sep 2016, 20:15, 2 replies)

It's not their fault
Blame the lack of impulse control
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 28 Sep 2016, 17:52, closed)

ADHD or some shit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 28 Sep 2016, 17:56, closed)