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This is a question Look! It's me in the Local Paper

Most local papers will print any old rubbish. Far, far too many years ago I got into the Windsor, Slough and Eton Express after winning a fancy-dressed-bicycle competition. What they neglected to mention was that I was the only entrant.

What sad stuff have you been in your local rag for doing? Scan stuff in and show us if you can.

(, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 10:15)
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Shit haircut and great dog...


That’s me in the local rag (circa 1970) holding my dog Honey – she won first prize in a dog show at a local council run fete in Buckinghamshire. I recall the other mutts there were a bit too excitable to win – I think Honey being in heat may have had something to do with that. As my younger sister pointed out to me “Those dogs with the red lipsticks were very naughty weren’t they?”
The local town councilor presenting the prize was all smiles for the press, but afterwards he told me “Now fuck off back to London where you come from”. A bit taken aback I told him I wasn’t from London. “Bet your dad is then, you little shit” he replied. (My dad later told me that the councilor had a beef with Londoners moving into “his” town and clogging up the waiting list for council houses.)
I was so traumatized by this event that I emigrated to Australia when I was 27 and have never again entered a dog show.

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s a shit haircut...I had a crew cut the next summer.
(, Fri 11 Feb 2005, 2:58, closed)

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