Girlfriends drive you crazy
I was 16, it was 2am, and my abusive, evil, selfish, crazy (not an exageration - her grip on reality was very weak) girlfriend had had me on the phone telling me what a horrible person I was, that I didn't deserve to live or exist, that everything I believed was wrong, that I was worthless, etc, etc ... for a good 6? 8? 10 hours? And this was the third or fourth night in a row of it, I'd be up till very late listening to this, go to school and hear more of it from her, (except when she was telling me how much she loved me and needed me) then come home and repeat the pattern... the only reason why I can give you is, of course, I thought I loved her.

I was losing my sense of self, I had tried in the beginning to comfort her, in the middle to discuss things with her, and by the end just to agree with her so I could get free, but she wouldn't stop, she just kept pushing and pushing trying to break me completely...

And it was working, I was truly losing my grip on what was real, on who I really was versus what she was telling me I was.

But apparently when I lose myself completely - I have a back-up self. As I started to fade into nothingness, a strong voice that was definitely *not me* came out of my mouth and said "Hasn't he had enough?" into the phone, and then hung up the phone.

Guardian Angel? My dead grandfather watching over me? Passing spirit that couldn't believe this girl and possessed me for a minute?

Or small psychotic break?

[shrug] Whatever.

Somehow, the fact that someone cared enough about me to do it (... even if it was maybe a fractured bit of my own self...) was a great comfort to me, and I got through it. The sleep I got the rest of the night helped too.

Since then I've always found the voices in my head a source of great strength and comfort, I'm very grateful for them - it's something special to always have those you can count on, right there with you.
I'm very loved =)
( Allisade would love to hear from you, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 20:07, 5 replies)

Sweet *click*!
( Vambo, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 20:53, closed)

Is that you wade wilson?
*clicks*
(Dante licked your nipple on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:48, closed)

oh dear sweet shitting jesus.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 13:09, closed)

..?
Jesus shits sweets ?

Damn, that guy is awesome...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 15:05, closed)

That guy WAS awesome.
He died and got put in a cave, remember.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 22 Jul 2011, 22:49, closed)