Chavs and pikeys.
It's hard to find words which adequately describe the euphoric feeling I have when I'm reminded how I escaped from daily exposure to the UK's chav culture.

People in Britain like to mock North America because it has trailer trash and rednecks, conveniently turning the shitlight away from their own all too prevalent scum.
But Britain is full of people like that, an overbreeding underclass is crawling around almost everywhere. Even the middle-England Daily Mail loving Cotswold villages I grew up in now have gangs of chavs with over-muscled dogs on strings lurking outside the mini-mart.
I was back in the UK for a visit last year and I'd been in the country less than 2 hours before I witnessed two track-suited greasy twats from a feral pack punch another guy at a bus stop for "pushing me wiv your bag you cunt". He was walking by, they stood in his way and blocked the path, he couldn't even go around as there were barriers on the path and he brushed them with a huge backpack he was wearing.

In contrast the "people of Wal-Mart" are a blessing.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 18:12, 21 replies)

Ahhh... pikeys....
as good a reason as any NOT to marry your sister.
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 19:07, closed)

You're saying your sister is a pikey?

(McChinaman banned, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 19:59, closed)

I want to know how he knows I married my sister.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 20:21, closed)

Or cousin

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 21:45, closed)

lolz

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 22:59, closed)

Not sure I agree with you on this one.
Every time I go home, I never see all this chav violence everyone is always going on about. The most annoying thing they seem to do is litter and play crap tinny music on their phones on the bus. But, here in Americaland, I can see crack dealers outside my kitchen window, and there are scary nutters everywhere who have a habit of shouting at everyone on the street. It's probably the same in both countries depending on where you are. In other words, West Dorset is a nice place, and South Florida is a shit hole.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 19:22, closed)

West DOrset is lovely, charming and remote.
So remote that if zee Germans had invaded, nobody would ave noticed.
Mind you, they might have, thus explaining the lack of chavs, that are probably rounded up in a camp deep in the woods making leather baseball caps out of the skin of the previous generation of Chav's, to lure the next generation of Chav's.

I should suggest this to the BNP, or to the Tories in a couple of months, if they keep going down the slippery road of populism.
(smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 19:39, closed)

I suspect a Nazi inavasion might have been noticed, due to the massive build up of troops there
seeing as the best part of the allied invasion of Normandy left from Portland. The whole of West Dorset was crawling with American troops.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 20:10, closed)

But when they left to land in France and invoade the fatherland? Who was left?
Bert and his dog?
Then the following scenario could have happened:

"Aha! Nobody expects zee suprize German invazion!"

"Ach! Zee moutached one vill be pleased!"

"Where is zee enemy? Let's go asks in zis local beer serving establishment."

Cue - Entire German raiding party goes "inspecting" local pubs.

Wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines etc.

Cue - Zee germans slowly stumble from zaid establishments sometime after the crossing of zee Rhine and before Diana gets whacked.

"Lets go to zee Glastonbury and intern zee Chavs!"

Etc
(smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 21:32, closed)

The problem you have here
is that neither the British, not the Americans, behave like a homogenous mass, being instead this difficult to categorise thing called "humanity". I'd imagine that this really annoys lazy journalists (from any point on the political spectrum).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 19:40, closed)

You're right of course
wait, are you calling me a homo?
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 20:13, closed)

East side/ West side.
which bit is Portland in? I forgets.

Don't remember many chav types on Portland, I think the locals scare them off.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 20:19, closed)

It's sort of in the middle.
It gets South West local telly, while Dorchester, a few miles to the east, gets Meridian region, so I'm calling Portland west, although, Weymouth and Portland are the chavviest town of the region.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 20:24, closed)

I love that part of tbe coast, used to go there a lot.
Living 600 miles from the coast isn't quite as good. I have to say.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 20:29, closed)

Do you live 600 miles out in the atlantic ?

(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 21:42, closed)

I might as well do. Or the Pacific in my case as that's nearer.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 22:57, closed)

It's not that much farther than that to the Arctic

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 4 Oct 2013, 5:08, closed)

:-(

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 4 Oct 2013, 12:33, closed)

almost everywhere everywhere shit
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 22:15, closed)

That's what I said.
Do keep up at the back, yes you boy.
Jenkins, STOP SNIGGERING.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 3 Oct 2013, 22:56, closed)

I live on a rough council estate and I never see any of this sort of unpleasantness.
The worst street confrontation I've witnessed lately was when two young fathers brushed buggy-wheels on the pavement while trying to avoid the potholes, and each laughingly accused the other of being a shit driver.

Then again, being working class myself, I am not afraid of pikeys/chavs/the *underclass*. Any cheek and they'd get an earful.

Three local *pikeys* moved my elderly mother in law's property to her new sheltered housing complex this morning. I've never seen men work so hard, while still taking care of an old lady's precious possessions. Everything moved safely from one town to another, furniture placed where I wanted it, nothing broken, two trips, all done in four hours, with not a cross word or even a mild swear. Can't see three chartered accountants managing that!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 4 Oct 2013, 14:06, closed)