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This is a question Lurid Work Stories

"I know a railwayman of 40-odd years' service," says Juan Quar, "and he tells me a new gruesome yarn each time we meet. Last week's was of checking the time on the wristwatch of a severed arm he'd just collected after a track fatality."

Tell us the horrible stories you tease the new hires with, or that you've been told.
NB By definition, these are probably all made up. Roll with it

(, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 17:33)
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I once had a shit while havng a shower. Instantly regretting it, I tried to squish the turds down the drain with my foot but all they did was clog it and soon the shitty broth was overflowing onto the bathmat. I'm sorry, what were we talking about again?

(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:29, 7 replies)
How very Gilbert and George.

(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:47, closed)
Ooh, hark at Mr Culture, here!

(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:49, closed)
Oh, oh! More lambrini with your vole-o-vents, monster munch?

(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:19, closed)
Try the mouse-akka

(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:46, closed)
Totes having canapes here.

(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:51, closed)
Ambassador, with your Shower O' Shite, you are really spoiling us.

(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:55, closed)

p ri
(, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:56, closed)

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