I'm very normal, thankyou.
I have a few that no-one will really care about.

1. DJ Yoda and DJ Greenpeace's autographs. The first says "To Tommy, you stink" and the second says "To Thom, you are a knob."
I did ask for this to be done, before you start thinking I'm a stinky knob.

A black and white photograph of myself, my nextdoor neighbour and Blue Peter's Mark Curry, dressed in Victorian garb (except Mark) from when I advertised a Musuem as a child.
(Tommy B!, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 16:01, Reply)

The King Dome - Seattle Washington
I lived in USA/Seattle when they blew up THE KING DOME (the former largest concrete dome in the world) and was only 9 blocks away when the explosives popped.
The tidal wave of debris that swept over me means Ive still got concrete dust in my lungs as a result. Maybe i could extract it and put it on ebay.
( biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:57, Reply)

Robin Galloway
my mum absolutely loathes a guy called robin galloway, a grampian tv and radio guy from about ten years ago. he was the cheerful, smarmy golden boy of crappy local entertainment. she really really really couldn't stand him. so for her fortieth birthday, her best friend went to the local radio station, requested and was granted a meeting with the man himself, explained my mother's deep hatred for him and asked for a personalised, signed photo, framed. for the last decade, my mum has been the proud owner of a signed photo of a man she would gladly kill with her bare hands. but we won't let her throw it out, her reaction when you pull it out of the drawer is too good.
(fubar, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:55, Reply)

Fake snow...
...from the set of the 1st Harry Potter film at Durham Cathedral.

Paid a visit one lunchtime while I was going to college in Durham. Would have stolen something more worthwile but security was pretty tight, so grabbed a handful and ran.
(webdw, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:47, Reply)

You know you're getting old
when you're too slow to post your reply to the latest question of the week
(born sleepy, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:44, Reply)

My friends mum
Has one of Ken Dodds feather dusters
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:31, Reply)

Tommy Cooper
I used to work with a guy who was studying part-time to be a mortician.

He had a beautifully mounted lock of Tommy Cooper's hair - culled from his cold, dead body by my morbid co-worker during the autopsy as a memento of the great man..

*shudders*
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:15, Reply)

A signature
from the almighty Jeremy Beadle! (signed wit his good hand unfortunatley). I also have various drumsticks and guitar picks from bands that you've never heard of.
(nutsgeezer, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:13, Reply)

I've got
... a script from 'Call My Bluff'.

It is the version given to the panel e.g. it doesn't have the words or meanings in. Only Bob Holness' script had those in.
(cheesepump, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 15:01, Reply)

bottle of coke
I have a bottle of coke that went out of date november 1998. Its not blackish brown anymore- its red and has a glow when light is shone throught it. Im gonna drink it on my deathbed.*


*that said i will prob die from drinking it in the first place.
(istoleapig, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:59, Reply)

Weather Wall
i have one third of a once magnificent collection of signed photos of weather people.

It was something we did at uni - we collected well over 40 signed pictures in the end and displayed them on the wall round a map of britain.

We were in the local newspaper about it - a double page spread in the 'lifestyle' section which ended with the quote "we also like Kevin Owen, becasue he has great eyebrows"!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:51, Reply)

Queen Rock (not Queen Rocks)
I used to attend the Queen Fan Club Conventions. The first one I ever attended (the actual 4th I think) was around 1988/89 held at Camber Sands on the south coast and I still have the stick of rock that all attendees were given in their goodie bag. Have to admit it's a bit shrivelled now. Come to think of it I've collected quite a few sticks now.
( Father_Ted Drink!, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:49, Reply)

Don't know why I'm telling you this
I have a signed picture of Bonnie Langford, a baby Emu from Emu's cornish Walkabout, A picture of me on the set of a quiz called 'Screen Test' shaking hands with Michael Rod but the best is actually my dad's: A Royal Standard my Great Uncle Ted stole off George VI's coach.

I come from a family of strange collectors.
(Brian Cheese, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:40, Reply)

The Top Rated Racehorse of 2000 was called
Dubai Millennuim, and he went to stud at £100,000 a pop. I sent away for the glossy stallion brochure complete with CD Rom and DVD of all his wins, set in a lavish book promoting him as a stallion. Each page has a quote from various racing folk and a big shiny photo on the opposite page, Sheik Mohammad spared no expense. The back page has all the details of how to get in contact to see if your filthy minx of a mare is good enough to have him give her a right good bit of rumpty.

He then decided to die, after a few months at stud, and whilst you can get all sorts on Dubai Millennium on Ebay, I have never seen one of these huge Stallion Brochures yet

Ps his son "Dubawi" is favourite already for 2005 Derby
( Bling Blong Bling Blong, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:36, Reply)

Innocent days of long ago.
I have an autograph of an obscure presenter for the early eighties. Probably only known to people in the strathclyde area of scotland. It is of a bloke called Glen Michael, who presented a show called Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavilcade. Was on at about lunchtime on a sunday. To a young boy he was a demi-god with his cartoons and side kick, rusty the dog. Now he just seem's like a dirty old kiddie fiddler.

Ah the innocence of youth, I felt so proud sooking on his "special" lollipop. Always thought it was strange keeping one in your pants though!

Sorry for crapness, but just had to pop my board virginity somehow.
(Billy Sastard, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:30, Reply)

When checking on my first cars...
MOT I discovered it had run out a month before naturally annoyed at my stupidity I locked and slammed the car door then noticed my keys on the passanger seat. Locked out I took vengence on the car with a screwdriver to the lock Finally breaking in and retrieving my keys(local kids completely uninterested, must be used to seeing car brake-ins...). The lock that I ripped out of the car door now sits on my mantle piece and the car rots at the scrap yard.
(The TPOL, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:29, Reply)

I
Work frequently abroad in Asia and the Middle East and am often found scouring the back street markets and souq's hunting out rare and bizarre items that have been hastily and crafilty put together to exploit unsuspecting tourists.

I have in a previous collection a Twin towers lighter that erupts a flame when you press Bin Laden's head. ( bad taste,yes but so very B3ta!!)
( Andytomaz wazzing my way, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:23, Reply)

ahem....
a left hand marigold glove mould
16 (originally 21) artificial legs
a victorian sewing basket made from a hollowed out armadillo
an electro-shock therapy unit
a signed leslie crowther pic from the 60's
(spankywerx, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:14, Reply)

two seats
From the Royal Opera house. My wife used to work there...
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:03, Reply)

bono's autograph...
... along with the whole of clannad. they signed a promocard for the release of "in a Lifetime" (about 20 years ago).

an australian exchange student gave it to me (sam atkinson, if you read this, i still think of you!). wonder what it's worth... tough i'll never sell it.
( bierbelly, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 14:01, Reply)

Obscure memorarararabilia
- A human hip bone found outside of a convicted serial Killer's House. This guy was bringing hookers home, killing them, performing acts of necrophilia and then he would just toss the bodies on the floor of the house. He did this for years and years, until he got caught. About a year or two later, I was jogging in the area and looked down to see a strange white rock rolling along with me, being pushed by a strong November Wind. I pocketed it, forgot about it. Then I did . . .ummm...I mean, DATED a geologist and I was showing him my rock collection. He took the rock to his lab for study. The result? A human female hipbone. Found in front of a serial killer's house. I had a pagan friend of mine bless it and say a prayer over it before I put it back into my rock collection. Do I need professional help, do ya think?
(Igneous, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:57, Reply)

9/11 in-flight magazines
Mr Safetyfox works for a company that puts all the free stuff on planes.

At about midday on Sept 11 2001 they had an urgent call from BA asking them to take off all the September issue of the in-flight magazine and pulp them. The reason being that there was a double-page ad for Cunard showing the pre-9/11 NY skyline, with a couple on the deck of a cruise ship looking at it.

The strapline says 'New York might have changed, but the best way to get there hasn't.'

Mr S made sure he grabbed a copy. We can't decide whether to Ebay it or not.
( Safetyfox, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:37, Reply)

Uncle Dave
I've got a signed 'Crimewatch' script from 1994. I was at a recording, met Nick, Jill etc, but the real excitement came when I met Dave.

Dave was the proper copper who did the petty crimes bit. "Picasso print stolen, can you help?" It was the comical relief part of the show.

Anyway, he took us to the green room, laughed heartily when we complained about the potato salad being cold, then proceded to get 5 fourteen year olds pissed on Becks. He then signed the script and told us Jill 'legs' Dando didn't give it up for anyone.

Becks is the beer of champions. I learnt this from Uncle Dave the copper.
( The Lurker Plenty One, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:37, Reply)

Oy, Pandaemonium
Tell the nice people where you got the skull...

I tried to give it to a Catholic Priest to bury it. But he told me that he wouldn't unless I paid in advance for a full funeral service. Looks like choirboys aren't the only thing being fiddled in the Catholic Church.
(Light, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:34, Reply)

I've got piles
of memorabilia.

Most of it is sport-related - a 1981 signed Liverpool football (when we were decent), and a whole lot of Grand National stuff, most of it signed by famous horse racing folk.

My dad has a lock of Red Rum's hair and some of its turd in a matchbox. I question the re-sale value of that particular item.
(Ian Maiden, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:33, Reply)

Printing Plate Phun
I own an old metal printing plate from where my dad used to work. Ah, but no one but me notices it reads "SCREW YOu". Ah, good old Dad.
(ZooLurker is an angry chick with a mullet!, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:33, Reply)

Binlid covered in Sausage Meat
I have a binlid at home that was once covered in sausage meat by V/VM and Jansky Noise at a recent gig in Liverpool (I live in Ipswich, it was quite a trip).
I had a pirate fight (lots of "ARRR!s") with Jansky Noise after he had thrown raw sausages into the audience, and I was using the binlid as a shield.
(CatsAgainstTheBomb, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:25, Reply)

.
I have a bass-pick as used by the quite attractive, Paz, from A Perfect Circle.

Slightly less obscure would be the set lists from Monster Magnet (from the tour promoting their 'Powertrip' album) and Bloodhound Gang (from thetour promoting 'Hooray For Boobies'), and an autographed photo of Freddie Mercury.

Actually, that last one isn't all that obscure. It's pretty damn cool :-D
(minister of heresy, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:17, Reply)

and before i forget
my idiot father had a tape recording off the radio of that led zepplin bbc gig they released a few years ago after it'd been missing for thirty years.

He had it in the loft nd had been wondering what to do with it.

idiot idiot idiot.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:16, Reply)

ooh, this one i can do
dad and i have a competition with this one. Together we have:

Nick Ross' Crimewatch pen circa 1990 (nicked)
Jonathon Ross' hazelnut coffee (given)
Northern Exposure's Marilyn's Mum's handmade bullwhip (bought, really) (tenuous too)
Kevin McKidd's plastic cup (nicked)
Max Headroom's photo (nicked from dressing room in 1980-something)
Habitat price sticker once attached to Peter Gabriel's arm (politely removed)
Anthony Head's shoeprint (on wrapping paper)
Tom Baker's pen (nicked, and around here somewhere)
THE DURACELL DINOSAUR
(remember that? they tried to replace the bunny, sales plummetted, my dad blew it up on stage)

There are more, but i can't remember them. I'm winning, by the way.

ps. we're not famous, just competitive in strange ways
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 5 Nov 2004, 13:10, Reply)