Fake email address
It's a bit of a classic scam but this was back in 2001 or something. A friend at work was leaving to go travelling. We knew that he was doted on by this fat, boring frump of a girl who no-one liked, mostly cos she was a tiresome, unfunny drip. And fat. And boring. Anyway, the guy left the company and headed to the far east. A friend and I decided that it would be fun to create a Hotmail address for him and to start sending round-robin emails to people in the company (including us) telling us all about his adventures. I knew a few people who'd been travelling so I was able to colour the stories in with little details that would cause the reader not to question what was happening. In the meantime, we decided to send emails from this guy to the drippy fatso telling her that he fancied her all along, but he was afraid to say anything because me and my mate would have taken the piss. This went down well. She came over to my desk and told me all about the email. At first I thought she'd busted me but she'd fallen for it hook line and sinker. So this guy, we'll call him "Rob" carried on emailing us with news of his adventures. In another episode "Rob" emailed us telling us that he was going to swim to an island where he'd heard about a beach party, but that there was a typhoon whipping up. My friend and I decided that Rob wouldn't email for a while in order to convince people that he'd drowned. But lo and behold, he popped up again in Australia where he was filmed on the set of Neighbours. Again, entirely fabricated but "Rob" told everyone to watch out for the episode when Toady and Flick go to the beach and to look out for him in the background holding a surfboard. Lies, lies, lies. And finally, we enrolled him in a cult in New Zealand. We felt it was going a bit silly at this point so stopped with the round robins. The individual emails to drippy fatso also dried up over a period of time because she'd just whinge about having a boyfriend but that she was sure something could be worked out. It was pathetic. I don't think we actually came clean until years later. Her reaction was a thinly veiled mask saying "you're pathetic" whereas I think she was actually crushed. Did I feel bad about it? A little. Would I do it again. Fuck yeah. As for the guy who went travelling, the present that we gave him on his return was the email address and its password so he could log on and see what sort of fun we'd been having in his name. He thought it was fucking brilliant. Job done.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 11:43, 5 replies)

What's the opposite of 'Click'?
Have one of those.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 13:34, closed)

Wall
of text.

Paragraphs, man, paragraphs.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 13:36, closed)

This
is like a novel wrapped in a binbag, slathered with month-old lard and stuffed inside the carcass of a cow. There's a story in there, somewhere, but I'm damned if I'm going to look for it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 13:43, closed)

Sorry about that.
Stream of conciousness writing, I'm afraid. Should have gone back and shoved in some breaks. Then I realised that I couldn't be arsed to read it again. I'm a great advocate for my own work.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 14:30, closed)

Don't make fun of fatties
remember who your audience is
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 14:30, closed)