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This is a question Messing with people's heads

Theophilous Thunderwulf says: What have you done to fuck with people? Was it a long, carefully planned piece of psychological warfare, or do you favour quick, off-the-cuff comments that confuse the terminally gullible? Have you been dicked with, and only realised many years later? Are you being dicked right now? Tell us everything.

(, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 11:25)
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Dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick. How many dicks is that? A lot.
In the weeks leading up to the most recent election day, I began receiving phone calls attempting to solicit my vote for various candidates running for local offices. Inevitably, these phone calls seemed to be most common when I was trying to cook or eat dinner. Rather than be annoyed, I decided I would entertain myself at the expense of the next person who called, and I was not disappointed. While I don't recall the candidate's surname, his given name was the unfortunately phallic shorthand for Richard and the conversation went something like this:

“Good evening sir, I'm calling on behalf of Dick Whatshisname, and we'd like to know if we can count on your vote in this upcoming election.”

(Me, pretending to be hard of hearing) “You're calling for Dick?”

“Yes sir, I'm calling to see if we can count on your vote for Dick Whatshisname.”

“Dick?”

“Yes, sir. Dick.”

“Well, I don't really know much about Dick. Do you know a lot about Dick?”

“Yes, he stands for things our community needs.”

“So, Dick is a stand-up guy?”

“Yes sir, I believe he is.”

“You seem to know an awful lot about Dick.”

“Yes, I've been volunteering for Dick's campaign for several months now.”

“So you'll work for Dick? You'll work hard for Dick?”

“Yes, I think he's a candidate worth fighting for.”

“So you like Dick?”

“I think Dick is great!”

At this point I just hung up the phone – I couldn't hold in the laughter anymore, and my wife was laughing loud enough in the background that I could hear through the phone.
(, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 20:50, 1 reply)
I hope they had
a firm grip on Dick's policies.
(, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 23:59, closed)

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