My mother's just about alive and she said, "Do you want the citrus fruit? Because I gotta fuckload of it."
I said, "I don't want no citrus fruit, it makes my hair go funny!" She said, "Are you a serial killer?" I said, "No! I'm not a fuckin' serial killer!" I said, "I ain't no serial killer. I killed a bunch of people but they were one-offs, there was no series." "How many people you kill?" she say. I say, "I don't know, 210? 215? I lost count! I don't like countin'!" She said, "Where did you put the bodies?" I said, "I just let them go - released 'em into the wild."

So one guy that I killed came up to my house the next day, he said "What the fuck?" I said, "Quit whinin'! Back in my day we didn't whine, we didn't get nothin' from whinin'."

I went back down to the System office and I said, "Why are they all whinin'? Every fucker's whinin' out here. What's goin' on with the systems?" and he says "Hey, I don't know nothin'!" I said, "You know somethin'! You gotta know somethin'!" and he said, "No, I don't know nothin'!" I said "How'd you get this job?" and he said, "I was born into it!" I says "When were you born?" and he says, "About 25 minutes ago." I says "OK! I'm gonna give you to the count of fifty-four! And I want you to learn somethin'!" So I counted to fifty-four, all the numbers were there, one two three four five six seven eight nine, all the way to fifty-four. And by fifty-four I said, "You motherfucker! You better have motherfuckin' learnt somethin', dicksucker!" and he said "I have." He looked in the dictionary, and looked up a word. I can't remember what the word was, but I said "Good!" He said, "Have you ever killed anyone?" I said "Shut up! I don't need your accusations around here, I gotta lot of things to do, I got Jeopardy to watch and I gotta go to my job!"

My job's quite an interesting job, not quite as interesting as his job because he's part of the System. No, my job's part of the Corporation. I went to the boss of my Corporation, I said "Hey boss! What gives?" and he said "I dunno! I don't know nothin'!" I said, "Oh, not this again. Not this again!" I started countin', and by god, by fifty-four he knew somethin', and he said "I know loads of stuff. Ask me anythin'," and I forgot was I was gonna ask him, but I certainly did ask him somethin'.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 14 Jan 2012, 0:31, 4 replies)

Nice to see Hunter S Thompson in QOTW.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 14 Jan 2012, 1:02, closed)

I thought
It sounded more like Bob Dylan.
( MatJ LOOK, Sat 14 Jan 2012, 5:02, closed)

I was thinking the books question had taken over and the was an edit of Ulysses

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 14 Jan 2012, 7:22, closed)

Ulysses was never meant to be read with a Brooklyn accent.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 14 Jan 2012, 23:28, closed)