Don't mess with an engineer unless you want to wake up with a waste hose in your bunk...
My manager was something of a dick (unnecessarily loud conversations over speakerphone, read his emails aloud for no reason, put me in hospital twice, etc.) so when he followed the office trend and bought a subscription to popular the MMORPG, EVE Online, I figured that having had 2 years head-start on him, now was time for some anonymous revenge.

I set up a new account, and two new characters (one on my old account, one on the new) and got a friend to do the same. Red Tomak and Black Tomak (yes, the cyclepath joke) along with my mate's chars would track him down, and destroy him once he got into anything Battlecruiser sized or larger.

We waited for about 6 months, I endured his many stories of how clever he was transporting frozen plant seeds 30 jumps away for 5 ISK profit a unit (like paying Eddie Stobart 1p per 10 miles), and constantly telling us in the office where he was based.

One night, we decided it was time. We kitted out our little frigates, found him and we blew him up. The next day, he told the office where he'd moved to, and that night, we found him and we blew him up... and so on for a week.

Various ransom demands were sent for trivial items (1000 cases of spiced wine and 250 exotic dancers) which he refused to pay "on principle". So the next day, he told the office where he was now based, and that night, we found him and we blew him up. His battle reports got more and exaggerated, and one time he told us that he'd won and beaten us - when he hadn't - not knowing that it was us all along.

So, the next day he thought he was clever, and undocked in a battlecruiser. We made short work of that, and then, swearing and cursing in local chat enough to make a seasoned docker blush - we podded him, he woke up in the station again, and undocked in front of us in his biggest hardiest battleship.

We blew that up too. but while his shields, armour, and hull swiftly depleated, my friend and I came to a realisation on Teamspeak. There was no way he'd had time to update his clone. If we podded him now, surely he'd lose about 6 months worth of skill points. We dragged him away from the station. We blew up his ship. We podded him. He went into expletive overload. I swear I could hear his screams from my home, 20 miles away. The next day he confirmed our suspicions. He'd lost millions of ISK of ship and kit, along with millions of skill points. He was off the scale kinda mad. Everyone in the office knew it was me, except him. No-one told him.

Well - I did, 6 months later. Turns out he still wasn't over it. Went bloody ballistic in the middle of the office he did. Totally worth it though :-)

TL:DR; My manager was a dick. I blew up his imaginary spaceships. He went mental with rage and never got over it.
(lifson is a female..., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 15:22, 20 replies)

thank you
now i have the urge to watch jason x
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 17:00, closed)

Jason X
I do love that movie. :-) Not very scary - but hilariously funny :-)

"Hey, you're lucky you weren't alive during the Microsoft conflict. Hell, we were beating each other with our own severed limbs. "
(lifson is a female..., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:18, closed)

giddyap!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:57, closed)

Sounds hilarious
Or at least it would if I'd a fucking clue what you were on about.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 17:06, closed)

TL:DR;
OP is 13, yet somehow has an office job.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 17:25, closed)

I'm 26 (was about 24 when this happened) and was an IT Technician at the time :-P
(lifson is a female..., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:23, closed)

24 being...
Your IQ, perhaps? Or your collar size?
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:11, closed)

He's talking about
an online computer game.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 20:14, closed)

Wuh?!
put me in hospital twice
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 19:52, closed)

How dare you
question the veracity of a qotw story?!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 20:51, closed)

Office managers in Britain are allowed to beat their employees.
If they cry out or protest, that counts as gross misconduct and they get sent to jail without a trial.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 23:02, closed)

He should've impegnated his clothes with thumbtacks.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 23:15, closed)

Oh no, if the employee is found guilty of deliberately obstructing the beating (and they always are, if the jury knows what's good for them),
the manager has the right to shoot them in the face as much as as they like and stamp their heads into a bloody pulp.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 0:22, closed)

You've so just been to see The Iron Lady
& having an 80's flashback. Aren't you?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 0:37, closed)

It's worse than that now.
If you're a known persistent non-supporter of the Party, far-right paramilitary groups will smash your door down, kill all your children, gang-rape your spouse and burn your house down. Then you get fined £10,000 for being homeless and your insurance premiums go through the roof.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 1:04, closed)

Clarification: He made various threats of violence to myself and others in the office, but never acted on them and we couldn't prove it at the time. Deliberate and repeated aggravation of a medical condition I'd been absent with AND handed him a doctor's letter for however landed me in hospital twice (the first time within 12 hours of handing him the doctor's note about it!!!), with my airway closing up followed by severe coughing/vomiting all over the place for the following 3 days to a week. Not fun.
(lifson is a female..., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:26, closed)

Well I play Eve and I like this story.

(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 21:07, closed)

You brilliant man.
That boss must have been as thick as pigshit :)
(D.I.pshit solved another case on, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 22:56, closed)

He was. Yes. Other than the double-podding, my other favourite bit was when he'd come in and carefully described his frozen plant seed running route to us all, then we waited in the only low-security system in the entire 20 jumps to get him. While somewhat cruel, it was pretty satisfying reading his screaming and swearing in system chat. :-) How I managed to keep a straight face while he was ranting about it in the office the next day, I will never know.
(lifson is a female..., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:30, closed)

I don't play EVE
But I get the general gist of it :) star trek online is going free to play in two hours, and it's alright , not as good as ST infinite space looks though) oh and thanks for the 3DS add! :D
(D.I.pshit solved another case on, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 22:23, closed)