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This is a question Misheard and Misunderstood

Rachelswipe says: My niece - after months of begging - was finally allowed to get a hamster, and her grandfather was utterly horrified to learn that it had been called "Nipples", a pretty good name for a pet if you ask us. Alas, it was only the more mundane "Nibbles" - what have you misheard or misunderstood, with truly hilarious consequences?

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 21:35)
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When in America...
I stepped outside to smoke a fag.
(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:43, 25 replies)
Bum a fag, surely?

(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:46, closed)
don't call me Shirley

(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:53, closed)
I went to a trendy nightclub in Miami last night
I asked a girl to shake her spunky fanny at me.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:52, closed)
I bought a fanny pack once

(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 19:56, closed)
Something about sweatpants.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 20:55, closed)
I was at a restaurant with a friend when they said they had to use the bathroom
I mean, there's OCD and there's OCD ...
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 21:15, closed)
one of the cunt estate agents round here habitually refers to toilets as "the downstairs cloak"
If I ever meet one of them I'm taking a shit in their anorak pocket.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 12:14, closed)
'downstairs cloak'
euphemism for condom
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 13:00, closed)
!!.
"Ya gonna kill a homo?"
(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 21:22, closed)
In Australia, never ever 'Root around in the back'

(LetsGetDownToIt, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 12:07, closed)
but it's ok to wear your thongs in public

(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 12:43, closed)
it's really not ... it doesn't matter what you call them
if you tolerate flip flops it's only a matter of time before crocs are made legal
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 12:47, closed)
Solid point Dr S.

(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 12:55, closed)
Saltwater crocs?
I got them in my pool.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 3 Sep 2014, 13:31, closed)
How big is this pool? In terms of volume.
This is important.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 15:54, closed)
160W RMS

(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:01, closed)
'root my sphincter'?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:10, closed)
Reem my sister?
or is that ream? 80GSM?
(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:18, closed)
'gifted sado masochist'?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:19, closed)
goatse some mormons

(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 16:21, closed)
good sob microwave

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:17, closed)
Did you suck on its butt real good?

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 18:05, closed)
I propose
that cigarettes be renamed 'faggots', as they are in fact small bundles of tobacco.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 3 Sep 2014, 21:56, closed)
What would faggots be called then?
It's like pants, if trousers are pants then what are pants called...plus saying 'this is pants' isn't as funny... bloody colonies.
(I helped save b3ta! arsefez is back, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 9:15, closed)
We should get the Americans to start saying 'kecks'.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:05, closed)

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