I got attacked
by this dodgy fucker that lived next door to my dads flat. it later turned out that he's a smack-pushing paedophile, but that's peripheral to my story. i was on the balcony outside my dads flat, when this guy comes hurtling out of the darkness (bear in mind i was 17 at the time) and lamps me one in the face, goes ape to attack me, then shoves me off of a second floor balcony.

luckily, my dads flat was right next to a stairwell, and the only thing which stopped me dying was catching onto the lower stairwell with one hand. thats fucking scary. so i hauled myself back onto these stairs, and ran back up to find this guy attacking my dad, who at the time was suffering from liver cancer (RIP), and the pair of them hanging off the edge of the balcony. not just hanging off, but them only staying on by the back of my dads knees hanging onto the last unbroken slat of wooden fence along this balcony.

had my dad not just been in great peril, the guy would have experienced the feeling of the meat cleaver i was running along with, but deciding saving my dad was much better, i ran over, and pulled up both fully grown men by this guys hair. sweet.

he slinked off, and my dad got me to hospital, where i had lost two pints of blood, two front teeth, both lips split, and a fucking huge crack up the front side of my skull. i can't thank the guy who fixed me up enough, getting up at midnight from south london to come all the way to romford to help out a busted up kid? champion of the world, mate.

now i have fake teeth, which glow under uv light. and the guy who attacked me can no longer walk. *cough*

and just for sheer trophy, i have about three square inches of this guys scalp, complete with lank unwashed paedo hair, in a fucking bag. hardcore!

apologies for length and girth, but you love it, you filthy, filthy slut you.
(fantomex, Sun 4 Jun 2006, 10:30, Reply)