Music to flick beans by
A friend of mine is a wonderfully tomboyish lady. One horrific night, when our inhibitions were laying bleeding and ragged on the floor of the pub, we discussed music that might be good to masturbate to. "Flight of the bumblebee" by Rimsky-Korsakov was mentioned, as was "Mars" by Holst. I have to confess that I quite liked the idea of the Spiderman theme tune from the sixties ("Go web go!").

Sadly, she is now emigrating. I'd like to make her a wanking mix tape as a goodbye present. Any suggestions would be entirely welcome.

Length: oooh, maybe seven minutes per track, with a rousing crescendo at about five and a half minutes would be ideal.
(I grew it myself, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 7:57, 19 replies)

Holst
The Planet Suite (or whatever it's called) is fucking amazing.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 8:26, closed)

There is a list further down of songs about wanking
Turning Japanese, Teenage Kicks, I Touch Myself etc. stick those on after the classical tsunami of spaff has crashed on the ladyshores of- ah fuck it that metaphor's dead already :)
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 11:24, closed)

i would suggest
Horse The Band - Lord Gold Throneroom
it's about sex :)
also it's awesome.

and for dessert
Atari Teeneage Riot - Sex Law Penetration
because it makes me HAWT.

...you 'eard.
(quibble, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 11:56, closed)

there's a song
that my mate sam used to call "the orgasm song" when we were at school (which dates it to the 1990's, fuck i'm old) because it starts off a bit slow, then gets faster and faster and faster and then plateaus out for a bit, then wears off.

it was a cheesy dance track and i can't remember the - oh yes!!!!!! "higher state of consciousness" by josh wink. (or wank, if you prefer.) seriously, sam is a nutter, but if you listen to the song you'll see exactly what she meant!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 12:03, closed)

don't
you mean that 'je t'aime' song that got everyone all riled up cause it sounds like she's HAVING SEX!
(quibble, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 12:05, closed)

oh...
no you dont... but the 'je t'aime' one would be good also.

mix it up babeh!
(quibble, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 12:10, closed)

King Missile : Detachable Penis
?
(sinewriter, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 12:14, closed)

orgasm addict by the buzzcocks
(vince_noir, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 13:28, closed)

ooh loads
Beethoven: ode to joy
bloodhound gang: bad touch
electric six: improper dancing
fountains of wayne: go hippie
spongebob squarepants: the fun song
gorguts: the carnal state (kinky only)
Harvey danger: authenticity
hilltop hoods: the nosebleed section (interesting change of tempos!)
Jezery: Eenie meanie
lords of acid: the ABC's of kinky sex
mclusky: world cup drumming (8min epic !)
the misfits :where eagles dare
nirvana: negative creep
penknife lovelife : touch me again and ill stab you
presidents of the untied states of America: naked and famous
rammstein : du hast
supergrass: strange ones
spunge: kicking pigeons
Beethoven(again) : 9th symphony
DVDA: now your a man
the pixies: there goes my gun
rammstein: bang bang
reel big fish: lesbian song
rush: limelight
Wagner:ride of the Valkyries
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 14:32, closed)

Ravel's Bolero
Always gets me wet, that one.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 15:53, closed)

Mars
is in 5/4 time. I don't know about you, but that would put me off my stroke! Great piece of music, though.

May I humbly suggest "The William Tell Overture"?
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 16:21, closed)

FREEEEEEEEEBIIIIIIIIIIIRD
Although you might end up pulling your cock off.
(littlenipple hate's bad grammar, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 17:34, closed)

Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture
accompanied by pyrotechnics and cannons firing. And the French invading Russia.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 17:50, closed)

I'd sooner suggest
Mr Scruff - Blackfoot Roll
It's just got a jolly bouncy feel to it that suggests "Yes, I'm masturbating, do you expect me to be doing anything else?"
(joepublic 's opinion does not represent that of the public, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 18:48, closed)

Hmmm...

How about 59th Street Bridge song (feeling Groovy) by Simon and Garfunkel?

Nice beat, happy groove, and most importantly...

just over a minute long.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Sat 9 Feb 2008, 19:56, closed)

IMPERIAL DEATH MARCH
imperial death march
(bacontrout got ska, Sat 9 Feb 2008, 21:26, closed)

Lil Louis
French Kiss
(Good old boy just like yer grandma!, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 0:41, closed)

All these suggestions
Rock very hard. Thank you!
(I grew it myself, Sun 10 Feb 2008, 15:39, closed)

See earlier post by TC
for a pretty good list.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 13:06, closed)