Arrested for being mugged
1991. November. I'm still doing the whole military thing. Just coming off a six-week course with the Royal Marines in being thrown against a wall (officially called "Self-Defence" or "Unarmed Combat" or (less officially) "Ow! Fuck! That hurt!").

Was studying in Scotland at the time, the course finished on a Friday so decided to get off the train in Birmingham to visit some friends at university there.

Picture, if you will, yours truly - no hair, dressed in bottom half of my uniform (green trousers, black boots) with a Royal Marines sweatshirt on and a green bergen (rucksack).

Walks out of the station, along taxi rank and up and alley way on the way to visit said friends. Young member of the local criminal community jumps out at me and pulls knife demanding my wallet.

I put up my hands and, looking him in the eye tell him I'm moving my hand to my back pocket to get it, and please will he put out his non-knife holding hand palm-up so that I can put my wallet thereon.

Young chap complies with request.

I place wallet gently in his hand, grab both of his wrists simultaneously and head butt him as hard as I could muster. When he crumbled before me I started hitting him and, when the Police arrived a few minutes later, I was still hitting him.

For obvious reasons, I'm arrested and taken to the local station. Explain my story to them and take out my ID card to prove that I'm a kosher military officer (and not a local skinhead). No action taken against me.

Moral of the story, folks : if you're going to mug someone, pick your target carefully.
(Seismologist Have patience. In time even grass becomes milk., Thu 15 Jun 2006, 15:28, Reply)