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This is a question Never Meet Your Heroes

They're bound to disappoint - like the time we booked Wayne Hussey for the B3ta Radio Show. Five minutes before we're due to record, Wayne
phones, lost on the M25 with his Brazilian wife screaming in the background. Not so much the King of Goth, as a hen-pecked flake.

(, Thu 25 May 2006, 14:17)
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This question is now closed.

terrorvision and motorhead
years ago when i lived in prague, I went out for beers to one of my hangouts, a place called the bunker - a proper dirty rock club. As I arrived I noticed some english guys loitering outside, so i struck up a conversation. turns out they are a load of roadies for the terrorvision and motorhead tour, which is currently in town.

So I buy them all a beer, and they let me know that lemmy and most of the others are coming down to the club later on. great thinks I.

I buy more beers for them, go down to the club and later on a number of rock legends turn up and i get nicely introduced to them.

I buy them all drinks, repeatedly. round after round after round.

So much so, they are convinced im a top bloke - I was having a laugh with them too.

comes to 3 or 4 in the morning, im shedded and its time to leave - so I go to the bar to settle my tab - a scary moment.. Im expecting a big one.. probably about 25 or 30 thousand korunas (7 or 8 hundred pounds)

Barman says "no its ok, you are with the band. it is on the tab, they pay later.."

not wanting to argue, i made a sharp exit...

top night !
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 15:41, Reply)
Aphex Twin
I met Richard James AKA The Apex Twin at the MoS in 1993. I chatted to him in the DJ booth and asked him why he was wearing a Mel & Kim T-shirt. He said "cos I wanna shag 'em", "but Mel's dead!" I replied and he said "so i'll dig her up and do her!".

He also had an 80's hi-fi that he'd gutted and turned into a record box. Top fella.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 15:10, Reply)
Not really meeting as such...
Nor heroes either.

I nearly ran over Blaze Bailey from Wolfsbane (at the time) as he was crossing the road at Marble Arch in London. If only I'd got him, Iron Maiden wouldn't have gone shit.

Hang on...

Oh, and I nearly got Alan Bennett on my bonnet too. He was running across Shaftsbury Avenue.

Dunno whether this is a reflection on my driving abilities, or on poor road safety lessons for soft spoken northern writers and hairy heavy metal singist nobs.

That reminds me, met Dave Prowse at a comic fair. Top bloke, and taller than my mate even when sitting down. Wouldn't pick him up by the throat though.

Signs his photos "Dave Prowse IS Darth Vader"

Can't argue with that.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 15:02, Reply)
Pretend Best Friend
I'd forgotten this, but just read a posting about Terrorvision and it jogged my memory.

I'm pissed, at the Monsters Of Rock, Castle Donington, 1994, having imbibed furiously on vodka and Guinness for most of the day, and have just woken up in time to see the Wildhearts on the second stage. I wander over to the main stage, and I'm standing (barely), patiently waiting for Aerosmith (I think) to come on.

Suddenly, this bloke in a nice brown leather jacket pops up in front of me, and starts ranting on and on about how great my band are, what a big fan he is, it was great to see us at Donington, he's so thrilled to finally meet me, etc. I have no idea who he thinks I am. After a few minutes of his raving, it dawns on me that he thinks I'm the drummer in Terrorvision. I'm so pissed, I can't speak, so I just grin and let him get it out of his system.

He wanders off, content. To this day, he probably tells his mates about meeting Shutty from Terrovision at Donington.

So, no, don't meet your heroes - it could be me.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 15:01, Reply)
Faith No More
many years ago, Manchester picadilly - Our Price or HMV or something, met Mike Patton and the other members of Faith No More. F*cking legends. Mike Patton shook hands WITH THE WRONG HAND which i talked about for at least a year. They signed everything i had and i still have them.

Then met Queensryche (dont worry, you've never heard of them) and I had a copy of GFTPM magazine with a tab of "I dont believe in love" printed in it. The guitarist (Chris DeGarmo) went through and corrected it for me....I talked about that for, well, still do.

God I'm old.

And 20 years later I'm still going to see them live (next Sunday at the Academy, Manchester.)

(Still living the dream....) IHROOC.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 14:49, Reply)
Also...
Not so much heros but... well... two tickets to a launch party of Westlifes new album (at the time) 'Turnaround' were offered to me and my girlfriend pleaded with me to take them and go. She is a primary school teacher and wanted to get autographs for he kids (so she says) and how could I resist my wonderful girl and 25 snot faced 7 year olds.

It was in the Burlington here in Dublin and as soon as we entered, I proceeded to hit the free bar. By the time the lads came on stage, I was pretty far gone. The press took photos while they sung two songs and as soon as they walked off stage, all the press left. There was only a handful of people milling about who I quickly realised were all related to the lads. Because they tour so much and have their base in London, it's rare they come home so it was kinda like a family gathering with an excited fan and a drunken stranger.

Anyhoo... as they came out, they all went to greet their families. My girl introduced herself to them and explained why she wanted their autographs. They were actually really nice lads and I got photos of her with all of them. I spent a while at the bar with Mark slurring that I thought he had a really distinctive voice and I thought he was the best! (cringe)

At one stage I elbowed my way into a group and got in on the conversation. I started to tell a really dirty joke and halfway through, realised that Kian and Shane were standing there in the group listening to me with blank expressions on their face! It was... unnerving. I started having a laugh with, what turned out to be, Brian McFaddens dad. At one stage, some woman made a smart comment at him and I said "Don't mind her... she's just jealous that your Brian McFaddens dad." He just turned to me and said "I think not... that's Brian McFaddens mum". The whole group burst out laughing.

I walked out of there with loads of numbers of the Westlife family clan and they wanted me to join them each time the lads come home. Good night.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 14:08, Reply)
My Brother and I,
along with many of Cambridge's finest, have many times nearly been run over by the great Professor Stephen Hawking.

He's a shit driver.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 14:01, Reply)
Safe Hands
My dad and I once saw David Seaman in Homebase.

I was about 6-7 and refused to believe it was him, my dad insisted. Anywho he was feckin HUUUUUGE! and neither me or my father had the naggers to say anything.
He was probably slightly amused by the sight of us whispering and pointing.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 13:51, Reply)
John Mayer...
Met him twice. Really nice guy. Hung out in his hotel after the gig chatting with the band.

Got VIP tickets to a Counting Crows gig in Dublin with my girlfriend two years ago. Was delighted as I have been a fan since they released 'August &...'. Drinking away and next thing the band came out. My girlfriend had no idea who they were and I had to whisper "Ok, this is Dan, he's the guitarist" etc etc before talking to each member. They were hilarious! Dan was the funniest guy I have ever met. Anyway, Adam was chatting away to someone but I couldn't resist to get a photo with him. I had butterflies in my stomach walking up as he was such an influential part of my teenage years. I'll never forget seeing my hand raise up to tap him on the shoulder as it was all so unreal. I was about to tap Adam Duritz on the shoulder and talk to him!! He turned, I asked him for a photo and he proceeded to give out to me for disturbing him and then ranted at me saying (and I quote) "Just because you buy the albums, doesn't mean that you have any right to disturb me for a picture when I am talking to a friend." Here's a tip Adam... if you are at an after show party filled with people who were at the gig... you will be disturbed. Don't go if you have an issue with that.

Lets just say that I no longer hold him in such high regard. I told Dan that I thought he was a bastard... and he agreed.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 13:43, Reply)
Not my story
but NobbyNobody's.

Apologies if he's already posted it.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 13:40, Reply)
Another one. My own this time.
When I wasn't as old as I am now, I went off to meet the lovely Mr Terry Pratchett. (To be honest, I thought there would have been more stories about meeting him as pretty much everyone who owns one of his books has. Unless no-one else admits to reading them, except Bill Door) I hadn't thought of him as a hero until this QOTW but I suppose he is really - I love the way he thinks* and he gives me hope that there are other people out there that view the world with the same sense of dazed disbelief and mirth that I do.

But anyway, went off to meet the man upstairs in Forbidden Planet in Cardiff. Queued up with the other black wearing whelps and trudged up the curving stairs. I was with my boyfriend of the time, a hard core goff of the highest order (his view). His outfit had buckles aplenty and if memory serves, some spikes. I think there was PVC, eyeliner and black lipstick too, but as I say, it was a long time ago and some memories get repressed) We got up to the desk and Mr Pratchett says to the boyfriend while signing his book, 'So, are you a New Romantic then?' to which boyfriend stuttered and fumed and could say nothing. Then, to me, within earshot of said boyfriend, Mr Pratchett says 'So, are you a goth?'**

Laugh? I nearly surfed on the wave as I widdled myself. Hero status indeed for goff mockery.

*"I am not sure that there's such a thing as right. Or wrong. Just places to stand." Bill Door, in Reaper Man

** I am not a goth and was in fact wearing flowery hippy joyfulness.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 13:01, Reply)
Sorry. It's my age.
What about Leon Trotsky, dear old Lenin, the great Elmyra and Sancho Panza?
And what about Shakespeare? They've all watched their Rome burn.
No more heroes anymore, see?
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 12:40, Reply)
Not really a hero of mine but
rather nice anyway...

The campus where I work is often used as a location for films (particularly period films set in and around London). So, we have had our fair share of Hollywood stars here (Jackie Chan, Angelina Jolie, and if you go back about 18 years or so, Harrison Ford).

Anyway, about a year or so back, I met Clare Danes. Very nice looking, and apparently friendly. Trouble is, I didn't actually get to speak to her, as I had walked into her (literally) while she was hanging around the set in costume, and was dragged away by a couple of large extras before I could apologise.

Angelina Jolie was a different kettle of fish. Didn't meet her at all. She actually had a tunnel built from her trailer to the hall where she was filming, purely so she wouldn't meet any fans.

Jackie Chan was totally the opposite. Not only was he happy to talk to us, but he was also happy to leave a message in a colleague's leaving card.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 12:30, Reply)
Joe Cornish
Someone in a pub recently pointed out that Channel 4's Joe Cornish was sitting at the bar!!
I have to admit that I didn't know him from Adam.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 11:33, Reply)
Bizarre bollocking
A school friend was in a pantomime starring world renowned piff paff poof the Great Suprendo.
Finding one of his magic tricks backstage, my pal thought he would have a play. He was interrupted by the booming voice "you fucking touch my equipment again and I'll have you fired".
I don't know what was stranger - the concept of sacking a 9 year old, or the fact that he was preventing a small boy from touching his equipment.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 11:12, Reply)
Mine happened yesterday...
at the moment i work in a certain bookshop, and have been there for about a week when i notice we are having an event, and one of my favourite authors is coming for a signing!! so for the next few days im dancing around the store wooing and yaying and the such until he comes, i wait for an hour and a half while all the 9-12 year olds (they're well written books OK?!) line up, spend about 10 minutes chatting and laughing and having photos taken with him, and i get there, mention how i have much i have loved the first 11 books, but havent read the twelth yet and im looking forward ot it muchly, and he sits there, mid signature, looks up at me and and in a calm, uncaring voice says "It was all a dream" completely fucking ruining the last book and pissing me off no end!!

no apologies for length, but i'll you can go on top
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 10:03, Reply)
Used to work in tup 'puter Store
and the week before Xmas Welsh folk-musician-Fireman Sam themetune writer-semi celeb Mal Pope walks in with his kids. The kids run around picking up almost random stuff and he's telling them to put the stuff on the counter, while smiling happily away at me, as if he's saved an orphanage. He lets them grab roughly 200's worth of games etc and then after I scan everything through I ask for his card to pay. One of the guys working at the store was Rob, who happened to walk in as I'm swiping his card through the till.
"You know who that is John, that's Mal Pope."

"Never heard of you, sign there please."

Swear I'd just kicked a puppy in front of him; that wiped the smile from his face the gloating cunt. That's for Fireman Sam.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 9:23, Reply)
F***king to honour Ms Pankhurst...
My wife is related to famed suffragette and feminist Emmeline Pankhurst. Now I can't claim to have met my wife's hero seeing as Ms Pankhurst died in 1928, but I can assure you that when the wife and I are having sex I take great delight in uttering Ms Pankhursts famous Womans Movement motto: "Deeds, not words".

My wifes 'womans movement' is pretty good too, but perhaps not exactly what Emmeline had in mind...
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 3:54, Reply)
Mistaken identity
A few years ago I went to see the mighty Terrorvision rock the house at the Duchess of York in Leeds. I arrive nice and early, and proceed knocking a few back in the bar. I'm walking back over to my mates when I bump into a Japanese bloke with bleached blonde hair, spilling my pint all over him, and most of his over the floor. Cue me apologising profusely, offering to get him another beer, etc etc. He smiles, says not to worry, and wanders off.

After the gig, it's past kicking out time and Tony, the singer from Terrorvision, has found his way behind the bar and is distributing free beer to the fans, against the protests of the bar staff. As he's handing me my drink, who should appear but the Japanese guy I spilled my beer over earlier? He walks behind the bar, pats Tony on the shoulder and disappears through the door that leads to the dressing room. It's then that the penny drops. "That's ... that's ... him from Feeder!" I stammer at Tony. "Taka, aye", replies Tony. D'OH!

Incidentally, I've met Terrorvision many times, and they're throughly nice blokes. Not a whiff of prima-dona rockstar sensibility. A couple of them do keep trying to get into my female friends' knickers though.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 3:44, Reply)
Sociology students be wary...
During me 'community' phase (no, I wasn't being "cared for in the community" nor was I doing "community service" - this was totally voluntary..) I met Germain Greer.

Now she was a hero to me at the time because she'd appeared on HIGNFY, was one of the few people I could remember from A-Level Sociology and had actually turned up at one of those awful conferences at The QE2 Conference Centre in Westminster to talk about things that made me sound educated to East End girls (something about feminism or something..)

Anyhew - she turned up at a certain East End Community Centre where I was working and completely ignored me when she was introduced to us - it was almost like I didn't exist in the room or something... she was quite happy to talk to the other two in the room, but me.. nothing...

(I'd like to add something funny like I asked her to do the washing up to offend her, but no - she totally blanked me and went on talking to two complete idiots in the room... not that I'm annoyed nearly 10 years on...)
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 3:20, Reply)
Not quite a hero ...
I used to work in a mobile phone shop in Wolverhampton - One Saturday, fairly quiet cos the Wanderers are playing at home, and Jessica Garlick from Pop Idol walks in with a mate. Except, at the time, I didn't know she was Jessica Garlick from Pop Idol. In fact, I hadn't a fucking clue who she was. She was a bitch as well, acting all high-and-mighty, "don't-you-know-who-I-am?". And it gave me great pleasure to tell her that I didn't know her from Adam. The look on her face was priceless ...

Dave Hill from Slade came into the shop once too. I was ultra-professional the whole way through, and had to jump through hoops to get him to buy a phone. Finally I managed it though, even though he was a bit shirty (not in an egotistical celeb way, just in a rushed businessman type of way), and without letting on I knew who he was - then, right before he left I crumbled and just blurted out "Oh, and by the way, I fucking love Slade!" and shook his hand. Managed to get a snidey photo of him on one of the demo camera phones too.

EDIT - Also, I was on my way to the Leeds Festival in 2002 and we stopped at some services in deepest darkest Yorkshire, and who should we bump into but Michael Parkinson! Nice bloke actually, bit grumpy but who wouldn't be with a dozen or so grannies mobbing you when all you want is a piss?
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 2:50, Reply)
I was lucky enough
to meet the late, great John Peel about 5 years ago - the band who had topped the festive 50 that year were playing at a teensy little pub near me. Aft they had finished, I heard a rumour that JP was out in the beer garden; went out and sure enough he was! Shook the mans hand, got an autograph and exchanged some smalltalk. Truly a lovely chap, in fact so lovely that my stereo has been set to volume 11 ever since he passed on :)

As an afterthought - just to prove how nice he was, the reason that he had been at the gig was to pick up the band and take them to stay the night at his house. Legend!
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 1:37, Reply)
fat shit, as you say
I met Scottish funnyman on a train leaving Amsterdam.

I said "are you Robbie Coltraine"

"Fuck off, " he replied.

Fat, sweaty, shabby shit of a man

www.tashitagg.com/forum/weblogs/upload/35/38294343af9684e32.jpg
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 1:10, Reply)
John from Cephalic Carnage
Last year, my old band supported Cephalic Carnage at the Old Angel in Nottingham. They were top blokes, the singer gave me some drugs. The drummer, however, was possibly the best blastbeat drummer I have ever seen. I'll never be as good as he. Thus, my dreams were shattered. Sort of.

Twiggy Ramirez sat next to me in a club once.

Oh, and I told Phil Jupitus to shut the fuck up about Morrissey at the Reading Festival.

Yeah.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 1:02, Reply)
Bullseye legend Jim Bowen
I work for mercedes benz and had the pleasure of speaking on the phone to the great Jim "Undredaneighyyyyyy" Bowen. He was interested in the brand new S-Class and as i had been in the job for 3 days and hadnt the foggiest idea what the hell he was talking about, started paniking a bit. He must have realised i was new at the job and said in his hushed voice "Take your time son, take your time" Just like in bullseye. I laughed so loud the whole office looked at me, i then totally ballsed up the call by telling him about all these standard features that were actually optional (and extortionate) extras. Had to explain why i burst out laughing to the boss too, he listened to the call and i had to redo the training, was like being left behind a year in school.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 0:50, Reply)
Robbie Williams
I was pissing in the khazi in a well known nightclub and Mr Williams came out of a cubicle with all this white stuff on his face. He said "alright" - I ignored him and left. The Cunt.
(, Wed 31 May 2006, 0:46, Reply)

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