So there I was...
Out one night; it was pissing it down and all I had left was a fiver... So I got in the cab, and the driver turned to me, winked and said "where to lovey?" so I told him. I also told him I only had a fiver on me, and would it be okay to take me home as I was a bit worse the wear, he looked at me in the rear view mirror and he winked and grinned. I breathed a sigh of relief. He started the engine and pulled away past all the other cab drivers in the street; me in the back, breathing a sigh of relief.

Well, I watched the meter ticking over; four pounds, four fifty, four ninety... Five. He stopped the car and turned to me "All right lovey, out you get" he said; "What?!" "That's your fiver lovey." I looked at the nearest road sign, we were still a good forty minute stagger from home... "But...but..." I stammered in his general direction; "That's your lot love, gi'us your fiver and out you get." his west country drawl grating on my very soul. So out I got, and, all high heels and thongs cutting into me, made my sorry way home.

So. I decided to get my own back. The next night out I'd been quite sensible, and retained enough cash to get me home safely for once. Now, I'd managed to lose all my mates; but I noticed my nemesis at the back of the rank; so I approached each of the cabbies in the Old Town Square and asked them "If I strapped one on and bummed you, would you give me a ride home for nothing?" and they all sent me away, until I got to him... And I popped my head in his window and asked him how much it'd be to get me home; he looked up at me and smiled and told me it'd be about seven fifty, so I grinned and got in his green Toyota and, as we drove past all his mates, I gurned out of his passenger window giving thumbs up to all his mates!
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 20:37, 10 replies)

haha
Tell it again.
( 4Q just lurking, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 20:43, closed)

Genius!
Click click click! :D
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 22:30, closed)

old joke is old

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 22:41, closed)

BUT!
With a smattering of news thrown in for good measure...
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 5:21, closed)

First time...
I heard this it was a guy who asked the other drivers if he could fuck them in the arse for a free fare.
(trip2themoon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 22:51, closed)

Nice do-over of an old urban legend.
But with not one iota of fact.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 24 Mar 2011, 23:28, closed)

Ah but this one has a helluva load of totally topical taste
!


EDIT: Although maybe you have to come from Swindon taxi-driving stock to understand it. Too subtle? Too soon?
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 5:19, closed)

Too soon
Far, far too soon

*click*
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 5:34, closed)

high heels and thong
GREAT LINE XXXXXXXXX
(mparryuk52, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 16:56, closed)