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This is a question Nights Out Gone Wrong

In celebration of the woman who went out for a quiet drink with friends after work, and ended up half naked, kicking a copper in the nads and threatening to smear her own shit over hospital staff, how have your best-laid plans ended in woe?

(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 16:02)
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Not many b3ta stories involve Queen Elizabeth II, and a platoon of Gurkhas, so here goes
A few years ago, QEII is paying a royal visit to the country where I was working as a development worker for a well known charity. As we were funded by the British government, we all got invited to a reception at the British embassy. So we all dressed up in our finery and went. Did I mention that this invitation mentioned free alcohol………This last fact was picked up by several of my colleagues, including “Big Charlie” who was over 6’6’’and the wrong side of 20st.

Anyway, the reception came and went, we all shook hands with the Queen, and had some drinks. I then had to leave to get the train back to my workplace which was about eight hours away. No problem. Our boss had to leave too, as she had a meeting. Big Charlie stayed, which in hindsight was a mistake. A few hours later, he appears at our bosses house (which was next door to the office), completely off his head, with cuts and bruises, a black eye, and no recollection of the previous few hours, or even how he got there. The boss sobered him up, poured him into a taxi, and sent him home. She just assumed he had fallen over somewhere, which he had done before, after drinking a pint or twelve.

A week later, the boss goes to a committee meeting, comprising mainly of British expats. Comments such as ”the less we talk about the incident at the embassy the better” and “ I wish you could keep your staff under control” were uttered. The boss manages through casual conversation, to find out what happened after she left. Free alcohol and Charlie mix very well, actually too well. About a couple of hours after the Queen left, the embassy shut the bar. So Charlie reopened it. Not a particularly intelligent move I must admit. Especially as the people doing the security at the embassy, were Gurkhas. Apparently, it was the most polite fight anybody has ever seen. “Please don't do that sir, as I will have to hit you ” and “yes sir, I will be taking that beer off you ” were heard. His attempt at throwing a punch failed, as the soldier just stepped out of the way and watched Charlie go flying and make a dent in the floor .(For any readers who don't know, Gurkha soldiers are recruited from the mountains of Nepal, most are quite short, have a fearsome reputation for fighting skills, and can probably kill you in four different ways using just their little finger) Getting into a fight with them is like having a death wish, on steroids.

So for Charlie, meeting the Queen, getting blind drunk, getting into a fight with a platoon of Gurkha soldiers, being beaten up politely by said Gurkha soldiers, and finally been sobered up and sent home by your boss, who then takes massive flack for your behavior, yes ,I think that is a night out gone wrong.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 3:32, closed)
Top marks for the image of a polite Gurkha apologising for beating the crap out of Big Charlie.
"I'm sorry, sir. Was that your jaw I broke?"
"I beg your pardon, I appear to have stained your suit with your blood."

And so forth. Have a click.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 8:18, closed)
Tough little buggers.
They'll work till they drop and we pay 'em peanuts and treat them like crap. :(
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:06, closed)
not to mention pickling them in jars

(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:49, closed)

(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:33, closed)
There was a story of one in the paper the other day..
.. involving some poor Gurkha who'd been left on watch and saw some guy laying mines or something - he ended up dispatching about 15 assailants single-handed before his backup arrived, including attacking one with a f'ing tripod after he ran out of ammunition.

You deserve a fearsome reputation if you pull that kind of stuff.
(, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 12:19, closed)
I likes this
Gurkhas are the Asian Power Rangers.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:46, closed)
^ this
is the best thing ever wrote
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:59, closed)
For any of you who haven't see it,
I give you Bishnu Shrestha -

He is a prime example of Nepal's Prime Export.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:11, closed)
And extra points for use of the word "dacoits"
(, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 3:50, closed)
Actually, there are a number of stories involving the Queen and a platoon of Gurkhas...
it's just they're all too unsuitable, even for B3ta.

Oh, and if I told you, I'd have to kill you.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:17, closed)
a couple more, I almost feel sorry for the Taliban -,news-comment,news-politics,gurkha-in-trouble-for-beheading-dead-taliban
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:19, closed)
I don't...

(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:34, closed)
I'm just glad they're on our side.
Anyone who swears a blood oath on their effing great knife is fine by me.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:04, closed)
They weren't always on our side
In fact we fought them, they kicked our asses so badly and with honour that we asked them to come and fight for us.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 16:07, closed)
Thank fuck for that
Sometimes bad things turn out good in the long run.
(, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 17:41, closed)
Yeah agreed
especially as if it wasn't from pressure from the puclic and Lumley to let them stay here when they retire. What were they thinking? These guys are proper gents, we could do with a few more of those here.
(, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 11:04, closed)

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