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This is a question I didn't do it

Chthonic wants to know about awful, terrible things you have definitely never done. But secretly have. Confess!

(, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 13:16)
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I didn't piss on an enormous black guy's feet
Retrac's post reminds me of something that didn't happen at Woolwich swimming pool in my early teens.

Having finished a swimming session I retreated to the male changing rooms. At this point I became aware that I needed to urinate quite badly, but being nice and cosy in my towel I couldn't be arsed to trek across the changing rooms to the frankly disgusting toilets.

Looking down I noticed the channel built into the floor that allows the water to run off into the drain. I was pretty sure that I was in the end cubicle and that any urine I deposit onto the floor would run directly into the drain so I relax and let flow.

I watch fascinated as the stream of piss makes it way to the right under the cubicle wall. Then I start to get a little concerned that my logic might actually be flawed. I bend down to follow the stream further only to see it pooling with devastating effect around an enormous pair of feet in what is obviously a neighboring cubicle.

I immediately stop pissing and start preying that the guy next door doesn't look down. He does.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

The guy starts hammering on my cubicle door and I think he's about to knock it down. Reluctantly I open it.

Enormous outraged gentleman with dreadlocks and a tiny pair of speedos (shouting aggressively in what sounded like Jamaican patois): "Did you piss on the fucking floor?"

Me (cowering): "No, in fact I just watched it come trickling down from one of the cubicles further up"

I don't know why but he seemed to accept my story and took his argument up with various other people changing in the same row.

Have you ever seen those people on variety shows who are masters of the quick change? Well they had nothing on me that day.

I was changed and out of those changing rooms before he could realize I was the phantom pisser.

I lied to save my life. It feels good to confess after all these years.
(, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:49, closed)
sweet christ, who ARE you people?

(, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:52, closed)
Yes
I like this, hope it is true.
(, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 10:36, closed)

It's true and this is the first time I've confessed to anyone.
(, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 13:50, closed)
When you've got to go
you've got to go
(, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 17:59, closed)

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