Just leaving this here:

(Dave Trouser will waste your time, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 18:03, 16 replies)

Umm Bop, ba ba, doo bop, Sweebaduba Umm Bop, da da dooo, yea-ea-eh !

( Pauly pops Got a room going spare., Tue 10 Nov 2009, 16:15, 174 replies)

It's very quiet on here again
my computer is processing loads of terrain data, so I can't do any actual work at the moment.

what are you up to?
( Vipros what ever you do, don't tell anyone!, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 14:33, 204 replies)

Skype
Does anyone here use Skype?
I have just signed up so I can talk to my friend in Malaysia and my auntie in South Africa, but cannot seem to find where the screen is that they show on the instructions for adding contacts, or where to make calls etc.

Do you have to sign up to a pay-as-you-go account or something?
I am only intending to make Skype-to-Skype which are free.

Anyone out there who can help? (Please)
(misspiggy Is no longer working Fridays - yay!, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 13:51, 4 replies)

I GO AWAY FOR AN HOUR AND IT GETS ALL FUCKING EXCITING ON HERE.
YOU ALL HATE ME DON'T YOU?



*goes off to CR3 to moan about it*
( big-girl's-blouse is very sweet but not sweet enough, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 13:31, 58 replies)

:O
I've been away for a day or so and when I come back OT is like a fucking South American tele-novela! Woo.

I'm proud to say that the Apeface happily straddles the twin realms of cunts and kittens, but talks mainly to the cunts. Now I have a brilliant image of cunt and kitten straddling.

in other exciting news it took me about 2 mins to find the "post a reply "button 'cos it's changed. And I am leaving line breaks in my post to whip you all into a fury.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 12:45, 45 replies)

The time has come.
My old and trusty Isuzu Amigo has over 206K miles on it, and is getting to be what might be charitably referred to as "quirky". The time has come to put it out to pasture. (I'll hang onto it, as it's still running, but it will mostly rest in the corner of my driveway.)

I have managed to get about $5K together, and contacted my friend Richard to get him to shop for me. Within ten minutes he had a car for me to look at. An hour later I was test driving it, and he looked it over and pronounced it fit. As it only has 70K on it, I figure it should last a while. And as it's tiny, it should get great mileage.

Later today I'm going to go write a check and come home with a 1990 Mazda Miata, bright red with a black interior.

Booya.
(The Resident Loon is currently a starving artist, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 12:18, 8 replies)

Hey peeps
Since when did I turn into such an insufferable cunt? I used to be a nice guy.
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 12:12, 12 replies)

I just bought my wedding dress on ebay for £20 inc P&P.
Does this make me:
a) a pikey fucker?
b) thrifty, in these uncertain times of economic downturn?
c) the sort of person who can't wear posh clothes without feeling uncomfortable and spilling something on them like a clumsy tool?
d) all of the above?
( crackhouseceilidhband - "refreshing and logical", Tue 10 Nov 2009, 11:46, 74 replies)

Hello my darlings
I have had to deal with a tiff between QOTW people, caused by one person calling another a cunt, then a drunk user insulting everyone.

I have no idea how to police this other than to have a quick chat with all involved, since everyone was being insulted for a valid-ish reason.

The only argument against these people seems to be that you'd like QOTWOT to be a hugbox where everyone is nice all the time, which can never realistically happen - we'd end up with a QOTWOT clique more than we have already, where people can't speak their mind.

Suggestions, interfriends?
( cr3 history books forgot about us, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 11:30, 134 replies)

Someone is bound to know this...
In Excel is there a way you can select a cell while writing a formula that will automatically add the $ to the cell reference?

as in =(A5*$E$1)

tried google and I can't find anything on there
( Vipros what ever you do, don't tell anyone!, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 10:11, 29 replies)

I've got the Tuesday morning I want to go out and get pissed again but not on red wine blues
Someone cheer me up.

But please not psychochomp.
( big-girl's-blouse is very sweet but not sweet enough, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 8:48, 48 replies)

The sight of all those grown men
buying a computer game at midnight is heartwarming isnt it?

Actually no, its a little bit sad isnt it? Seriously, whats the appeal and more importantly, how the fuck does anyone have time to do this shit? I sort of want to be one of those people but not to play silly games but basically be younger and have more time. My friend is 38 and is getting up to buy it this morning, and has booked off the week from work to play it, to the extent of sending his wife away. I said I'd pop round tomorrow to say hi and he suggested that he'd rather I didnt. Thats basically a mental disorder of somekind isnt it?
( I have run out of coke scum, subhuman scum, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 6:21, 60 replies)

Bringing back the fluff to OT
We just found that one of the outside cats had baby kittums, they're all black and adorable and about 4 weeks old!
( Batshitmentalist being not quite so batshit since, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 2:15, 17 replies)

iTunes Support
The message I just sent to iTunes Support:

"Not only have I downloaded a single that will not play, it won't even process. I have bought this single twice now through iTunes. I have encountered this problem before and have shrugged the double-fee off for convinience. Not this time. I closed iTunes after I realised the first download wasn't processing in classic IT troubleshooting style (close and open again). It warned me that the downloads would have to resume when I opened iTunes the next time. No such warning came and as far as iTunes was concerned, the purchase never happened. I checked my available downloads and the single was nowhere to be found. I then bought it again (with no recognition that I had already purchased the single) and it downloaded again. It begun processing, then stopped entirely and is now stuck in limbo.

I refuse to pay for this single a third time with nothing to show for it. I expect my registered credit card to be refunded for these purchases and, while doing so, if you happen to notice the previous double purchases I've taken on the chin, feel free to refund me for those too. I will not purchase anything from iTunes again until this requisite is fulfilled."

Has anyone else had problems with iTunes purchases like this, did you contact iTunes over it and how did it pan out?
( MeekMan Trying to reinvent the toaster since, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 1:11, 5 replies)

This wine tastes like crap,
what else tastes like crap etc etc.`
(PsychoChomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 22:48, 26 replies)

Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman - well my name is Alf and I'm stuck on Earth, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 19:30, 25 replies)

My tummy hurts
I'm running a fever and I've had the squits all afternoon.

Any helpful suggestions for dealing with a stomach bug?
( The Light In Chains won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 19:13, 12 replies)

Pomegranates....
is the juice worth the squeeze?
( Kristine, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 18:30, 65 replies)

Oranges (satsumas, clementines and the like):
Capri Sun for people with too much fucking time on their hands.

Discuss
( Vipros what ever you do, don't tell anyone!, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 16:53, 42 replies)

Can someone enlighten me as to when it is acceptable to start a new thread on /talk?
I don't particularly want to at the moment, but I'd like to not get textually kicked in the nuts if the mood were to strike me.
( Vipros what ever you do, don't tell anyone!, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 16:22, 18 replies)

Well, I think 90nz0 is fucking great.
For a short-armed jewish chap with a dodgy arse, anyway.
( Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 16:01, 16 replies)

Morrisey get SPANGED, then flounces.
Pic in replies.
(cancer joy was short lived, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 15:48, 16 replies)

Photographic Evidence for PhillieJoe
Diaz to the left

Jolie to the right.

The urinal is the black grand piano-looking thing.
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 14:00, 56 replies)

I know this isn't /links
but they scare me so

dontclickthis.whatingods.name/i-fucking-love-this-stick.jpg

edit: well fuck me with a rhino, it is in the newsletter. Boy is my face red?
( Vipros what ever you do, don't tell anyone!, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 12:21, 91 replies)

Locals
Myself and Mrs joy decided to cut loose and head off to a Beautiful Place Out In The Country™ for the night, leaving the kids at home with a plentiful supply of Bourbon biscuits and hard-on tablets.

So we get to the hotel, room was a bit small, but serviceable, 4 poster bed and superb Loch views. So after a few libations and 'a wee lie down', we head to the bar/restaurant. We had already eaten, and took a pew at the bar, right up at the end of it, squashed right beside a bit that wasn't being used. We faced each other and fell to drinking some lovely red wine. After a while some session musicians set up their stuff and 'live music' cover versions were soon upon us. Some dreadful crooning woman and a throaty 'blues' type guy. It was all very vanilla, and if that is the kind of entertainment that people accept when they 'grow up', then i want to be a teenager all my life thanks.

Anyway, after a bit, this denim jacketed local inbred starts squeezing in at my back, constantly reaching for his can of fucking diet coke that he is using to mix his cheap brand vodka with. Anytime I lean forward to whisper a sweet nothing into my good lady's ear, his arm shoots across, where my back should be, so when i want to lean back, his be-denimed stump is there, like a rude safety barrier. I don't even look across at him, i just lean back, through his arm and ignore his presence, but by fuck does he want a space at this bar, not just ANY space, but exactly where I am. Eventually the strong red wine and bison vodka's take their toll and we decide to head out for a spliff, a loch side walk and then up to the room. As i walk out i say to the cunt, 'there's yer space back', he calls me a wanker, which I didn't hear because of the dull, loud music, but as the missus is at my back, she hears him and gives him the finger, right in his inbred face. He mumbles and shuffles like the cock watcher he is. We laugh and walk out, by the time we get out into the corridor, he has already commandeered the vacated space, looking like a denimed up chimp who has just regained the top branch.

Still, in morning, we had a brilliant breakfast that was made all the better by, not one, but TWO excellent croissants. The second one i cut open, buttered and fired a sausage in. It was like a smug hot dog.

So, has anyone else encountered bad vibes from unfriendly locals?
(cancer joy was short lived, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 12:13, 13 replies)

There are a couple of girls in my office
who are reasonable looking, quite a laugh etc. but they really really can't walk in heels. It amuses the hell out of me to see these otherwise nice girls stomping up and down the office.

Better to wear a lower heel and be able to walk with a small amount of grace than to have an inch or so extra height surely?
( Vipros what ever you do, don't tell anyone!, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:43, 14 replies)

I've just been to /board to see my new friends but no-one is in.
If you like I can put in a good word for all of you but I can't promise anything.
( big-girl's-blouse is very sweet but not sweet enough, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, 91 replies)

So Gordon Brown can't spell?
Big fucking news! In other news I burned my hand on a hot cup of tea. You think the Sun would print that?

Yesterday I had some fantastic sex. Whether thats a QOTW lie or by some crazy twist of fate actually true, tell me what you did to waste away your Sunday.
( PhillieJoe Being clever is not as clever as being, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:09, 85 replies)