I know this isn't links and all
But this pic off Lamebook made me both laugh out loud and then feel really bad.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 13:05, 32 replies)

Gosh, what a lovely Friday
I've just been described as 'fast and efficient'. In reality I just plod along and do the minimum.

I've had a massive breakfast bagutte and can of 5-ALive or something. I got Modern Warfare2 waiting at home, I'm off to the pub after work and I'll be out for beer tonight as well.

Is everyone else having a lovely Friday so far?

In other news, I am wearing red trainers and SuperMan socks.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 12:42, 51 replies)

Good gravy
It would appear that everyone in my office is either off sick or really really hungover from a scary drinking session last night.

How is everyone on OT feeling this morning?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent So my choice is 'Or Death?', Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:05, 126 replies)

Cunt of the day goes to this guy
www.thisishullandeastriding.co.uk/news/Undefined-Headline/article-1512753-detail/article.html
(sandettie light vessel automatic My dog has no dictionary, how does it spell awful?, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:36, 17 replies)

The Flaming Lips are playing Glasgow this Sunday night...
And I have 2 spare tickets.
Which are up for grabs.
Anyone interested?
( Five Go-old Badgers , putting tinsel on it!, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:18, 29 replies)

Anyone ever heard this before?
"Up Yaws" by a well known top ten act of the day. Some say it was Brian Conelly...but it don't really matter. A great stealth track for compilations. NSFW, so fire your headphones in.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVTf5EpIItQ
(Cancer Joyeux Noel was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:51, 18 replies)

Hands up who shagged a mental last night, then?
Surely not just me? :o(
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:03, 65 replies)

Woo!
Today me and my friend Samantha organised ourselves a little mini holiday up in melbourne - just over night, in two weeks from Tuesday.

Her mum's pretty sick and the only time my friend goes up to melbourne is when she's helping her dad drive her mum to hospital, so I think it'll be good for her to be up there without having to worry about her mum. We're gonna stay in a hostel, and just have a bit of an exploration of central Melbourne. S'gonna be great!

There's my smugness for today. I'm off to work to go pay for it now!
(Poppet Nothing like an almighty urgency-fuck!, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 6:06, 2 replies)

somebody explain this forum to me, please?
we had a picture board, no holds barred funny shit, and we had question of the week to pad out the news letter, people talked alot on /board so the /talk board came to life, but what the fuck is this off topic bollocks? really? even the mods in the title are saying you are too gentle for the othere boards, why is this?

love
m
xxx
( mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 0:57, 22 replies)

so, does this place just die at night?

(penelope, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:49, 47 replies)

I've just got a new phone, with the internets and everyfink
it's got the official orange firmware installed, and has certain features missing. does anybody know if installing the generic firmware would have any negative effects?
(ColonelMistletoe'n'Wine has got breasts???, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 20:10, 14 replies)

Jesus H Christ.
I've just seen something in /links that has filled me with despair.

There's a dating site for only people that are beautiful. Which begs the question why would you want to admit to being so shallow and joining said dating site.

Oh and the British are considered the ugliest nation.
( big-girl's-baubles wishes she was top of someone's Christmas list, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 19:45, 107 replies)

Tonight's question
Why can't we all just get along?


( mistaspakkaman is just a little boy who likes to press buttons., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 19:03, 53 replies)

Wahey, totally moving some stuff into my new boudoir tonight !
Has anything warmed your little arctic heart lately?
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 19:02, 12 replies)

Cowardly Lion posted one of the greatest things I've ever seen on /links
tubedubber.com/#SeMJOPlK-0E:KsmQB0pAC3c:0:100:0:0:true

It's the best mashup ever and it deserves an award or something

(original video here: www.b3ta.com/links/i_feel_awesome)

EDIT: Isn't working now. Worst thread ever, sorry.
( cunt cat retarded science: indistinguishable from religion, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 17:28, 11 replies)

The Honda Accord
People on here seem to be forever mentioning the Honda Accord and I don't get the joke! Please someone explain

Not funny I know, but it's been pissing me off ever since I became a member
(wehttamman jizzed on your face on, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:51, 12 replies)

I've discovered something that made me laugh and thought I'd share it
If you read the first and last paragraph of almost all of Spanky Hanky's stories they're even funnier. Not that the originals aren't funny, I just don't always have time to read the whole thing. And you can make up what happened in the middle. Just like he does ha ha!
(KittyOHara is a master corsetier since 1875, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:49, 100 replies)

seems to have died a death on here
unless you are all hiding from me, in which case I'm telling gazzing on all of you.
( Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:07, 47 replies)

One of my colleagues is wearing a necklace that looks exactly like it is made of liquorice Allsorts
admittedly the colours match her clothes, but still, it's quite strange
( Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:04, 128 replies)

Bonjour
I'm in France and am acting smug to fit in with the locals. Anyone else a big fat racist and hate certain races? My personal faves to hate: the Dutch.

EDIT: Apparently "race" is the wrong word. Bert, you is a pedant my friend.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:20, 102 replies)

Well bugger me!
A short while ago a helicopter landed in the grounds of the office I'm based at. And out stepped Joanna Lumley, who's opening the new shopping mall in town.

Anything unexpected happening in your day?
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:50, 99 replies)

I'm having a tough time again.....
I won't go in to it but this, I will:

This morning I looked in the mirror and didn't like the person looking back at me. At all. It then occurred to me that I've not looked in the mirror properly for ages as I'm not happy with me at all and it's spilling in to my professional life (the 2 week beard/facial hair confirms it).

Nothing witty there I'm afraid - just an outlet to you, my b3ta friends.
(james_tiger_woods needs to lay off the wine on, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 10:53, 124 replies)

I don't think much of students these days.
We have a lot who use my local, it was rammed with them yesterday, hardly any were drinking, and a lot were talking about their cars. Cars? How can they afford cars? I assume it's the bank of mum and dad.
Students should be drunk, and live on kebabs, and lager. True.
(christmas pookie pudding bear didn't go on, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 10:36, 28 replies)

I often make compilations for when I'm out driving and this morning thought
I wonder what a compilation of the best selling UK singles would look like. Unsurprisingly its utter gash except for Bohemian Rhapsody of course. Even the fucking Teletubbies got in the top 60.

1 - Candle In The Wind 97 - Elton John
2 - Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid
3 - Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
4 - Mull Of Kintyre - Wings
5 - Rivers of Bablyon / Brown Girl In the Ring - Boney M
6 - You're The One That I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Neutron-Bomb
7 - Relax - Frankie Goes To Hollywood
8 - She Loves You - The Beatles
9 - Unchained Melody - Robson & Jerome
10 - Mary's Boychild / Oh My Lord - Boney M
11 - Evergreen / Anything Is Possible - Will Young
12 - Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet
13 - I Just Called To Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder
14 - I Want To Hold Your Hand - The Beatles
15 - Barbie Girl - Aqua
16 - Believe - Cher
17 - Perfect Day - Various Artists
18 - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams
19 - Tears - Ken Dodd
20 - Can't Buy Me Love - The Beatles

So if you were making a compilation of the greatest songs ever in your own opinion what would be on it and why?

You don't have to tell me 20 ;) one or two will do
( PhillieJoe ho ho Merry Xmas Being clever is not as clever as being, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 9:31, 150 replies)

why do people think that things need a direction?
or some underlying meaning?

this applies to everything. Sometimes things just happen, or people do things because they want to do it, not for some reason that a GCSE class can study.

Good morning OT! Are you ready to rock?
( Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 9:17, 55 replies)

Think again, fluffehs!
Being grumpy "good for you", study shows

Of course, if this news makes you feel good, then you're self-harming. And vice versa.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 9:16, 1 reply)

Plasters of the world, I salute you
My mum and dad have just had their bathroom ceiling plastered and I have never seen such a superb bit of work, there isn't a single mark, it's like he's used a template of the ceiling to smooth it off. And not only that but he didn't get any splashes elsewhere in the room.

Plasterer, I think you've done an ace job and I wish I could do it.

Also, quick bit of info on my non scientific study: No. of motorbikes seen today: 1. No. of motorbikes sitting less than 10m off my rear bumper and undertaking at speeds in excess of 70mph: 1.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 8:07, 10 replies)