Morning all.
Good weekend? Mine was daughter-free but pretty good nonetheless. What did you get up to?

I have
a) gone running twice
b) gone for a two-hour walk
c) made pulled pork in a slow cooker
d) made crab cakes
i) sat in London Fields lolling at all the people who thought it was summer
3) drank and smoked myself insensible by 8:30
z) taken your mum up the 'London Eye'

Alt: I have no plans at all for the week ahead. Do you? If so, what are they?

Alt alt: I see Jocky Wilson is no more. Who else is dead?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 8:14, 216 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sunday is the deadest day on OT.
Things will be livelier on the 16th- I have the day off.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 25 Mar 2012, 19:58, 10 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

u cool?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 25 Mar 2012, 16:15, 12 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have spent a pleasant couple of hours this afternoon looking at flat porn
I started off in Finsbury Park but for the equivalent of where I am now I'd be paying more than double, and forget buying. Then I went North to Enfield Chase, where there are some very nice places for only about half again as much, and those that are double are fantastic. And buying would be an option too - this looks really nice: www.findaproperty.com/for-sale/property-10393019

Of course this is all moot if I don't get offered the job in London, but I have discovered I just like looking at flats, especially modern purpose-built ones. Fuck your Victorian conversions.

What's your odd pleasure? MY MUM IS DEAD YOU SICK FUCK.

EDIT: Also, any other suggestions for good areas to live with transport links to Moorgate?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 18:54, 94 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

'Oh what a beautiful morning!'
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the neighbour's kids have buggered off to their Grannies' for the day and I have dry-cured bacon, free-range eggs and cumberland chipolatas for breakfast. Life is good!

Tell me, O denizens of off topic, what's great about your day?

Alt: Why are you such a curmudgeonly twat?

Alt Alt: I dunno, something about how shit football is. Maybe kittens - you decide.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 9:17, 39 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Friday evening social leper thread
why are you home alone?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 18:56, 115 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's gonna be lovely this weekend.
I declare it the start of the cider season.

And to ring-a-rang-a-dong-for-a-new-thread...

If you had to go on holiday with a member of OT, who would you go with and where would you go?

Alt: What are you brilliant at?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 15:52, 159 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Girls thread is for girls
Gender stereotypes
I hate football (all sport in fact), I'm not in the slightest bit interested in cars, I don't do DIY and I've never been in a fight.
I do all the cooking and washing in our house and I am great with kids.
Yet, as b3th pointed out* in the previous thread, I am as resoundingly heterosexual as you benders are likely to see.
Do you conform to any gender stereotypes?

Alt: Why are you all such massive benders?


*Sort of

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 13:55, 212 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Shiny New Thread
about shiny new threads. Are you a Barry-esque clothes horse, or like Monty in t-shirts older than your Dad? How much would you spend on clothes? I am too much of a Northerner tight cunt to pay loads for clothes, particularly for work. Best items of clothing you own?

Alt:
I don't fucking know. When did you last "scrape the barrel"?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 12:50, 85 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

'ning o/t
today is not going well.
firstly, i slipped on a cushion on a laminate floor in my lounge, thus falling and spannering my knee, elbow, and dignity.
Then to compound matters, i realised the reason i was feeling unbalanced was that i had odd shoes on. not odd socks, odd. chuffing. SHOES. one adidas shelltop, one black nike running trainer. spectacular even for me. thanmkfully JUST before i left for work, or i'd have em on now.
How has friday sapped your will to live thus far?

alt: when did you last cause an 'oh for fuck's sake!' moment?

alt alt: mix me a drink, fuckers. and no horse semen.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 11:19, 155 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Much as I love 'rebranding stories', that moribund thread had to be put out of its not inconsiderable misery.
It's the weekend, gaylords. What are you up to? It's supposed to be jolly pleasant weather in London so I'll be taking advantage of that, hopefully.

Alt: TOPICAL DISCUSSION. Minimum booze prices - surely this will do fuck all to curb our three thousand year old Northern European drinking culture? Are these people fucking stupid?

Alt alt: Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try. No people below us, above it's only sky. Now imagine me, bollock deep in your highly-appreciative dad's anus. He loves it - YOU love it. Your whole family are fucking revolting deviants. I hate you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 9:21, 199 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright nonceburgers?
Last night I found out that Co-Op's own brand highland single malt is actually a repackaged Dalmore 12. It's about a tenner cheaper as well.

What rebranded bargains have you discovered lately?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 8:10, 44 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Oh what a glorious morning, oh what a glorious day, I got a funny feeling, sunshine is coming my way.
What a lovely day it is today, it's the kind of day where dreams and happiness come true.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Mar 2012, 8:08, Reply)

Ach! where has everyone gone?
need entertainment.

what are you all doing at the weekend. If it's boring, lie
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:07, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Top o' the morning bumders
I just got back from Ireland. How was your week?

alt q: biggest spoiler you ever received
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 18:01, 85 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New thread
What are you most looking forward to about Spring/Summer? beers in the sun by the river rank highly on my radar.

Alt: Were you a naughty child or a 'little angel'? Did you get away with murder or get the blame for everything?

altalt: I haven't had a drink since Saturday, i am well impressed with myself, although i am sweating a lot
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 15:28, 232 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Oh fucks sake
My mu-torrent won't download stuff, now I can't watch the second half of season 2 of Walking Dead while I write this report. Nothing worse has ever happened to anyone in the history of the world.

What's wrong with you lot today?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 13:50, 200 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sorry chompy, I really don't give a shit and there is nothing interesting there or genreal chit-chat.
I'm having a day off today because I'm beyond shattered from the hospital stuff yesterday, spent most of this morning schluffing on the couch. Now I'm hungry so am making a McJew, which is a bagel filled with crispy salt beef, a potato ludka (think hash brown), english mustard and stoke's ketchup (amAAAzing).

I'm looking forward to this weekend, gonna take it easy but also go to a party on saturday.

Just put on a flick called Hugo, I remember wanting to see it at the pictures, I've forgotten what its about though.

So, what's your lunch/weekend/entertainment/etc plans?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:23, 247 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Looks like not all Frenchmen surrender
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17473207
Unconfirmed reports he deservedly got shot. Prick
Edit: confirmed
Also vote in my second official poll www.b3ta.com/board/10724498

Alt: Don't you find it funny when two political parties have obviously got two differing party lines which are contradictory and the just bang them into each other. For example on Granny Tax, Con: "no one will lose any cash" Labour: "4 and a half million people will be worse off" The reality is there is a freeze on Tax relief for pensioners, so they won't loose any cash no, but the cash they get from the government hasn't gone up with inflation. Now if the polititians stopped spewing the party lines and just discussed that, then people could make their own minds up, it's a choice innit. I just think that politics of briefing in these sort of situations break down and everyone just looks silly, DON'T YOU AGREE!?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:51, 146 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning
New Question of the Week vote is here until lunchtime.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:22, 7 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

long thread is long
do you carry an organ donor card? would you donate anything and to whom?

alt: first word that pops into your head - go! ok, now. why?

alt alt: are you the kind of person who can eat cold curry and pizza for breakfast? or do you believe "it's too early for that" about any kind of food?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:12, 113 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's Thursday! Yay...
Is there a more depressing day? Fucking wannabe Friday. Cunt

Anyways, what does today have on store for you? Are you going to be discussing Alan Sugar's latest look at me series with Ruth at the water cooler? Stop looking down her top you pervert! I can't fucking stand Alan Sugar, the beardy freak

Today I will be mostly trying to fend off full blown meltdowns from two of my team whilst actually trying to start this weeks work. I shall also be discussing The Walking Dead and mainlining coffee

Alt:
Did everyone sleep badly last night?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 6:29, 262 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

the apprentice - cunts
that is all
( zulu eh?, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:00, 104 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Ha!
I've finished work for the day and I'm going to the pub!

Beat that you Gaylords.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:47, 151 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Please please release me let me go.
My computer blew up, well technically my backup computer decided to part this world. I am currently using a netbook the size of a childs first calculator. Well touch and talk thingies - the red things with a handle.

Anyway please rescue me, its running unbuntu, which I am starting to get used to, however where do the programs that I minimise go to. I minimise something, say firefox with a bunch of tabs open, logically I think clicking on the firefox icon on the bar thingy will restore that minimised session. but no it opens up a new window, my previous tabs to never be found again. Please educate me. Please tell me I am thick.

Cupcakes and cider for everyone that helps.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:58, 21 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Special request thread going out to my man P-J straight out of the oven glove massive in Caaarnwaaall.
Ladies' bums. Like them or loathe them, they're here to stay.

Tell us about your ladies' bum escapades.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:49, 73 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Much as I ADORE 'tax chat'.....
Fucking hell. I'm tempted to start a 'revenge music thread'.

But I won't.

London Mayoral Elections: give a fuck? Have a preference? As you might imagine I favour Boris over that horrible Livingstone fellow. I've never voted in my life but the promise of getting rid of tube drivers is such an attractive one to me I am sorely tempted to give a shit for once.

Alt: Your best crab recipes please. I have a fucking massive crab at home and wondered what you'd suggest. My 'signature dish' is crab/chilli linguine but the only other thing I can think of is crab cakes.

Alt alt: Slip inside the eye of your mind, don't you know you might find, a better place to stay? You might also find me, savagely doing your mum, right up the 'Paul Gadd'. You secretly like the idea, don't you? You fucking sick cunt. I can't believe we're friends sometimes. You disgust me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:46, 177 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Big news day today everyone
French psycho is surrounded in a building www.bbc.co.uk/news/17455224
They've cut off all gas and are venting the pipes because they think he'll blow something up.

And the budget, www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-17456712
Whooo will win the rich or the poor, tories or lib dems, ooh political intrigue.

What's for lunch, I might skip lunch to watch the budget, I'm that cool.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 10:56, 289 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

so without going into emo details, i think my worst nightmare came true yesterday
what's your worst nightmare - in real life or thrashing around trying to wake up?

alt: on the fluffier side - what's your favourite daydream?

alt alt: starter or pudding?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 10:21, 118 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning
I had a most pleasant day off yesterday with One of the sportscalves. We did some painting, went for a walk, made bread and cookies and generally had a nice time

What would you do today, given the day off?

Alt:
Can we not start another war please? Lols only
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 7:22, 244 replies, latest was 12 years ago)