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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Friday morning thread
I'm not going to work today due to chronic pain in my testicles. Instead I am going to go to the hospital and cry.

It dawned on me this morning that despite being a half man, oven glove fucker I am still not Quinten which made me feel happy indeed. What last made you feel happy?

Alt whats for Breakfast fatties?

Alt alt. There's going to be a pasty tax protest march this weekend and even though I am King of Kernow I think they are all a bunch of fucking idiots, its a fucking pasty. The Cornish are idiots right?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 8:36, 97 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I am in Swindon. It is worse than I remember.
How are you spending your evening?

I will have a couple of pints, eat and read. Thank fuck for iPads, at least I won't be completely bored.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 19:47, 165 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
So, I don't have to go into work again but I'm being paid for the next 2 months.
I feel quite gutted really, I have so many unfinished projects that I wanted to polish off.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:15, 177 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
What the world needs is MOAR....
alt: make up a new collective noun
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:47, 98 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I'm really, really irritable today.
Literally everything and everyone is getting on my fucking wick.

Why is this?

Alt: Stop irritating me FFS

Alt alt: What was the best birthday or Christmas present you've ever received? I'm trying to source a non-shit pirate costume for my kid and am going to do her two small paintings. The latter is going to be easier than the former, it seems.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:37, 166 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Well this is going well
What's the weekend going to bring? I am going away and it will rain all weekend, this sucks.

Alt: lunch?

altalt: would you knowing buy a diamond that was cheap as it was a "blood diamond"?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 13:03, 222 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Afternoon Off Topic
New Question of the Week vote for the next hour or so...

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:38, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
That last thread is now blocked by my firewall...
The rest seem fine, is this the beginning of the end for NA? What will you do without me?

alt: List your favourite NA accecdotes and witticisms.

altalt: Tell me why i am better than you
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:33, 21 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
long thread is long
so on the back of kristine wanting me to buy her an ipod, what would you want a fellow b3tan to do for you, or to buy you?

alt: what would you say is your finest feature, cleverest skill, or USP?

altalt: go on then... lunch? i am thinking fire roasted pepper and goats cheese soup from EAT.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:32, 127 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
This afternoon I have to go to Swindon.
Following recent trips to Widnes, Preston & Llantrisant. When was the last time you had to visit a shit hole town for work? Do you get to travel with your job? Anywhere decent?

Alt: What would you guess your grandmother's favourite sexual position is/was?

AltAlt: Should Jeremy Hunt resign?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 8:00, 340 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Any RIM developers about (and heading to Orlando)?
I know there are plenty of tech folks on b3ta, so i figured there might be some other people heading to BlackBerry World. If you are, gaz me and we can have a b3tard piss-up and speculate about how long rim will actually last.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 4:03, 1 reply, 6 years ago)
Christ, it's deader than mine, AA's and swipe's mums collectively in here.
Don't tell me you're all off having social lives or drinking cocoa in bed or summat; it won't wash.

For those of you still lucky enough to have two still-functioning parents, which one do you think will be the first to go? And how will you spend the inheritance? I put mine down on a deposit for a flat. Sensible or what?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:02, 76 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I made a little song today, it goes "I am so great, I am so great, why am I so great? because I am great". OH MY DAYZ, so many job offers'n'shit, LOADS and LOADS. Pretty awesome companies, huge ranges, every industry I've ever wanted to do website shit for in every kind of enviroment with every kind of wage.

I might even be able to start double-dating with Swipey in her posh fancy resturants and being like [posh voice] "OH no dear, I insist, I won the Anfield race this year, har har, that's my coke dealer sorted out for another month ! More champaign and fois gras and lobster, my darling? HAR HAR HAR, look at all those poor people who aren't us.".
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 18:48, 109 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
quentin, "boring people are bored" as my friend would say
so. what is the most ridiculous/clever headline or story you've ever seen in the papers?

alt: post something in the style of another poster and we'll all guess who it is? a game that NEVER gets old.

alt alt: have you ever dressed up as a member of the opposite sex? would you?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:28, 118 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
can everyone stop boring the shit out of me now please?

alt FFS
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:00, 169 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Following on from the last question.
Please see inside for a special B3ta copy of today's Daily Mail.

Image inside as apparently some people don't like them on the front page.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 13:03, 17 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Fuck me it's all got a bit Daily Mail around here.
I bought a copy of the Big Issue the other day for the first time in about a decide and was surprised to find it's actually rather more readable that an newspaper I've picked up in recent memory.

What socially responsible thing have you done recently?

Alt: I am getting sickened by the Boris and Ken show and have resolved not to vote for either of the buggers. It'll be a waste of my vote as one of them will get in but at least I'll feel clean and sleep soundly. What principled but futile decision have you made lately?

AltAlt: Anyone who says "Monty's Mum." is a pink-shirted, floppy-haired, shandy-drinking cunt.

AltAltAlt: Come back Blousie, I know you're lurking.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 10:16, 279 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
/OT's resident Time Bandit in 'starts shit thread' shocker.
I've been reading with interest about the attempts by Newham Council to dump their povvoes on Stoke, claiming that they lack the necessary povvo housing for them all.

I doubt this severely (I once accidentally went through Newham and there seemed to be more than enough shit housing to go around), but it got me thinking. On R4 there was some 'expert' saying that these relocations led to people staying several families to a flat to avoid leaving and boo hoo poor people etc.

To my mind, if someone is offering you enough money to live on (albeit only just) and a home, surely you should just say 'thank you very much' and take the free life offered, no matter where it is? Do these people have the right to moan about it. I think they're cheeky cunts and fuck 'em, grubby little oiks.

Is that perhaps a little harsh of me?

Alt: Rain, eh? Cuh! Unbelievable.
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 8:55, 175 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I am suited and booted.
In what way do your sartorial accoutrements rhyme?
(, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 7:50, 72 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I for one cannot wait for American Psycho: The Musical.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 20:46, 134 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
You remember when I said Tunisia was a big deal?
This is bigger and a live cast
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 18:45, 22 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
That thread is dying out.
You're generally a hate filled bunch of borderline Nazi's

Lets play fantasy Genocide! *perky theme tune*

Which group of people deserve to be deliberatly singled out and killed for the good of the human race, bonus points for psychotic autistic reasoning.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:41, 93 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
fucking letting agents
Still not sorted with a flat. Serious question: is it unprofessional to phone my new employer and ask if I can postpone my start by a week?

Alt: what's the last unprofessional thing you did?

Alt alt: I had a bourbon fried steak sandwich with caramelised onions and aioli sauce for lunch. You?
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:37, 97 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Talking of Luton
A bunch of people have just been arrested on Terrorism charges there.

But the details aren't out yet.

SO tonight I have only got to put some shirts in the wash and I'm totally free for the rest of the evening. What's your ideal evening by yourself?
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:19, 121 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I could have sworn I read a story yesterday about a man who died, but his work didn't notice that he hadn't been in the office for a week.
I can't find a link now, so I may have been imagining it.
How long would have to be dead before your work noticed?

Alt: There's a lot of talk about the kindness of strangers since that poor girl died during the marathon, and her justgiving page has reached a squillion pounds. Are we really a nation of bitter misanthropes, or is there just enough of the milk of human kindness to go around?
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 11:01, 134 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Alright. Food thread. /Talk doesn't eat food so I'm posting it here.
What meals have you made that sound revolting, but are actually surprisingly tasty? The other day my housemate told me about 'tuna and egg pie'. It sounds fucking grim but it was actually delicious. Eggcellent, if you will.

Food thread, away!
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 2:55, 196 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
What happened to the b3ta hot or not list?
I just remembered about it for the first time in years and when I tried to seek it out I couldn't find it. Were the b3tans just so damn hot they broke it? Or so damn fugly?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 22:47, 17 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
So which of you quenders
Is going to post an evening thread?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 19:58, 138 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
My bollocks hurt
When was the last time your bollocks hurt?

If you don't have bollocks when did you last hurt someone's bollocks?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 17:11, 16 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
It appears that the victim of a rapist footballer has had her identiy made public on Twitter.
What should be done, if anything, about the lack of controls on social media?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 16:02, 193 replies, latest was 6 years ago)

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