monday morning alright thread

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Mar 2015, 8:09, 38 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Saturday!
Start of the Easter half-term holidays! Traditionally it's the weekend that DIY armageddon starts, I'll be building a greenhouse - what are you gits doing?
Alt: It's pretty damn meh weather wise here in Warwickshire so the planned walk in the countryside's not gonna happen - what's your best excuse for not doing something?*

*That's something, not YM
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 28 Mar 2015, 9:35, 58 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

TOOLS DOWN! FUCK YOU!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 16:12, 80 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Best electronic purchase?
I just got a new toothbrush and its like a fucking pneumatic drill. I think it scares the plaque away. I think prior to that an iPod mini was the best thing I'd bought. The idea of having 1,000 songs on a Walkman is still slightly odd

Alt:
Best snacking item? I've got most of the wasabi peanuts left. They are like spicy crack
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 14:23, 137 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

LUNCH!
What do you order from the chippy?

Favourite Queen song?

Sweet or savory?

Just Fuck Off, yeah.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:46, 180 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Hi pricks!!
TGIF amirite?!?!
Course I am.
I didnt bother reading the last thread so feel free to regale me with your weekend plans of debauchery.

alt. That pilot weren't depressed were he?
I mean, I've had a few off days but ive never drove a plane full of passengers into the alps.
When was the last time YOU overreacted?

altalt. Dream jobs please.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:32, 215 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

After 4 days of trade shows I have a day working from home*
One was so bad we started to play 'spot the cheapest shoe/suit combo' and 'buzzword bingo' by reading the advertising banners and counting up how many times they could shoehorn the word 'solutions' into their brochures.
Do you ever attend trade shows? Have you ever manned a stand at one? Tell us your tales of badly-dressed overweight men in cheap shoes and overpowering aftershave.

Alt: It's Friday, I'm 'working' from home. What are the odds I'll be in the pub by 1:00? Do you ever skive?

*Drinking tea and cruising midget granny porn sites
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:04, 131 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Im seeing if i can claim for Industrial Deafness.
what are you doing?

alright?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Mar 2015, 16:59, 100 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Lunch? I've had the same thing every day this week; prawncocktail on jacket potato with a salad.
I think that's healthy.

I've gone into the office every day this week. I don't think I've ever done a full 5 days not-working-from-home before.

I'm on these new tablets you see, and they've sorted me out a treat, they're like the best thing ever, and they don't make me drowzie like the others. And because my anxiety is like next to zero, it means my stomach pains are less (one effects the other), so i'm not taking any extra opiates... I even had left-overs this week. They ain't even for my stuff, they're epoloepsy stuff.

I've had a thing about sparkling water recently, well into that.

So, what's YOUR blog?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Mar 2015, 13:05, 82 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

GOOD MORNING VI3TNAAAAAAAM!

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 26 Mar 2015, 8:23, 109 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

your all twats
Really really self important twats.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 17:42, 163 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Just booked a room at the below hotel
pavilionhoteluk.com/

Looks like it might be a bit waqqi but it was nice and cheap. What accomodation have you regretted booking?

Alt: Last thing you stole you light-fingered scum
Altalt: Carrot Cake y/n
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 15:45, 51 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

anyone who reads books which aren't SF or fantasy is a pretentious poof worthy only of internet derision
Alt: Christina Hendricks y/n
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 13:01, 47 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Read any good books, recently?
Anything is preferable to poo chat, surely?
Perhaps you've written a book - that might be interesting. If you were to write a book, what wound it be about? They say you should write what you know, so what do you know?
If you're feeling inspired, why not type a short story into the replies? But not if it's about your bowel movements - you can keep that between yourself and the porcelain, thank you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 10:49, 204 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Good morning !
I did the most glorious poo in my life this morning. Took 20 minutes and was so big that it towered a good 10cm above the water line. It's taken me 2 tries to flush it so far. I feel like I've lost weight. It's really set me up for the day.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 7:52, 139 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Lets put today out of its misery with a quick double tap to the head thread
What's the most epic/ironic/studpid historical death you've ever heard of?

Alt: What's for dinner?
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 16:20, 96 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

New thread
Best breakfast if you assume a full english is not available.

Alt: If you could live in any city in the world where would you live.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 14:04, 20 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Missing passengers, missing threads
what are you missing? what have you lost lately?
What have you done for me lately?

OOOOoooooooOOOOOOO YEAH!

alt. lunch/sheds/cable chat
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:53, 262 replies, latest was 9 years ago)