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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Porking in the air

She had a lovely pair
I thought I'd try to touch her thigh
The thing I want to show is trapped behind my fly.

I hope she doesn't bite
She better hadn't fucking chew
I'll wave it in her face, then poke her in the flue.

My manhood is unfurled
My testicles sway in the breeze
Did she notice the pills
Put in her Krispy Kremes?

Now she gazes open mouth
Taken by surprise
My studio assistant can't believe her eyes

I shaved my pubic hair
To make my cock look big, no lie
This isn't going well
She's poked me in the eye

'Come on, please. Take a look, at my big Welsh Leek
Please arouse this mighty monster from its sleep'

Now I'm due in court
Because of frigid bitches moans
I can't control my dick, my name is Aled Jones.
(, Sun 19 Nov 2017, 8:26, 1 reply, 9 hours ago)
Collarspace thread

(, Fri 17 Nov 2017, 13:34, 2 replies, latest was 1 day ago)
I've been coerced into secret santa for
£10 which I always get wrong. What's the
shittest secret santa gift you've been involved with?
Also in England secret santa should be called Furtive Father Christmas.

It's for a bloke who likes technology. Any suggestions gratefully received. Not ones about fucking off.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2017, 15:58, 14 replies, latest was 2 days ago)
Er ... anyone having anything nice for breakfast tomorrow?

(, Tue 14 Nov 2017, 22:08, 6 replies, latest was 4 days ago)
Pow!!! Another big fat click from me.
Loving the gloriously confused and adorable face on that enormous furry spastic.

(, Sun 12 Nov 2017, 9:28, 7 replies, latest was 5 days ago)
And now Chuck Mosley.
(, Sat 11 Nov 2017, 1:52, 2 replies, latest was 1 week ago)

You can't get shitter than a thick Rick Witter!
(, Fri 10 Nov 2017, 12:53, 1 reply, 1 week ago)

(, Thu 9 Nov 2017, 18:51, 10 replies, latest was 1 week ago)
O R G A N O G R A M!

(, Tue 7 Nov 2017, 11:49, 5 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
It's Friday, motherfuckers!
The sun is shining, I've just had some excellent work news and the weekend is looming large.
In the tradition of old-school O/T - weekend plans?
I'm off with the Doris for a nice dinner and some music on Saturday night and hoping for a chilled Sunday with my musician mates.

Alt: Lunch?
(, Fri 3 Nov 2017, 10:38, 4 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
Happy Samhuin demonic
beings of the netherrealms. Is anyone doing anything worthy of note? Dressing up and going out drinking, or giving small children sweets?

This is the first year for ages I've not done massive drinking on the Hallowe'en weekend. Think I'll change that tonight.
(, Tue 31 Oct 2017, 16:14, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
This place is dead, isn't it?
(, Fri 27 Oct 2017, 10:01, 9 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
The black death is back.
In other news, men touch womens bottoms without their permission.
(, Thu 26 Oct 2017, 8:57, Reply)
We half half a dozen
German Shepard and Labrador puppies in the office today.

All of them are being trained as guide dogs, so they have spent the morning being told that lifts aren't scarey and barking.

Fair made my Monday this has.

Anything interesting in your workplace?
(, Mon 23 Oct 2017, 12:50, 6 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Someone gave
me some hot sauce made out of Carolina reaper chillis. It's inedible unless diluted with ketchup, and this morning my stomach's making disgruntled noises. A bit like if you were listening to the Major from Fawlty Towers talking but someone had put a rubber sheet over his face.

What's the hottest thing you've ever eaten? Why don't you tell me? What are you hiding?
(, Sat 21 Oct 2017, 9:39, 7 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

(, Fri 20 Oct 2017, 8:13, 4 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

(, Wed 18 Oct 2017, 13:32, 3 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

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