Saturday gaylords.
Fucking hell I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't go out and have eight or so pints without waking up after four hours sleep with a banging hangover. I'm gonna have to go for a walk to clear my head.

Wassup my negro amigos?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Oooh, totally stomped.
I thought everyone was dead.
I was going to start a memorial collection an' everything.
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Eating some breakfast cheese
listening to splendora and considering some coffee.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 10:43, Reply)

I'm going out for a full english in a bit
Om nom nom.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)

I got a text back just now, what absolute joy.
I've cobbled together a new funk and soul playlist on my iPhone and am off for a walk by the river. Good times.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)

I'm still in bed.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Yeah I've relocated back to bed.
It isn't as sunny as I thought it was. Can still get away with shades when I go out in a bit though I reckon.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

What a pair of benders.
Actually, budge up, make room for all of us.
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:22, Reply)

I'm forced by circumstance into going to Sainsbury's on a Saturday.
Cock.
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

*shudders*
God have mercy on your soul.
RIP Kroney Foreva in ar hartz
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:21, Reply)

I'm at work
and because two inconsiderate cunts have come down with typhoid overnight, I'm going to be here til about 4pm. I haven't had breakfast and I didn't bring lunch because I thought I'd be done by 1pm at the latest. Fucking shit bollocks cunting fucking...fuck.

Also Baz, it's your age. You've turned 21 now, and that means drinking=hangovers. It only gets worse I'm afraid.
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:24, Reply)

*sends takeaway round to berk's work*
Is there somewhere you can grab something to eat?
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Nope
Saturday, everything is shit.

EDIT - ha! I meant shut. But shit too. I could pop out to Headington but I doubt I'll have time.
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)

I think this is a legitimate reason for a phone call to Tennis Boy.
If the place is proper empty, you could bribe him with office sex.
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:32, Reply)

Pfft
he's at work til 2pm and even if he weren't, he wouldn't drive 60-odd miles just to get me a sandwich from tesco.
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)

Dump him.
He's obviously useless.
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:53, Reply)

I'll bet Gonz would rustle up something for you both in exchage for being the meat
in a b3th and berk sandwich.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:55, Reply)

Oh, you've woken up again, have you?

( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Yeah. I'm all awake.
I've got up and had a coffee.

I'm going to jump in the shower in a minute.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

Yeah, but to be honest...
how willing would YOU be to make a 120 mile round trip to bring someone lunch? Particularly as he barely has the money to put enough petrol in his car to get to work at the moment...
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

You'd think that Tennis Boy would be able to 'serve' up something.
Ace.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)

I might not do that
but I'd be able to phone a nearby takeaway and get something delivered to your office/lab.

Mind you, there's nothing stopping you doing that yourself, i suppose.
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:12, Reply)

I've got £60 to last me til the end of the month
so, no. Also, I'm in the category III containment unit, and I can't ring out or even get out to sign for anything. So, again, no.
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:25, Reply)

Well, that sucks.

( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Yep, a big one.

(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:35, Reply)

I'll buy you some chocolate
When you come to Briz.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Ah yes, to make up for the chocolate you didn't buy me
when I got knocked off my bike by a pedestrian...?
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:47, Reply)

He's obviously useless as well.

( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:49, Reply)

I'm sensing a theme here.

(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:52, Reply)

I'm not rubbish!
I sent you a witty text about your personal injury and got you a kebab. I'm a prince amongst men.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:58, Reply)

I concede that the text did make me giggle for whole minutes.

(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:00, Reply)

And the offer of chocolate
Still stands.

What more do you want?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:04, Reply)

How the hell are you going to last on sixty quid?
That wouldn't last me three or four days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:57, Reply)

She may have to forego buying jackets...

( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:58, Reply)

I had a jacket audit yesterday.
It's not good, loads need to go. And loads need to come in.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Trading jackets could be your lively 'hood'.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Lots of beans on toast, breakfast cereal and very little social life.
moving house was expensive.
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:00, Reply)

I live off porridge and brown rice.
Also couscous is always on offer in Waitrose (£1.75 for a preposterously big pot) so I grab that every now and again. I definitely spend too much money on food when I'm out though, I can't walk past Boots without getting sushi at four bloody quid a go.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:06, Reply)

Did they give you any of that deposit back?
That was a ridiculous amount they charged you.
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Pfft fuck no.
they've got their grubby little mitts on that til the day I leave.
(berk no mistakes no misbehaving, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:10, Reply)

Make sure you take a shit in the water tank before you move out.

( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:13, Reply)

You're all class b3th.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

You knows it.

( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

With spirits I'm absolutely fine.
And if I get smashed on beer it's fine as well. It's when I've had six to eight and I come home merry that it's a nightmare the next day. No idea how that all works.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:58, Reply)

You need to drink lots of water Baz.
Before you go to bed.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:01, Reply)

You southern shandy drinking poofter.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Sainsbury's = brutal.
I am also 100 quid lighter :(

I got a frijj and an easter egg though, so yay me
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:09, Reply)

What egg did you get?

( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:13, Reply)

You're alive!

( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 14:14, Reply)

I feel like someone beat me up
Apparently havi.g a shot of gin before bed after drinking heavily isnt actually a good idea
( K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 15:00, Reply)

are you sure it was *just* the gin?

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

ive never had beefeater so yeah pretty sure

( K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

£10 treble on to liven up things.
Brighton, Chelsea and Sunderland. Do not let me down.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 15:34, Reply)