Rebecca Brookes has been arrested, for perverting the course of justice
What would you like to pervert the course of?

Alt: Cheltenaham races this week, are you a gambler? What success and failures havce you experienced at the track?

Altalt: (for Rory) Do you like to drink coffee, carry a knife and eat baconz while playing Warhammer?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:42, 113 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've perveted the course of enough I reckon
I'd like to be arrested for putting Rebekah Brookes into a woodchipper though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:44, Reply)

I read an article about a chemical process that can turn people into crude oil the other day.
Solve the worlds problems that will.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Heh, good crazy ginger bitch.
Ummm, I'll go with History.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Any part in particular?
The further back you go, the less predictable the outcome on modern life would be I guess
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Dunno maybe the Renaissance.
Not so early I'll be living in a hut, not so late that the few things I know won't seem magically smart.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:51, Reply)

YM
Alt: So far, I've bet on 3 Nationals, winning twice, meaning I'm up £95, which I don't mind too much! Aside from that, I've lost every bet bar 2, but am still in the black after winning £45 from a £1 bet.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:53, Reply)

i find rebekah brooks stragely attractive
there, i said it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Probably because you are a massive pervert

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:56, Reply)

yeah, talk dirty to me
thats it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Don't feel bad, I had a similar thing about Kate McCann for some reason.
I guess evil can be attractive.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)

About fucking time.
I think I've said this before, but every year I bet £10 on Southend United to win whatever division they are in. For the 2005/2006 season, they had just come up to League 1 through the play offs and were favourites for relegation. I had my tenner on them anyway and they went and won the title at 66-1.

They don't need to win another title untile 2071 and I am still up on my Southend United betting. This year they were 33-1 and are currently 3rd, so another £330 isn't quite out of the question yet (although Swidnon are going to ruin that one, for sure).
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)

Swindon ruining lives across the country

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Particularly in Wiltshire.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:02, Reply)

It really is a fucking hole

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:06, Reply)

This thread is banging.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:02, Reply)

no one is here really

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:05, Reply)

i'm here
on and off
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I wish you had a hat on.
I would post more if you were wearing a hat.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:10, Reply)

i can pop home at lunch and get the cowboy hat if you like?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:12, Reply)

you need to post more about baconz and carrying knives around and drinking fifteen coffees for lunch lollers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:11, Reply)

Is Kaol back?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:13, Reply)

there'd be links to a shit incoherent comic detailing the adventures of a fat mental

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I liked the way he wore a long leather coat and fingerless leather gloves
he looked well 'ard
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)

Ooooo, which other b3tans that left ages ago can we take the mickey out of?
How about we mock ..... errrrr ...... I dunno who to pick.

Ancrenne. Let's mock her.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Whatabout Vipros

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)

He still lurks
I'm sure he'd love it if everyone were to slag him off.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:26, Reply)

He's a boring tosser.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:28, Reply)

I hate his beard and trousers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:29, Reply)

and his fucking van man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:29, Reply)

and his band

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)

and his house and mum and dad and wife and kitchen and everything

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)

and his band are shit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)

What about Bert?
Oh, he's still here, isn't he Quinten?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Being a mental brings out the creative side of people
There's a bloke in my street who might possibly be your dad who shits his pants, he's the picasso of trouser shitting
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)

HIs Turd-nica was a masterpiece

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Portrait de la mèrde de l'artiste
was better.

As a painting and a pun...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)

I respectfully disagree

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:34, Reply)

scarpe was never called an asshole

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:39, Reply)

THE SMELL!! DIVINE

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)

Alt alt: That has made things worse not better
DYAAKY
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)

DYAAKY?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)

Delete your account and kill yourself.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Delete your etc.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:23, Reply)

Billy Idols less successful ......

(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Alt Alt: I'd probably drink coffee if I was playing warhammer.
Or beer
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)

It's precisely this kind of maverick behaviour which makes you seem so dangerous, yet appealing to women, in equal measures.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)

I've bought Dawn of War 1 and 2 before I went on holiday.
I quite like Dawn of War 1 and 2 is supposed to be better.

How was Malaysia?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)

2 is much better.
Malaysia was great, I'd go back, probably not to KL but to have a look round the islands. The Food is amazing, people are polite, landscape is amazing.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Are you both admitting to reading Warhammer based fiction...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)

It's a game, spastic.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)

That's much better

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)

Withering

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

try not to imagine your mum whilst you're masterbating then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I am not a pervert, nothing was ever proved.
Alt: I don'y generally gamble because I know the odds and am not a mug. I play poker occasionally but expect to loose, still fun none the less.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)

no one likes to "loose"
*filling in for Monty*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Now what was Monty's little pet name for you?
Ah, yes, Bent Spastic, that was it. Fuck off you bent spastic.

How's my least hated marketing cunt today?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Ha!
Not bad...on site at a client today, so got my headphones on with some Bon Ivor to keep me company.

I watched the Secret Policeman's ball last night which was in the USA for the first time but with mainly British comics, it was embarrasingly bad
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Christ it was awful, wasn't it?
So much...I dunno what it was...Fear of...Pandering to...an American audience?

Mind you, anything that starts with a double act of Ben Stiller and David Walliams should have set alarm bells ringing instantly.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:40, Reply)

Even Eddie Izzard was poor
It just didn't feel like anyone had put any effort into writing their material. And the whole "Americans are like this and Brits are like that" is such a tired concept.

Only Jack Whitehall seemed to be trying, and I have a particular dislike of him so it's takes a lot for me to say that.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)

I don't mind him actually. he's clearly a twat, grant you, but he's a better comedian than a lot that get their own TV shows these days, (Millican, I'm looking at you right now).

I don't think Izzard has had his heart in stand-up for about 5 years now, really. He is desperate to be a big movie star and it shows.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)

In his day he was brilliant

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Shame he's a crap actor really.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Absolutely.
Around the time of 'Definite Article' and 'Glorious' there was no one to touch him.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)

Maybe his power came from his transveticism?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)

'Circle' has it's moments too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

He's thinking of becoming a polititian.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)

I'd vote for him.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)

As would I to be honest
www.guardian.co.uk/politics/blog/2009/apr/29/eddie-izzard-to-be-labour-politician
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)

I'd vote for you for that matter.
it's as much a mark of my lack of respect for all current politicians as anything.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)

I expect I would too, to be fair.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)

a what?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)

Not for about 10 years though.
Basically not until he has completely proven that he's never going to be an A-list movie star...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)

for
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Hey there sweetums.
how goes?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Not bad thank you darling
How's the collarbone?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Fine, just waiting for the op on Saturday.
It won't get any better before then. But I have little pain and lot's of movement so I'm not complaining. Just seem to get tired really easily.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Maybe you caught ME when you got it looked at?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)

Doubt it.
Bit of a mystery TBH, but I'm sure it'll pass.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)

Are you saying he is becoming a bent spastic?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)

haha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)

no becoming about it

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Glad to hear it
No more motorbikes for you young man
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)

Never got on one.
I know to many people who were badly injured on them. There's also some family history with the things.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Oh apologies, I thought you'd suffered a man's injury
So when you said you came off the bike, you meant a pedal bike. Were you pushed off? By the five-year-old you stole it from?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Bikes with engines are for girls.
I wish I knew how I came off TBH. Just being a spaz I guess.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

I assumed you were run down by a white van or similar
but you did this to yourself?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

I really don't know. I remember stopping at some lights and hitting the ground.
I went down on my head and right shoulder so I assume no car or it's have run me over.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)

You big spaz!
Were there no witnesses?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Possibly
I was too dazed at the time to ask or care.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:12, Reply)

I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

So do I usually.
falling over is not new to me, getting hurt is though.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:13, Reply)

When I was a teenager I was seriously considering getting a motorbike when I was older
However, considering where I live now, I think it would be a terrible idea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Inside a globe-shaped cage?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

at the top of a ramp by four parked double deckers?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:11, Reply)

On the 'most dangerous road in Britain'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:13, Reply)

crashing wise or stabbing wise?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Crashing
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_and_Fiddle_Road
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

and they bare spending £1.7m on traffic calming
let them kill themselves if they want to
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)

The road in question is pretty frightening at times, there's only a wire fence stopping you from a good 30ft drop

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:19, Reply)

i suggest not driving off the side then,,,

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)

NA NA NA I CAN'T HEAR YOU

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Seriously, I don't know a simgle biker without a bad crash/injury to their name.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

One of my friends was once on the back of her Dad's bike, as he went up a hill she lost her grip with her legs, meaning that she flipped over backwards, with her legs in the air, facing the floor
Fortunately they were only about 30 seconds away from home, supposedly the car behind was quite shocked.

She's still not happy that I crack up every time she tells this story.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Glad she's OK.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)

We joke that she's immortal, severe health problems when younger, nearly falling off a motorbike, etc
But yes, so am I.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)

I didn't you could grow out of being retarded

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)

Just because you haven't, doesn't mean the rest of us can't

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:19, Reply)

me too hun

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)

alt alt who the hell in their right mind doesn't carry a pointy knife whilst beating up rival drug dealers with a baseball bat dressed in a flappy trenchcoat

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:24, Reply)

Why would you dress up a baseball bat?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)

ITS MY LATEST COMIC CREATION
*drinks fifty second expresso frapacchino*
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Is it terribly important that it takes exactly 50 seconds to drink?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)

look it's my schick man, stop taking the piss

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)