'Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged'.
The Beatles there, with their racist classic. I've got my old login back, and am rather pleased about it. When did you last get something back? Did you want it, or was it unwelcome?

Alt: What would you like for dinner?

Alt alt: Imagine this: no gun, no knife - it's a one-on-one and now we gots ta fight. Now imagine me, teabagging your gran, whilst curling one out onto a glass coffee table. I can't fucking believe you're into this kind of thing. You fucking foul cunt. Seriously - how do you get off on that? You need help.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:04, 212 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've got a window.
I'm fucking happy with that. Though I now have to move a shit load of stuff and put the rest of it in my van. But still, window.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:05, Reply)

I have been to the Tyne Bar for a few pints
I am now nomming a mature cheddar and chilli jam sammich
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:06, Reply)

And you said my post about black pudding made from menstrual remains was gross?
Fucking hell. Granny scat. Whatever next.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:07, Reply)

technically it's just Monty scat.
the granny is merely the teabaggee.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Wait and see.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:10, Reply)

Fried onion rings...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:12, Reply)

*waits and sees*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)

*hopes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I got my groove back.

([[Mod Edit]], Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:10, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:10, Reply)

Alt: I could happily eat dinner from the Indian Empress every single night.
Having tried every dish on the menu, I now have the chef trying new things out for me each time I visit. The man truly is a genius of a chef.

Altalt: Because I'm German.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Needs MOAR meat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)

It really doesn't
Indian chefs do vegetarianism far better than any other.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Epic phaal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:22, Reply)

10/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:15, Reply)

they do indeed
but it's still vegetarianism. It's like entering a 100m race and choosing to hop.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:27, Reply)

What can I say?
I lack competitive spirit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

haha. Well played sir, well played.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:30, Reply)

I've got my ability to type two-handed back. It's neither positive nor negative to be honest.

AltAlt: we cremated her last thursday, so good luck with that. Niche ash porn.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:11, Reply)

I don't know what I'm having for dinner,
I was going to have sausage and mash, but i had that yesterday.
What shall I cook, it needs to impress a girl.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Findus crispy pancakes.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:12, Reply)

I'm not a fan.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:13, Reply)

you can cook them in a toaster, though.
probably.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Apparently they aren't making the curry ones any more
We asked their customer services
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Make her the most unbearably hot curry imaginable
Then impress her with your ability to eat it without crying and ridicule her for not managing more than a mouthful.
Chicks love that sort of thing.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Meh, not in a Curry mood.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)

they do.
alternatively, just buy a load of ingredients and usher her into the kitchen when she gets there. Crack open a beer, sit down on the sofa and wait.

They LOVE that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)

She would like that,
but she cooks like an autism, cuts everything up and puts it on seperate plates before she even turns the hob on. I can't be dealing with it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Punch her in the tits
then go out with your mates.

They LOVE that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Particularly if you've dry fucked them up the ringpiece first.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

I thought this went without saying

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Excessive chilli is never a good idea in this sort of situation
Last thing you want is to scupper potential sexy times with genital burning mouths/hands
(Bedford, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)

aka 'Taco Bell' or 'Jalapenis'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Bell-end pepper

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:27, Reply)

You can't curry love.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, Reply)

No, you'll just have Kuwait

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Butternut squash and chilli soup

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)

I'm not trying to impress her with my ability to menstrate.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Menstrate?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Darth isn't

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Soup = gay
vegetarian soup = souper gay
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Vegetarian soup + chilli = not gay.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Actually, defending AA here
That is a cracking soup
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

For a gaybo

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)

True

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)

or as a starter maybe

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:42, Reply)

A bratwurst with two massive dumplings at one end, sprinkled with deep-fried onions for pubes.
Chicks love that shit - it shows you're sensitive and all that shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:16, Reply)

(URRRG)
repetition of 'shit'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)

Your specialist subject.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:20, Reply)

you now have 1 minute to tell us all about custody laws

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:22, Reply)

1. Don't stir another mans

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

(UUUURRR)
Deviation!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

That IS rule one of custard

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Repition! use of the same joke twice

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)

GTF

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:35, Reply)

3 minutes betweens posts?
Hesitation!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

for some reason girls like pasta and salad, do somethig with that

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)

1.99 Pasta salad from tesco
Sorted
(Bedford, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

oh bedford!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Alt: I'd love a mint glazed, slow roasted lamb shank
But I'm more likely to end up having left over sausage casserole :(
(Bedford, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)

mint has no place outside of dessert, Bedford.
Or a mohito.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:16, Reply)

I disagree, lamb & mint is a perfect combination

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, Reply)

my arse.
lamb with rosemary and garlic. If you wanted your lovely bit of lamb to be ruined by mint you'd feed sheep toothpaste
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)

hahahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Of Vietnamese food.
Or salad. Or on new potatoes.

Or loads of other places.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Salad isn't food, Monts. Salad is what food eats.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)

U R Armin Meiwes AICMFP

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:22, Reply)

I dunno who the fuck Armin Meiwes is
but I can tell you that line's been around for fucking years.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

ah, now googled.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Who are you, then?
(NB a reply of 'Bedford' would be shit)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, Reply)

An ex-lurker
Or 'not Bert', pick one
(Bedford, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Good man.
On both counts. Pleased to meet you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Afternoon, Notbertford
Nice to see somebody new posting.
( Kroney, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Haha
A simple but effective subversion of a username.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

A simple burger would do nicely chief

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)

Alt: fajitas.
And, indeed, that's what I'm going to have tonight.

I got a tax rebate a few months ago as I'd been paying the wrong rate for three years before anyone noticed. That was nice.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, Reply)

I got a relatively respectful hair colour back yesterday
And I've got the ability to take my dog for walks back now I'm home. Just got in from a two hour one, she's now conked out in the garden. I might join her.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Needs MOAR beer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)

I'm waiting for my mate to finish an assignment (who does an assignment when they're back home?!)
so we can go to la pub.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)

OK, I'll allow this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Fucking hell my building manager is weird.
When I went to sign the new contract for my office she started telling me how she couldn't sleep last night because she was so hungry as she was on a diet.

I think I've also been busted for torrenting stuff in the office. Apparently I use more bandwidth and download more stuff than anyone in the building.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Terrible Horse Porn will always bite you on the arse in the end, al.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

there's an ass to mouth joke to be made here
I'm disappointed in all of you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 16:38, Reply)

i dunno if i got my girlfriend back, just waiting for confirmation really
alt i got me some badass kickin' lasagna, b-boii

alt alt - i can't help it, the woman has olive skin like a dry country path, its like she's a vagina all over
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

You're not even allowed to tell muslims that they need a drink to cheer them up.
PC GONE MAD
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

You can't suggest people can get a promotion if they sleep with you.
This is an eye opening course.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Asian men are legally allowed to ask white women out.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:35, Reply)

There may be efficiency issues here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Sounds more disappointing than eye opening.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

FFS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:27, Reply)

I was appreciative when renowned adventurer J Timberlake brought sexy back a few years ago.
Before then, life was miserable. Ugly birds everywhere.
( Kroney, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:31, Reply)

I've just got back to my desk after a team pub lunch
Four pints in an hour and a half. I predict great things from my productivity this afternoon.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Oh so now you are trying to wash your hands of your earlier accusations.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:53, Reply)

No, I stand by them
And you're about as likely to get an apology out of me as the nation is to eke a decent joke out of James Corden
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

You're wrong, and I'm looking forward to rubbing it in your big gay face.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

AHAHA!
You've unfriended me on facebook!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Of course I bloody have
You've made it very apparent that you can't be trusted with access to photos which I consider to be for friends' eyes only
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:06, Reply)

You do realise that you haven't restricted access to your photos.
Now, if I was a real prick I would a) not have told you that and b) have been posting a lot more pictures of you right now. But I'm not, so you can have that bit of advice for nothing.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Your previous in this respect is not good
Yesterday you posted a pic which I had already asked you once not to share. In an earlier thread you claimed that by posting pics of myself on b3ta I'd let myself in for whatever abuse you chose to dole out, until Kroney pointed out the difference between posting on here and posting on FB. You wouldn't post loads of pics of my from my FB cos you'd get stepped for doing so without my permission. And I'll be barring you from my FB as soon as I get home, can't do it on my phone.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

No, I said that by posting pictures of yourself on b3ta you couldn't really object to someone posting a picture of your face.
Something which I never actually did, I posted a picture of your hair, since I realise that people don't really like having other people posting pictures of their faces on b3ta. Hence why I don't do it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:19, Reply)

That is the flimsiest argument I've ever heard
You're only making yourself look more of a twat by arguing a case which is already lost
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Do you really have so much trouble understanding why somebody might have a problem
with you posting pictures of them on a website with the express intention of setting him up to be mocked?

I know this is nothing to do with me, but I'm really struggling to understand your position, here.
( Kroney, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

I actually took the photo down once he pointed out that he had already asked me to do so once.
I had actually forgotten about his previous request, and so I apologised.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Which I appreciated
But you can hardly stand by your earlier argument in light of this behaviour
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Of course I can.
If you voluntarily put up a load of photos of who you are and what you like doing on this website and somebody links to them then it's entirely your own fault. However, as I've already said, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me, so I don't do it to other people. What I have done is put up heavily altered photos so that anyone who saw them wouldn't be able to identify them. The photos are posted as a joke and if someone was to post a similar photo of me with my eyes made massive and googly and a big cock covering my face then I would probably find it quite funny.

For example:

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:35, Reply)

That is DG!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Is it bollocks!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Certainly looks like them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:59, Reply)

No it's a photo of Al. I think he's done that to make a point. What that point is I don't know.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Right, right
So if, when calling me a stupid haired bumsexualist, you posted a "heavily altered" pic of me which was only accessible to my FB friends, NOT every user of this website, clearly indicating that it was me albeit with LOLarious paint pics over my face, even though you'd done so before and I'd asked you once to take it down... that would be just fine?

I realise that certain people - "cunts", I think they're known as - can't admit when they're wrong, but you'd do much better to cut your losses and bow out at this point. I'm sure your standing on b3ta could slip another notch or two if you REALLY try, but SpankyHanky will be annoyed if you take away his "most reviled" trophy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:40, Reply)

Well, in answer to your first point
and at the risk of repeating myself, I took the picture down as soon as you asked, because I had genuinely forgotten that you'd already asked me to do that, and I apologised. So, that to me looks very much like me admitting that the picture yesterday was wrong on my part.

And that last part addresses the second part of your post.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Can you at least accept why I've defriended you on FB? And that it's entirely your fault?
The worst part is that you're perfectly capable of being a really nice guy, but when the opportunity to appear cool and popular on a fucking internet forum presents itself you become a dickhead
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Of course I know why you defriended me on facebook. You've taken the interent very seriously and got upset.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Hahaha
You're just like Plumdozer really
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 16:03, Reply)

So is Al a prick?



( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:45, Reply)

You should have got it to display numbers of votes rather than just percentages.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Oh man, I shot myself in the foot by voting yes.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 16:00, Reply)

thing is
it's someone who can spell and who has a fairly decent grasp on grammar

which knocks out quite a few of the obvious suspects
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Plus, you know, someone who steals names needs to be a prick

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

well yeah
but come on, that isn't going to narrow it down around here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)

I managed 3 but it was a hike to the pub

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Tinny on the way next time
Think big, cow
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Meh
Cracking walk along the quayside in the sun looking at tits
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Re your sig: yes, let's have a vote.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Thread it up baby

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Have you two considered setting up an "I take the internet VERY seriously" group on facebook?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)

That's a great idea. Ta.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:15, Reply)

Yeah, your advice on How To Deal With The Internet As Social Interaction is well-respected
I also like Liam Gallagher's book on not being a cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

DONE
https://www.facebook.com/ITakeTheInternetTooSeriously
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:19, Reply)

A cd i lent someone years ago, one of my favourite of all time, and one which I've never been able to find anywhere.
"Baron Von Tollbooth and the Chrome Nun", if anyone is remotely interested. Welcome? Too right mate.
Being Northern, I've had dinner, and am awaiting tea.
I don't, particularly. Well...
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:38, Reply)

That's an Airplane offshoot isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Jefferson?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Indeed
I seem to recall that the Chrome Nun was the producer's nickname for Grace Slick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Surely you can't be serious

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Hahahha that took me a minute.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:47, Reply)

most men don't take that long
i'd see it as a positive
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)

That's just most men.
*smutty wink*
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)

*internet is crushed by falling bamboo*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Yes, a thing of total beauty.
Up there with "Blows against The Empire".
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I've got to say who are the worst drivers
Scotish people, women, or Jamaicans.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, Reply)

It's a trick question - the answer is 'Pakis'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:48, Reply)

I put women and it said "congratulations you're correct"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)

The welsh.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Scottish women of Jamaican decent who are married to Pakis.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:51, Reply)

that has put a very confused accent in my head
my friend was telling us that his new gf is half jewish, half irish. simultaneously i said: wow, she sounds exotic and my brother said: so ginger and nicks your guinness then?

he's going to hell.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)

All she needs is a touch of dyslexia and then she'll have no problem getting a council house.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:00, Reply)

i read that as council horse then
i blame tangledupinpink and all his talk of classy horse porn
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:03, Reply)

It's all this talk of paddies.
They fucking LOVE horses. Literally.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

And probably love fucking horses.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Not acceptable to have a laugh at someone elses expense.
miserable cunts.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

ha ha ha
I'm not allowed to say "your kind of people" over email
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Even if you are emailing Barrymore?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

i'm off to the pub shortly
dinner - i'm going round to a mate's. i'm having spicy feta and toasted pittas. they are having some meat shit.

meh, i'm sure i've got worse shag flashbacks than your alt alt. the one who LEFT HIS GLASSES ON during, for example. shudder.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

so you're having a cheese sandwich?

(Bedford, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)

hang on
there's a few of my chips you didn't piss on over here, i'll just turn the plate round...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Hahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

chompy
OnO
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)

i don't "chomp" when i eat my feta
i have some semblance of manners, you know. i keep my mouth closed and everything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)

hey man, i ain't dissing the way you eat eat greek cheese

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)

good
actually if you were serious about working anywhere near kensington, you should totally go to this greek place one night, the food fucking ROCKS (my friend is treating us to takeaways, because apparently cooking is "too much effort"). i sent berk there and she loved it too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

whats it called?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Greek food

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

things can only get feta
would have been good
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Have another little pitta ma heart now baby

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)

LTI

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:10, Reply)

Oh man,
epic falafel
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:10, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

as greek as it gets
it's about 3 mins' walk from earls court tube (the earls court road side), fucking brilliant it is.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

it's called "as greek as it gets" ?
Does that mean the door to the blokes leads you to a hillside where you must bugger teenage boys?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:10, Reply)

Only if you tip the waiter.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:12, Reply)

we asked him about that once, well not quite that specifically
his response? "darling, we invented it. but not me. i am real man."

we laughed a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:13, Reply)

yeah, but in Greece, real men fuck goats
So I'm not sure he's helping himself there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)

*stops eating goat's cheese*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:19, Reply)

what, like you hadn't noticed the taste before?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

I thought it was familiar

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:25, Reply)

How can you invent it?
I'm sure dinosaurs had bum sex.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Yeah, fucking hiplodocus

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Oh, man.
Imaginary reptiles whose fossils exist purely to test us, doing each other up the bot-bot. If we're really lucky, Rick Santorum's head has just exploded.

Or he's wanked himself into a coma, which is more likely.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Did he leave his socks on too?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:02, Reply)

What's wrong with that?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

In a toe-curlingly bad mistake, she left her tights on.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:06, Reply)

He thought it was her hymen, not the crotch of her tights.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Springy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Just cut a hole in them with the office scissors,
whilst she's over the copier.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:11, Reply)

meh
I can't be bothered to thrust
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

no
but he refused the offer of a shower in the morning. which i thought was singularly gross after the preceding activities.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

*sings*
I'm the scatman!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Hahahahaha.
That made me laugh, ty.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

while I can see the issue
I think, on balance, that leaving glasses on probably isn't worse than dipping his tezzers in your granny's gob whilst shitting on the coffee table.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

or you know, not being able to see and putting things in the wrong place

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

It'd be a hell of an excuse, certainly.
"aarrrggh .. why were you fucking my sister?"

" well, you made me take my glasses off so I couldn't see.."
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

or even...
"arrrrrgh.. why were you fucking your own sister?"

BERTLOLS
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Worst of the olive oil based spreads.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)

I can't believe its not my sister

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)

hahahahahaha
big round of applause
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

oh, I say.
*cricket applause*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

I DEMAND you drink every lunchtime from now on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:31, Reply)

OK boss

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:34, Reply)

I can't believe it's frowned upon in all cultures

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Oh, jolly good show.
Here, have a glass of paedo grigio.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:48, Reply)

I heard he tried to use the excuse that he was exercising naked when he turned around
and tripped and fell and his sister was stretching her adductor longus at the time whilst also naked and it was all just a terrible misunderstanding.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

like the vicar with the potato up his arse in A&E the other week?
"i was hanging curtains naked in my kitchen and i slipped and landed on it and it got itself all lubed up and wedged itself right up my barking spider"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Nonsense, he just chipped and fell on it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

you're on a roll wiht a side of 'slaw

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Once again, LTI.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)

That is the hat-trick
I'm off ladies and gentleman!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:22, Reply)

you don't KNOW, man
you weren't THERE
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)

well, obviously.
since I don't wear glasses.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)

which is just one reason why i am sure you are a billion times better in bed than this chuffmonster would ever have been!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:09, Reply)