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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Even though I have loads of work to do, I love a good skive. I mean, you are reading this, and are hardly working are you?
So what do you love doing, when you should be doing something else?

Alt: Easter, too chocolatey or too naily for your likeing?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Drinking beer when I should be doing domestic stuff*
*not right now obviously

Alt: Too boring.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:53, Reply)
This will probably be how my weekend ends up too.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
I will be moving house, 40yrds down the road
this sounds good, bit means I'll have to carry everything 40yrds, rather than rocking up outside in a van
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
This has ocured to me, just moving downthe road to a better house.
I'd still get the movers in though, my back couldn't take the lifting.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I cannae afford it really
got dad and in-law dad up to help. It's less the moving that will take time, more the dismanteling and rebuilding of furniture.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
I'm running my stuff down at the moment.
When I move, I'll have a small van and a large skip.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:10, Reply)
Oh man, I once moved from a forth floor no lift place to about 250m down the road and up to first floor.
That was fun, considering I owned all my furniture.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
You should have chopped it in to pieces and got one of those shute things.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
i once put a bucket tied to a rope out the window with some money in.
Then a friend who was leaving put some KFC in it and i pulled it up.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Once I'm ensconsed in the sofa watching crap TV, I find it very hard to leave
Alt: Needs MOAR bank holidays
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Morning
I have nothing to add, just thought I'd say hello.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:58, Reply)
I was in Bristol on Sunday. Driving around town was pretty shit.
So I'm coming down by train to Jeffstock.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
You need to know your way about to drive through bristol

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Local roads
For local people.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I was using an ordnance survey map which was 1982 vintage.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
A b&b I was considering visiting had on it's contact page an OS reference but no postcode

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
I deffo go there then.
Do sat navs work by grid reference?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
no
they only work by ramblers
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Hello!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Morning Bartleby
Fucking hell, I'm knackered.

Usually, I'd say I like drinking in my garden when I should be cooking, but now all I want to do is sleep.

Alt: Haven't bothered with it in years tbh.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Morning AA.
Who cares if you are knackered now, have 4 days off in a couple of days time.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
This is my last day, not back in the office until next thursday

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Yes, but you'll be working your arse off moving, sucka.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Can you dig that?!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I can really.
I'd love to move to be nearer work and GF.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
This is true

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Unrelated to the OP
Just wondering if any Facebook users could find the page for The Apple, Bristol.

I'm hoping its been updated with 'What's on' for the 21st of this month.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
nope

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
I got introduced to..
www.plug.dj last week and it's been quite the time waster. You basically set up a playlist of songs from youtube and queue up to get a turn djing it to the crowd. If they like your choice they start dancing if not you get booted off.

Alt: Too chocolatey, I'm looking forward to the nice big leg of lamb I'll be cooking.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
that sounds really shit, bill clay

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
*deletes account*
*kills self*
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Play nicely children.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
GOOD MORNING

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Good Morning Quinten.
*chokes*
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
believe in yourself

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I do believe in myself Quinten.
Its believing in you that's the problem.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
hahaha

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
believe in me baby, and we can go all the way
you and me baby, if we believe in each other, maybe we can flyyyyyyyyy
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Yes, do that.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Oh wow, I didn't know about the .dj domain

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I love having a sneaky smoke or nipping for a crafty pint when I'm supposed to be doing something else
For full enjoyment they need to remain undetected. I suppose I never really got over being a naughty schoolboy getting one over on the teachers...

Alt: Far far too chocolatey - My wife, her sister and her mother always buy far more chocolate eggs for my son than he will ever eat. Then I put them in a cupboard where they sit for the next six months or so and then when the Mrs has a female-related chocolate craving I dish them out to her.
I quite like nailing purportedly magic Jews to bits of wood though.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I pissed myself laughing on the tube this morning
and got some disgusted looks as a result, because I was reading about that boy who murdered and torched his mum (who looked a bit like Becky JSBX might do in a few years, I thought) - apparently concerns were raised a few months prior to the murder bcause of an incident where he was shouting at his tie, accusing it of trying to hurt him. I haven't laughed so hard since I read the script of 'Richard McBeef'*.

*if you haven't read this theatrical tour de force I urge you to.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
I would shout at my tie, but my chins get in the way.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Take it off first, Bart.
There's always a solution if you look hard enough.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
he can't take it off he hasn't said the safety word

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Damnit, you have a solution for everything.
I just downloaded the script, should be a giggle reading it tonight.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
caught up on homeland from Sunday night last night
it really is very good
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Is it as good as 'The Great Grape Ape', NakedApe?
Thought not.

Singapore noodle review please.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Wife had migrane, got takeaway. Sorry to dissapoint
if it's any consolatopn the spicy noodles I had have punished me this morning
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
I'm going to Needoo's tonight
which should make for a 'challenging' morning tomorrow.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
+ to scavenge through their bins for scraps

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Monty has always been an advocate of freeganism

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I am not lazy.
I am reading this while on the toilet.

Hope this helps. Xxxx
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Remind me not to borrow your phone, ever.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
'I'm just downloading'

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
*kroney*
'I'm just uploading'
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
The phrase is 'brownloading'. Tsk.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
'you brownload if you want to, the lady's not for brownloading'

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Bartles, you're a man in the know
Who's the chap batting at 3 for Sri Lanka, and what have they done with Kumar Sangakkara?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
What's the score?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
163-4 for Sri Lanka
This is all I know.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
100 runs and 1 wicket...poor old jimmy, he really does have to do everything

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Sanga's on a King Pair again
In fairness, it was reported to be an absolute snorter of a ball from Jimmy. We've let them off the hook again, they were 30-3
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
What on earth does any of that mean?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
he's calling you a cunt

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
It's a fair comment
Although why he had to dress it up in all that flowery language is beyond me.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Fucked if I know, they all look alike to me.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Alt: I think the real message of Easter* is being missed by many these days.
*the pulling off of the greatest PR/marketing scam of all time. The upper echelons of a fledgling new cult suddenly find themselves unemployed with the execution of their leader. In a breathtaking meisterwerk of spin, these fuckers manage to keep their positions by convincing people that

1) rather than the execution of their leader being clear evidence that the cunt was clearly mortal and the game is therefore up, he in fact deliberately got killed as part of his genius plan to save everyone
2) heís not really dead Ė we saw him, honest, he told us to keep up the good work and then ascended into heaven, take our word for it, we were there

Whichever of them came up with that as a strategy is a genius. I bet they couldnít fucking believe it when people actually swallowed it. Brilliant.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:48, Reply)
See you in church on Sunday then.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Easter wouldn't be Easter without my loudly pissing in the font during the collection.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I prefer to take a dump on the altar myself.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I believe it was max Clifford

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
R Kelly's PR-themed etc.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Of all the disciples who could have thought this up, I doubt it was Thomas
I bet Judas said he was going to let on though.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Divinity-lolz

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Weakest of all the lolz

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
truely
I feel very awkward about indoctrinating children into a certain religeon
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I was mightily relieved
when my ex and I agreed that lying about faith for the benefit of our daughter's school choices was something we felt we could not do. When I found my kid crossing herself (she goes to a Catholic preschool) a genuine chill ran up my spine. Fuck that shit - I refuse to pretend I believe in that hogwash.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
They will probably already have told her that God loves her more than mummy and daddy do.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
I am of the opinion that religious people are either
a) the most gullible and stupid unquestioning brainwashing victims of all time - whose beliefs based on nothing whatsoever make them clearly so dense they should under no circumstances be educating children or
b) cynical liars
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
C) feeble minded and scared to believe that they are all alone and so push their reason to the side to feel some 'comfort'

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Either way, keep away from my child, thank you.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
see i thought about this last night
and i agree but then you hit a problem; try telling this to someone who has lost someone they care about

a dead mother, father, borother, sister, close friend or partner, and suddenly you're destroying someones (clearly stupid) belief that that person still exists and went on to a better place
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
They need to be disabused of this nonsense.
Comforting it may be - but clearly bollocks and they need to deal with it.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
true but i'm not gonna be the one to shatter those illusions

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Which is why Existential Nihilism should be on the school curriculum.
The earlier the better.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
I am more than happy to do that.
In fact I consider it my duty to do so wherever possible.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)
go ahead then, tell your son that there is no heaven and no hell, and that when you die there is nothing

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Why the fuck not?
It's most likely the truth. I think that being freed from the notion that you are anything other than an insignificant speck is liberating, personally. Once you grasp that, you can see that nothing really matters.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Stop quoting Queen lyrics.
Thank you.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I wouldn't know, mate, sorry.
I'm not the keen Mercury follower you seem to be.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)
you won't be saying that when he has to bury his first hamster/cat/dog/mum

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Upon my honour I will.
I will focus on the 'they cannot feel pain any more' angle.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
erm excuse me but i don't think you should be slagging off anyones prophets
i mean, who would fiddle with all our little catholic schoolboys if it wasn't for jesus?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I'm sure you would man up

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
i bet you'd look great in britches

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
This is an excellent point
And one which I shall be including as part of my discrediting Christianity campaign I have been forced into starting for my son, to counter the nonsense they fill him with at school.
I may use fewer expletives though.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
You shouldn't have been a pushy parent and sent him to a church school.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
It is not a church school.
This is why I can't understand all the Jesus nonsense that is on the curriculum.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Don't worry, next term will be about Mohamed.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
In the interest of balance I think they should learn about atheism too.
and I don't mind if they learn about other religions as well.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
When we were children
it was the fucking law that all schools had to have a Christian-themed assembly every day. At least things have moved on a little since then. Thanks, immigrants. For this, and for your lovely takeaways, if nothing else.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Thankfully my secondary school was such a lefty place that they did not adhere strictly to this
Their one concession was to allow some god botherers in once a year to spout some nonsense.
Is this no longer law then?
I recently discovered that the local priest gives regular assemblies at my son's school and we were invited to a "pop connection" concert at the school which turned out to be a load of "uplifting" songs taught to the kids by some fucking Jesus-by-stealth practitioners.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
They changed the law a few years back.
To avoid upsetting the Muzzers etc.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)
HI!
ITS ME! HIIIIIIIII!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
HHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Good day, PhillieJoe.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
What's so good about it?
WELL!?!!!!!!!!!!!!111
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:08, Reply)
You're here.
Now the REAL FUN can begin!!!!!!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
are you drunk?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Drunk? At this hour? On a work day?
Are you mad?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
aw man drinking to forget the pain of your failing marriage :((((

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Is that what you did?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
still do man, some wounds run deep

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Actually things seem much better this week.
Its lovely that you care though. Because of you Quentin I have actually been able to sleep despite the harsh times.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Why don't you outline your marriage difficulties here and we'll all endevour to help?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Ok!
The main problem is her sister is better in bed than her.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
glad to help
i'm not the official b3ta counsellor for nothing
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Oh lordy, I'm so tried, that I'm struggling to keep both eyes open.
Proper fatigueing right here, I'm goona wash my face and get into work.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
i have a cold

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I done lolz
www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/ross-kemp-folded/
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
welcome to 2011

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
You're just jealous
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/There-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
this is the only DM article where the comments actually make some sense
she is well below average looking...what a mental
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Yeh my Missus is better looking than her
and she doesn't get any free stuff. Well not that I know of, Wait.... BITCH!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I don't charge her
i hope this helps
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
This is a big help
Because I'm pretty broke
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Hahahaha
What a stupid bitch, plus, not even a good looking one.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I used to work with a guy who looks just like her.
Honest.

beta.xfire.com/profile/ypmud/
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Hi Chompy. I found I have 6 large spring topped bottles under my sink.
Do you want them?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Oh yeah, umm dunno how to get them though,
how much are those sort of things to post?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Your only in MK, I'm up that way on Saturday.
Doing some meat shopping.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Ah cool, meet up for a pint or something?
Where are you meat shopping?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Oceana's

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
see you there!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Ha, it's shut down unfortunatly, I was hoping to go there on A level results night.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
pedo

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Jello

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
I go here
www.evansbutchers.co.uk/
It is between Bedford and the M1. I'll probably be finished there about 11:30am.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
My parents go there occasionally good butchers,
gaz me later in the week and we'll arrange a dodgy looking delivery of parcels.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Will do.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I used to work with a guy who looks just like that first picture.
Honest.

beta.xfire.com/profile/ypmud/
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
oh he looks like great fun

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
He's a know it all cunt
which is why he no longer works here. That and he got 9 complaints in one week whereas I have none in 5 years
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
No lolz from me. Soz.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Read the daily mail link.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Easter is fucking great
because the shops shut and I can't get any milk because cunts panic buy 5234897 pints to last them the 1 FUCKING DAY that the shops are shut for and its a fucking Sunday anyway when the shops should be shut.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
If you didn't live in fucking carrot land this wouldn't be a problem for you.
Within five minutes of my flat I can get FUCKING BOOZE, let alone fucking milk, 24hrs a day, every day of the year. Allah u akhbar.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
I'm going to panic buy booze

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
you should panic consume it as well

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
I currently have 3 gallons of High Strength wine
Bubbling away in my kitchen. People say home made wine tastes shit but why would I care. Its cheaper than meths!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Scarpe?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I'm far uglier

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Hmmm chipping away at the fragile self confidence of a recovering alcoholic might have adverse consequences

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Best left to an expert like you eh?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Nah Scarpos cool in a comic book obsessive Peter Chapman doppelganger kindof way

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Did you use a kit or grapes or what?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:33, Reply)
He's boiling up tramp piss.He's been round collecting donations every evening for a month to get to the required quantity.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I used grapes for the first gallon which has come out rose tastes like an acceptable Zinfandel
and is clear and ready to be bottled. The other 2 Gallons are Violet wine and the kitchen smells lovely.

Kit? Are you mad? They cost money!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
It's still like £20 for 30 bottles, I think that's fairly cheap.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
My brother is making a kit of 'Barolo'
which was about £20 but I don't know the yield.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I think they're usually 20-30 bottles.
I found an excellent way to warm my beer up.
a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/538309_10150913335868625_783978624_12942584_1278684697_n.jpg
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:45, Reply)
with a tramp's jumper?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
It's my farmers jumper
I wear it while hiking and at festivals and other hilariously middle class persuits.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:48, Reply)
You have your own farmer?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
No I killed one and took his clothes
OBVIOUSLY
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Home brewed wine is evil.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)
OMG WE@RE HEADPHONE TWINS !!!11!!!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)
eet's got nowt on stout

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Not a fan of stout tbh

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
NO FAT CHIX

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
In what way?
The blackberry my workmate made was lovely
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
An ex-housemate used to brew it
The hangovers it gave were unmerciless. Granted, I may have overdone it somewhat to cause them...
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Wine made from smartphones. No thanks.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Oh you fucker
I had a mouthfull of tea!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:57, Reply)
unless you are very good at it
it will make your house stink and it will make you look like a cheap-ass twat when you try to palm it off on your friends instead of bringing a decent bottle/6pack like normal people
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
My house smells like Voilets at the moment which is nice
And its not for other people its for me. My friends can fuck right off!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Voilets? Oo arr.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Oigh picked um moiself!

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
i wish this hadn't made me laugh
you pair of bastards
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
reading is the thing that makes me late for everything
just one more chapter...
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Jckie Collins loves a cliffhanger
in other news there is a new killing Joke album out!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
don't be so fucking patronising, i don't read jackie collins
i just need to know what peter and jane did next
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
fucked

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
what scaryass books did your parents buy you as a child?

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
"The big book of Scary Asses"

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
The BUMper book of Arse
HAHAHAHAHA
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


WHO'S IT BY? VIRIGNIA BOTTOMLEY????"!!!!!!111!ZXXX!!!!!!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
i'm prettier sure she most wrote romantic ficiton
nice try tho
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
yeah right
like kroney's arse is a virgin
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND, SOMEBODY GET MY MUM

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
always with the mum jokes

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
I have been buying myself presents.
I have two new history books, a new mouse for my home PC AND I'm wearing my new cologne. I am fully expecting to be draped in clunge any minute.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Which history books?
Re: cologne: I'm telling you man, Czech and Speake's No.88 is de fockin best.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Sam Willis' Hearts of Oak books.
About the Temeraire, Admiral Benbow and the Glorious First of June, respectively.

This cologne is so good I kind of want to have sex with myself.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I don't know those.
Do let me know if they're any good, please.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
'Are you there God? It's me, Margaret'

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Mwahahaha they guys at work found out that in three weeks I am having my genitals mutilated
and have made me a Vasectomy CD. First Track . AC-DC - Big Balls
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Also featuring:
The First Cut is the Deepest
Iím Not The Man I Used to Be
(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Anything by the Scissor Sisters

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Echo and the Bunnymen's 'The Cutter'

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Anything by The Orb

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Or The Tubes.

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
suddenly i'm not half the man i used to be...

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
The OST from "The Sopranos"

(, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)

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