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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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EPICALLY THRILLING LATE MORNING THREAD.
Not really.

Tell Chompy about your favourite band and why you love them so.

OR

Tell us three good and three bad things about your current existence

ORRRRR

Don't.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:08, 237 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Can I talk about the fact I have no running water at the moment
I can only turn it on briefly, I had a cold shower last night and afterwards I was so cold I had to hide under my duvet.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Me, wet, naked and shivering,
think about it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
DOWN, BOY!
I now have a major bone-on.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Then I went to a bbq and ate burgers and then I came home.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Now I am less hard.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
You're just upset it wasn't your hot meat in his mouth.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
That's rather poor.
Unlucky. Any idea
a) what the problem is or
b) how long it'll be out for?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Boiler is fucked, heat exchange coil is leaking so it just pisses water out the waste.
There's one on order but easter has slowed everything down.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Damn those Christians and their egg-based celebrations.
PS I've not seen you for fucking ages. Come to London for some lollity.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
mIGHT BE DOWN ON THE 21ST TOO LATE TO TURN CAPS OFF!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
But yeah planning to meet some uni mates on the 21st,
not sure what we're doing yet but I'll let you know.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Aight.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
everybody else will be at Jeffstock though

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Oh well, another time.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
That is fucking hideous
I've had that happen a few times, absolutely horrific.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Favourite band, for arguments sake, is Metallica
Whilst they've done some stuff that isn't exactly amazing (St Anger, Lulu, etc) this is easily balanced out by the great albums (Master Of Puppets, Metallica, etc). Still the best band I've ever seen live, although not the best performance anymore. That still goes to Slipknot at last year's Sonisphere.

3 good - Lasagne for lunch, I had marmite on toast for breakfast, and I'm seeing my friends tonight
3 bad - Whilst I'd like to get pissed tonight, I know that I can't really afford it. I've got an argument with the bank coming up this weekend, and I've run out of Diet Coke.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
They're shit.

Hope this helps.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
I disagree.

Hope this helps
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
I agree with AA.

Hope this helps.

Cheers.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I agree with Monty
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIf3b6meriM Hope this helps...
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Good lad.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
I think he was aiming more at Metallica than Slipknot
Also, I'm not much of a Slipknot fan, but that performance last year was absolutely incredible.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I think Metallica could have been held in higher regard
If they had all been killed in that bus crash.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Maybe so
But I tend to look at anyone who goes off a band because they 'sold out' as being mentally subnormal.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
that's a very metalhead thing to do
i know SO man othwerwise sound people who have this weird 'more than ten fans/a name you can read that doesn't mention cattle mutilation= sellout' attitude.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
You liked Papa Roach before they got famous

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
Very much so
I was a little disappointed when Seasick Steve added a drummer to his setup, as I quite liked it when it was just him, the guitar, and the box.

However, I understood it. A friend of mine heard someone swear off him, as he 'wasn't as good as he used to be'.

Fucking idiots.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
I don't like Bonnie Prince Billy's last couple of albums as they are too accessible.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)

been killed in that bus crash chosen careers unrelated to music. And also if they deleted their accounts and killed themselves.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
I just had to slip that vid' in somewhere
But I've never been able to understand the amount of hype around Metallica, like most things I might have enjoyed them more if everyone didn't criticise me for not enjoying it s'much in the first place
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
That's fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Their inherent shitness rather gets in the way of my enjoyment of them, too.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
I agree with Monty.
The best thing they ever did was get sampled by DJ Shadow on The Number Song.

Hope this helps xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Again, I disagree.

Hope this helps
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
I disagree with your disagreement.
Hope this helps.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
I'm not talking about my favourite bands on here
One of you tasteless cunts always crucifies me for it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Fuck that shit, yo.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
That reminds me
must nag Labs about getting a ticket for the gig
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Primus
I can't pick a favourite, but they've been in the running for the longest certainly. THPS2 - Jerry Was a Racecar Driver - sweet innocent youth. My inspiration to pick up the bass and give it a slap from time to time
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I am rather a fan of 'Tommy The Cat'

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Strangely these 2 tracks are the only decent ones they've ever done
The rest is a colossal pile of shit.

Morning everyone.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Primus Ike Turner
bass missus
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
He was fucking brilliant, was Ike Turner.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
He has a reasonably legitimate claim to releasing the first ever rock n roll record.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
He doesn't, really.
I also thought this was the case until I read an excellent book wot was given to me by Comrade Q late of this parish.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
I'd like to read that
I'm aware there are several records which could make this claim.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I'll let you know the title, brilliant book.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
I know nowt about him
But listening to Tina Turner makes me want to slap her more than lsitening to him probably would
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
She was excellent until she split up with Ike.
That brother beat some good tunes out of her.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
It's often the best way
Have you heard any good Ronnie Spector records since Phil unlocked the front door?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
S'troo that
If only that worked with that rihanna bint
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
I am a fan of Rihanna.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
3 good and 3 bad:
Good: new job, higher pay
Good: got confirmation today that I will be getting the flat I wanted which is a load off my mind
Good: it's less than 5 minutes from Needoos

Bad: moving away from the area I've lived in my whole life
Bad: haven't actually done anything constructive about moving yet
Bad: something Gonz said makes me think i'm going to be stabbed and burgled constantly
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Was the thing Gonz said "so you're moving to London"?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I can't remember exactly
Something about it being an alright area but not for living in
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
Gonz is a poof.
I've got much more shit in Winchester than I ever have in London.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
I shall tell potential criminals I know you
That'll send them packing.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
I always found it mildly odd that I was jumped in one of the nicest roads in Ormskirk, yet could walk around the roughtest estates of Skem without an issue

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
You're making those places up.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
The fact that there are 'nice' and 'rough' areas?
Or the towns themselves?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
People never believe me when I say I felt perfectly safe wandering round Glasgow at there in the morning, alone
But I won't go into weston after dark. It's full of mentals.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
In rougher areas people are sometimes more wary
because they don't know who they're potentially fucking with.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Like Blade?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
The British hip hop artist?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Nope, it's from 'FILM'!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
it was pretty dire
I'd actually read a couple of the original stories from the 70s in some old horror magazines so I may be biased.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I don't have a favourite band
I love too many bands across too many genres to be able to compare one with another. I guess I love all my children just the same.

I was surprised to learn last week that Chompy is "really into" Pavement. I though he shied away from opinions on music.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
+crawling

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I'm not talking about my favourite bands on here.
I can't be arsed arguing over something so subjective.

OR

Good: 1) We have running water again 2) The waste disposal unit is fixed 3) I'm off work in Edinburgh watching a birdy on my birdfeeder.
Bad: 1) I have a laundry backlog 2)I have a headache 3) The weather has taken a nosedive so I'm waiting for the sun.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Well, look who it is!
You all internetted up now?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Yo!
Had internet for yonks, just not on it much these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Well, don't worry about us.
It's not like we care whether you're alive or anything.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Stop whinging or I'll leave again

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Ooooooo

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Why have you forsaken us?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Probably too busy with all the free sex on tap now.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
STOP MOCKING MY BOILER MISERY

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I feel your boiler misery.
When I lived in my little flat,i had a pre cambrian boiler with a pilot light that went out recreationally. Kept waking up to a freezing flat, and with no shower,i had to fill a bath with kettle water.

*shivers*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
I've had enough of that needy shit off b3th.
It's shit here and I'm busy with my new home an ting.
I admire you for trying to keep it afloat.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Thanks, I'm like Atlas, holding the world on my shoulders.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Haha I just pictured Charlie Atlas in his leopard knickers

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)

world heavens
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
I KNEW you weren't dead.
Everyone on here owes me a tenner.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
Judging byy the level of activity here nowadays
that's not many tenners mate.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Hey, thirty quid's thirty quid.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Shame you already owe everyone on here £20

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
I know.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
*plumbingempathy*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
*body odour five*

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Well, we could switch it on for the duration of a quick shower,
but any more than that and the little glass I'd wedged under the pipe would over flow. Then the stopcock got all leaky because it didn't like getting fiddled with.
Fixed now.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
I can't even do that,
I'd have to leave it on overnight pissing water out the run off before getting about half a lukewarm shower.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Bastard

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Why are you bingeing on plums?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Bad: Panicking about the repayments on my credit card
Good: Turned out I was "calculating" the monthly payments by assuming that the APR was the monthly repayment percentage. What a cock.

I have the mathematical ability of a rather dense chimp.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
I am not in a position to judge you, here.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I have the musical taste of a fourteen year old
So I'm not going to suffer further humiliation by going into detail.

Good: had a telephone interview that went well, I slept in, I haven't put any weight back on even though I've had a bit of a pig out this week.
Bad: I've got a bastard of a headache, I appear to be unemployable, and my book on illustrator that I ordered still hasn't shown up yet.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
They're talking on the telly now how they chuck old people at past 10 o'clock from hospitals to make up more spare beds.
One person called to say his grandad waited in the A&E lobby 'till 7 in the morning 'cus he got discharged at 2 in the morning and didn't want to wake anyone else.Then another one got thrown out at 11, wondered the streets a bit, collapsed due to confusion (their words) then someone got them in an ambulance back to hospital.

And now on the telly, a lady with depression went to a locum doctor, who then consulted another doctor, who contacted social services, who meet a 'mental health profesional' who assessed the origional girl, and they took her kid away. All this with the depressed mum only meeting the origional locum for 10 minutes.

Apparently it's something that goes on a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
You need to stop watchung that rubbish, Gonz.
It'll rot your head.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
At least it'll match his guts

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
At least it'll match YOUR FACE.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
You so want me

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Enough to make Ron Jeremy blush.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
I know it's a DM link, but this is the story.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2121886/The-experts-break-families-The-terrifying-story-prospective-MP-branded-unfit-mother-experts-whod-met--nightmare-shared-families.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I've never heard of this band but they have a very long name
so I think they're probably rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Metric because they are cool.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
When will you send me my free Alan Davies?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
The racist Alan Davies?
Just the grief athlete scousers moaning again.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
We're not all moaning about it so retract that and donate a grand to the Roota defamation fund

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Scouser on the beg

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Sez u dolescum

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Hahaha!
I ent even claimin so der.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
That's coz carers allowance is wer its at

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
I'll be getting my pension soon

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I call my poops Alan davies

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
It is a better name than "poops"

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
I like "gorillas finger".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I'm a bit more old school.
I prefer imperial.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Good:
enjoying job,
happy with wife,
delighted to be a father.

Bad:
can't decide which new phone to get,
got decorating to finish,
don't get to see enough of my daughter.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Don't get an iPhone
/bets you'll get an iphone.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
Already got an iPhone. Now I have an iPad I don't want an iPhone as I'm not an Apple fanboi.
Thinking of getting quite a basic phone as the iPad can do everything else. Have got a work Blackberry and wouldn't get a second one.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Apple = gay

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Apple = fruit

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Oranges = Not the only fruit

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Having 2 Apple products certainly is. Can get away with 1 without being a 100% grade A mincer.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
An iPad must look like a massive plasma in your little hands.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
He's got a iPod touch, but no one has the heart to tell him.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
T'Pau's etc etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
How's Edinburgh?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
B O S S

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
I shall be there for the late May bank holiday staying with my in-laws.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
There's fucking millions of holidays here!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Having a chainsaw slice in to your neck would be a good look for you.
How was your couple of weeks of sex tourism? Meet any nice young boys?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Very nice thankyouforasking.
All the young boys were lovely.

How are you getting down to Brizz?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
I'm not attending the bash, but I am down there a couple of days before with work so meeting up with Jeff then.
If I could persuade my wife to allow me to go I'd drive down.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
If you do persuade her, I am driving down and there is a spare seat.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Thanks for the offer.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
You can sit in the cup holder.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Whilst you sit in the front scavenging dogends out of the ashtray to reconstruct them to save money.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Samsung Galaxy S2 or Nexus are the best android phones at the moment.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
My Galaxy S is the best thing ever.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Is it really?
The best thing ever, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
Never used an Android-based product. How do they differ?
Have heard poor things about the Windows mobile OS.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Windows is alright to be honest, but for some reason all their phones are really heavy for their size.
Android is fairly similar but with more customisation, definatly worth an hour when you first get it, moving things around to how you like it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Get a trimphone

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
tweereereereeep
I used to be able to whistle that
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Get a 'Pay As You Grow' deal.
You'll save a fortune.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
That's another couple of pints you're buying me next week.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Do you have trouble getting served then?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
He can't see over the bar

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)

Good: Already done a bare long walk with the dog, I'm currently eating roast chicken and I'm seeing all the famo this evening for a big do. Not seen them since I've been back.

Bad: Waiting for a text back off someone (it's excruciating), I'm addicted to The Shield (watched 52 episodes in six days) and I caved in and ordered a takeaway last night. That really needs to stop.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
I saw a dog looked like Molly but smaller.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Seeing tons of Schnauzers round here at the moment.
Which is well annoying as the owners think that makes it okay to come and talk to me about our respective dogs. Fuck off and leave me alone, I don't care.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
"So, you've got a Schnauzer too!"
You should reply with "Wonder what else we've got in common. Are you a paedo and all?"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Haha.
I need to try that, usually I fob them off with "you have a fine taste in dogs" before walking off as quickly as possible to avoid striking up a conversation. The other day a woman actually stopped me and enquired whether mine had back problems like hers did, and started rambling and warned me about Schnauzers' getting arthritis. Bore off my dog's invincible.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Tell them Molly's got Parvo
They'll soon fuck off
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Oops. I do that.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Send Jeff round to their houses.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
I was listening to professor green this morning and I realised that's exactly how I picture you

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
He's a good looking chap, I'll take that.
I'm much harder/cooler than him though, and he needs to stop buying the same clothes as me.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Yeah, he doesn;t look like Gerbanguly wotsit

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Isn't that what boy scouts sing?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
He's also Barry's fatter older dad

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
The Shield is excellent.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
It's so easy to watch as well, it's The Wire for idiots.
Which suits me down to the ground.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
The wire would never have been made if it wasn't for the Shield,
And even though it could be considered dummer, it's still well written and acted.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Is Ross Kemp in that?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
Pretty much.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
And for that reason, I'm out

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Good. Financially pretty ok, work doesn't seem like it, and I'm going to see some bands tonight and getting paid for ti.
Bad, talking to idiots, trying to finish decorating and I have an itchy arse.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I have 2GB spare on the USB Stick
That's winging its way to a certain B3tan on the direct orders of Noel. What shall I put on it? GAZ ME! Cockgazzes will be added to the memory stick. KThxBye
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
a text file with lol written about a billion times.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Some jpegs of £5 notes may come in handy.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Please fuck off.
Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
A picture of you wearing a snorkel and a tutu
balls deep in the oven glove whilst your dog pisses in your mouth
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
That is already its main content.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
I don't have a dog
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)

Create a batch file called run.bat, containing the code 'shutdown /s /t 10 /c "You're a cunt"'
Then, create an autorun.inf on there (look this up, I don't know how to), with this code -
[autorun]
open=run.bat

If that works, everytime he plugs it in, it should tell him he's a cunt, and shutdown. If it doesn't work, then fuck you.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)
the fruits of a "mis-spent" youth

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
But I wouldn't do that
Because despite popular opinion I don't think he's a cunt. An opinionated, cantankerous, old bastard, but not a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Change what the text says then

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
No
He wouldn't be able to get to the donkey porn if his computer shutdown
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
So close, but yet so far

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Hola Chicas!
Como estas?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Espástica doblada

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
Folded spastic?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Close enough

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
DOS LAGERS SEEVOO PLAY, SENOR.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
You'd be more likely to say 'Déme por favor que un poco de dinero le agradece'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Whereas in you'd be more likely to say 'Por favor, ayúdame, estoy muy, muy pequeña.'

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
google translate is taking a hammering today

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Yep

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
babelfish is better

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Do ya want chips with tha'?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
So far I have received zero Gazzes and no genuine suggestions
Proving once and for all that everyone hates Monty
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
He's never watched Serenity so stick that on.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:52, Reply)
mediocre sci fi films are his Kryptonite

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Good thing he's not sending War Of The Worlds then

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)
You so edgy

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Did he ever watch Firefly?
Anyway its not scifi ape, its space western
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
God ape, what a prick.
No I don't think he did.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
He'll love it
just love it!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:01, Reply)
CQ and Cavy were talking about dressing up as this the other evening
It sounds really shit.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Well it isn't
dressing up like it is, obviously.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Dressing up in a Firefly costume isn't my concern.
Watching it, is.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:11, Reply)
I once stayed in a villa in the Tuscan hills and at night the fragrant gardens would be full of fireflies, dancing their ethereal dance

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:12, Reply)
^ most homosexual post of all time ^

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Some LARP thing, I think.
Whatever stops them hanging around outside the off-licence, I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
Actually I think the event is taking place outside the off-licence.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Scout camp in Liecester achually.
Oh the glamour!
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Makes sense, I suppose.
They're forced to wear shorts, woggles and are allegedly subjected to hours of paedophiliac rape. Seems only fair to give them people that they can feel superior to.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I am as yes undecided if it's a good idea TBH.
But I realised the main thing stopping me was fear of looking a tit and that is a pretty piss-poor reason not to do something, for me anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
You should pop over to Cov for a pint* while you're only down the road.
*Of herbal tea or whatever it is we hippies drink.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
And dress up we shall
it's far better than being a smelly hippy
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
You'll still be a smelly hippy, just in different clothing.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
I've never been a smelly hippy.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:14, Reply)
I've seen a picture that says you have.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I was about 16.
What's your excuse?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I'm still as cool today as I was when I was 16
Yes, that cool.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)
record Slartibartfast and Qui-Gon singing a nursery rhyme
Stick it in as rarehawkwindbside.mp3
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
He should record a 4 hour concept album, Philliejoes Glove Songs.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Actually
Me and the glove are going through a bad patch. We haven't made love in ages and she hardly talks to me anymore
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Why does everything you love end up hating you?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Because he's a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:12, Reply)
True

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
songs in the key of glove

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
A Groovy Kind of Glove

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Smell the glove

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Glove Me Tender

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Glove Spreads

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Glove hurts
the lining is quite scratchy.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:48, Reply)
Easy Glover

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
You give Glove a bad name.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Glove is all around

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Crazy Little Thing Called Glove

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)
I believe in a thing called *hits self with hammer*

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:52, Reply)

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