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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Anyone watch Derek last night? Gervais' new thing. Opinions on Gervais in general?
Alt do you go to stand up gigs?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:16, 191 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
There's something deeply unpleasant about Gervais
I can't quite put my finger on what.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
His general self belief that he's the funniest thing to come out of Britain ever?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I don't think it's got anything to do with his reaction to his success
He used to be on the 11 O'Clock Show and I thought he was pretty unpleasant then, too.

Funny, but inexplicably unpleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
I know what you mean
Not someone I'd happily leave my kids with.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Wasn't that the point of his character on The 11 O'Clock Show?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Ricky Gervais has never played a character in his life.
Either he can only play one character, or he hasn't at all. I believe the latter case.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
This is increasingly what I believe.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Fair enough, but I think it is more an exaggeration of his personality
A bit like some people on here.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
True.
Even so, it makes it hard to believe he's a genuinely pleasant man IRL.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
The Office and Extras were brilliant.
But he's turned into a smug arsehole, something he's always prided himself on not being. Don't get me wrong, I'd be a massive flash cunt if I was in his position (I'm a shallow flash twat now for christ sake), but that doesn't mean I don't dislike his demeanour any less.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Did he not inspire your username?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
It was more Merchant's character Darren Lamb who did that.
Stephen Merchant is a different kettle of fish entirely, he's brilliant.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
That was my point down there vvv
The bits with Merchant and Barry were hilarious.
Also, the scene in which he pops up in The Office was good too.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)
The US Office has had its up'n'down but overal is way way WAY more up than down.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
I like it more than the UK one.
The fire drill episode was fucking excellent.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
I like Steve Carrell.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
That scene gets me in histereics every time.
Like when they touch the door handle and he goes "It's a bit warm" or the cat falls from the ceiling.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
I like him.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Me too, and I always get slated for it.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
People are stupid.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Have you got the podcasts?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
Some not all, they're alright.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
The guides are the best I think

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Man's a knob.
He has been funny but all his characters incorporate an element of being a self-important tosser and I strongly suspect this is because he's not pretending.

Then again I wasn't that interested in The Office and while Extras was funny as I recall, I don't remember him having much to do with the good bits. SO maybe I just don't 'get' him. I'm OK with this. I never 'got' Sienfeld either.

Alt: been to a couple, but not regularly. Richard Herring was good, STuart Lee was crap, more herracy. Rob Newman was excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
I never really found Seinfeld funny, either.
Just this morning one of my colleagues was extolling Kramer's virtues. Never got it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I just saw no humour at all in it
Not a smile, not a laugh, nada, didn't hate it, was just bored by it. Either I am just a thicko or a lot of people are pretending there is something terribly special there.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
It wasn't funny
I refer you to Chompy's point up there - people are stupid.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
add me to the "Seinfeld wasn't funny" club

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
And me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
His smugness stops me from being able to enjoy anything he does
The Office was shit.

Alt: Yep, seen Ross Noble 4 times.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
Oh man, I missed that, but I really wanna see it, Gervais is probably my favorite comedian.
I know loads of people don't like him, but his humour is spot on to what I like.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
The only thing I was indifferent too was "It's a short life", well, slightly on the edge of like it of indifferent.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Speaking of stuff that most people like but I hate, and I hate it for all the reasons everyone hates Gervais...
... I can't fucking stand that american guy with the guy who invented signfield.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Larry David?
Again, never saw the point
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
I think thats the one.
The whole thing seems to be "WE ARE VERY VERY RICH FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO GET INTO NORMAL SITUATIONS, LOOK HOW NORMAL WE ARE 90% OF THE TIME, AND THEN 10% OF THE TIME, LOOK AT HOW MUCH FUCKING MONEY I HAVE GOT".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
I love him.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
I would fucking love to go to more stand-up comedy gigs, I used to go to a b3tan set up comedy night all the time and loved it.... even the shiter ones or the people who were trialing things out.
In fact, if anyone fancies going to a comedy night, big or small, don't care, I would really like to come too.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
I liked The Office,
but it's like most comedies - they get less funny with repeated views.
The funny bits in Extras were the bits with Merchant and Barry from Eastenders.

Alt: I'm getting too old to stand up, but if I sit down I might fall asleep.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
With the exception of the Office
he's fucking awful.

The Office is unwatchable if you have any kind of self-awareness but at least it's possible to see why it's funny.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
I watched it.
It was wack. The best bit of it was the Hitler wig.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
I just got compared to Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
should I be insulted.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Probably not.
Moreso if you'd been compared to Jamie Oliver.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
That depends what the basis of the comparison was
If it was based on his ethics and ability in the kitchen, it's a compliment.

Looks, less so.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Hmm.. you do look a bit like him, sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Used to go to stand up gigs when I lived in south London, as The Bedford in Balham gets some good acts.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Don't like him, myself
But he seems to be pretty successful at what he does.
Alt: first one was Newman and Baddiel in 92. I also saw Punt and Dennis the year after.
The most recent was Kevin Bridges, who was a bit of his game. I usually find him quite funny, but not so much that night.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
I dabble in standup.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:53, Reply)
+ on a ladder to be seen.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Mr Pot, I believe you have met Mr Kettle before?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I am taller than him so I am taking my opportunities when I can.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:56, Reply)
I did the same last time I saw a chap who was gayer than me
I enjoyed it more than he did
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
How did that work?
What did you do, bum him whilst screaming "YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS MORE THAN I AM!"
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
I didn't have you down as a voyeur
Sicko
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:12, Reply)
That's just daft
Name one successful Scottish stand-up comedian. Go on.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Phil Kaye. Billy Connolly. Jerry Sadowitz.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
TTJ genius

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
the joke is that there are loads?
How is that a joke, fucko?

Meh. Text based misunderstanding, right here.

You can have a free go on my bumhoop.

Soz bbz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Edited in the interests of not being unduly mean
Bend over then
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Jerry Sadowitz is successfully the most offensive comedian I'm aware of.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:01, Reply)
For me, it's probably Jason Rouse

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Aside from Billy Connolly?
Daniel Sloss, Danny Bhoy, Frankie Boyle...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I think Darth just got pwned.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
I think between you and b3th there's been a serious 'not getting the joke' issue.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Actually, I think we did.
I blame my half-dead mental state. What's your excuse?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:04, Reply)
See above
There are fucking loads. I personally find the Scottish accent lends an otherwise mediocre joke a highly amusing and sarcastic edge
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
I think he maaaaay have been joking here.
Just maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Now this is one smart motherfucker right here
I bet you're good at sums as long as there's no pound signs involved.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
You should click the E.Anglia one on the bottom right
www.briansewell.co.uk/brian-sewell-written-word/brian-sewell-soundboards.html
(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
No sound
I assume it's massively insulting?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Yes.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Despite my fondness for the area I do find jokes at Norfolk's expense hilarious
I'll be looking that up at home then
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Didn't see it, only heard about it about an hour ago
My finger's so far from the pulse it's UNREAL, man.

Pint, anyone?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Yes please. Budvar. Thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)
There's a place not 3 minutes' walk from my office that has Budvar on tap
And Estrella, Peroni and Veltins. See you there in 5?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Excellent. Packet of pork scratchings as well. Ta.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Ugh, that's just sick
It is OVER between us, Battered. Do you hear me? O-V-E-R *snaps*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
* sobs *

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Could I have a pint of anything caffeinated, please?
I'm fucking hanging here.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
I think Gonz has a solution for you
Gonz always has a solution for the laydeez
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
I'd even consider amphetamines at the moment.
I really can't keep my eyes open.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Yes please, I'll have a pint of orange juice and cranberry and red bull, in equal messures... and then 4 shots of campari mixed in.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
Lots and Lots of ice, and outdoors.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
You might want to reconsider that last bit mate
You'll get wetter than Swipey at a rich homo convention
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
Lolz
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/north-korean-embarrassment-as-rocket-launch-fails-7642737.html
(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Cracked me up this morning
But I wouldn't want to be the man responsible for that fuck-up
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Ture, their whole family is probably being arrested right now.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
It's a shame they isolate themselves from the rest of the world.
We could sell them some decent weapons.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
We're not too hot on multistage rockets to be honest.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Didn't see Derek
Never been too keen on Ricky Gervais as a human being, or The Office. Bits of Extras were quite funny though as was one of his stand-up's

alt: Always missed ones I'm interested in before but not tonight
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I have friends who are standup comics so to support them I've been to a few, but only open mic nights which are patchy at best.
I prefer wit to jokes and the horrible 'laddish' pissed-up heckling vibe I find excruciating.

Comments above re Gervais's limited 'range' being caused by him actually being that prick are spot on. I don't mind him that much but I don't think he's half as funny as he seems to think he is. Plus his accent grates enormously.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
His accent is nowhere near as annoying as his cackling laugh

(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
His cackling FAKE laugh, you mean.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
This made me defer from watching An Idiot Abroad
which apart from Gervais was excellent
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
He's shit
98% of Stand up comics are shit

I liked Mitch Hedberg
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
My all time favourite is Steven Wright.
Any lolarious references to 'in the afternoon' will be met with contempt.

"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes."
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Meh, he's alwright.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Did you see his "Big Show"?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:08, Reply)
I did not.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Was that the big bad show tonight, y'all?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:14, Reply)
It's all about Chris Rock.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:11, Reply)
It's funny cos black people do shit like this and white people do shit like that!
*Apollo explodes*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
A couple of his jokes are absolutely superb
The rest is very 'meh'
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
I think he's a clever chap.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:19, Reply)
His "Black people vs Niggers" sketch is absolutely superb
"I take CARE of my kids - you're supposed to, motherfucker!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:17, Reply)
That's one of the ones I mean
That one, and how it's hard to defend rap nowadays
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:19, Reply)
When his little girl started saying that she wished she looked more barbie-like
he launched a campaign to raise the self-esteem of young girls. I admire him a lot for that. Whatever you think of his material, he does seem to be a thoroughly grounded chap.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I wasn't aware of that
Certainly scores points in his favour
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Spot on, that man could run the country.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
He already does, doesn't he?
/Alllookaliketomelolz
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Animals was good, politics was good
The Office Was genre defining, extras wasn't bad and I haven't seen much since.

Alt: I've been to a few, comics always seem funnier in person than on telly. Ross Nobel was brilliant live, but i never rated him at all on his telly work, you need the atmousphere.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
I put it to you that 'genre defining' is the kind of almost-wholly-meaningless drivel
spouted by critics such as Paul Ross.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
The office is the reason you see so many cringe type comedies, without specific "jokes"
I put it to you that are not worthy of humming on Paul Ross's balls let alone taking his name in vain.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
So, it's their fault everything else is shite then?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Pretty much
Although Alan partridge might be the modern genisis. Without either of these I doubt we would have 'The Thick of It' which is genius
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
2nd series of Partridge is one of the top five sitcoms of all times I'd say.
Easily as funny as Fawlty Towers and about 85 million times more so than that awful Hancock fellow so beloved of wankers like Paul Merton.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:39, Reply)
Tosh.
By his own admission Gervais's whole 'thing' is Larry David's 'thing' but not done by Larry David.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)
He is superb live, isn't he?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:14, Reply)
I bet it was really annoying for all those people who scoffed when he said he would do stand up
and he turned out to be pretty good at it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Nerble is cut from the same God-awful 'I'm just so RANDOM' cloth as that oaf Noel Fielding.
'Imagine, right, a moonkeh, right, on a mer-ped' etc.

Really easy to do, not very witty and student-waki in the extreme. He's a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Did you see Noel Fielding interview Damien Hirst?
he was such a fucking embarrassing fan boy he practically tried to force feed Hirst his jizz
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:18, Reply)
That never quite made it onto my 'to watch' list for two reasons.
1. D Hirst
2. N Fielding
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I didn't see his latest effort
mainly because the 10 minutes or so of The Office I saw was the most excrutiatingly unfunny tepid cupfull of puppy jism that I have ever witnessed. Since then I have avoided anything and everything he has ever done, save for a fleeting snippet of him presenting some awards or other, where surprise-surfucking-surprise, he was an unfunny cunt.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
I thoroughly agree with you about The Office

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
The Office was genius
you needed to watch far more than 10 minutes to "get it"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
I couldn't possiby 'wath' another second of it, believe me

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Wath your handth!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Yeth mummy!

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Nonsense.
I thought it was quite good but Gervais' 'embarrassingly graceless but ultimately rather pathetic man you feel a little sympathy for' routine can be sussed in no more than five minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
The Office was, I quote, "FUCKING SHIT"
It was actually painful to watch
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Amen.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I concur
After 5 minutes I was practically fetal with cringe and switched it off.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Afternoon mate
How have you been?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Not too bad mate, bit of a bad patch at the start of the week
Mental ex-GF causing shit in an excrutiatingly-painful attempt to garner sympathy.

How's yourself?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:19, Reply)
I'll take care of that for you mate
*orders hit*

Not bad at all thank you, good to catch up with you. Here's a question; who should succeed Straussy at the top of the order?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Thank you my good man, but I've already taken care of it
She is up to her fucking big gob in trouble as a result of her mischief making. She'll have forgotten all about it by the time she gets her cumuppence though. It will be most lolarious.

In answer to your question - any cunt who knows which way to hold a fucking bat. Obviously I'd nominate myself, but my team need me this year.

I saw your FB post regarding Karren Brady. I think, that on balance, I probably would.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
THANK YOU
I was pissed when I wrote it mind.

Do we promote Trott to opener, as he's been practically playing there for over a year? Or is he too valuable at 3? I'd stick KP in first myself.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Either would be a decent shout.
Maybe KP, as he's quite used to being back in the shed by lunch on day one anyway.

Seriously though the last test aside his form has been appalling, and I wouldn't have been surprised to see him getting the boot ages ago.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)
The problem with KP is also the best reason to keep him in the team
He thinks he can batter any bowler in the world to any part of any ground at any time he chooses, and has no concept of bedding in and maintaining his wicket. And he can. Sometimes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:31, Reply)
I agree
however he does have some quite fundamental issues with his batting that he fails to address.

His declining test average cannot be ignored though.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Very true on both counts
Not exactly lining up to take his place though are they?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:39, Reply)
Well there is some truth in that, but the England A lot have some really good players coming along
like Bairstow, Butler, etc.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Coming along is one thing
Ready to fill the number 4 slot at KP's expense is another. Wouldn't mind seeing one or both of them blooded against the Windies mind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)
Yeah, they're pish.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Oh I don't know.
I'm doing a pretty good job of ignoring it completely.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:40, Reply)
You fucking liar
You have the averages of England's entire squad memorised, in alphabetical order.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Fine, THANKS FOR ASKING
cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:19, Reply)
*click*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I asked you yesterday!
Christ, I thought I was needy. Because I am.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Monty, please put me on ignore for a few minutes and let the rest of us discuss this
Eddie Izzard is absolutely the best stand-up comedian of all time, in my opinion.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:19, Reply)
I implore anyone who has not seen 'Death Star Canteen' performed through the medium of Lego to watch it on YouTube immediately.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Conversely,
I implore anyone who has the misfortune to see his pathetic excuse for an 'act' to shit into one of your socks and sling it straight at his stupid gay face.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Izzard is magnificent

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Another faux-surreal tosspot camouflaging a lack of any real wit with RANDOM WAKINESS.
I watched his 'I'M SPEAKING FRENCH!!!!! IN A DRESS!!!!!!!!' show last year and it was unmitigated shite. Plus his affected louche drawl makes me want to drink bleach.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Do you mean the show he did in France?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I believe it was earlier than that
but half the routine was about French vocabulary. I would rather hear my name being called for frontline army duties in Helmand that endure that hogwash for a second time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:25, Reply)
He's in Canada, and done the encore in French by repeating much of the show
it's witty and charming
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)

witty bent
charming shit
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Buuuuuut.... he's really fucking funny
Also, "a lack of any real" is something of a faux-surreal statement camouflaging a lack of any real argument with RANDOM WAKINESS.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Oops edited.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
Well now my post doesn't make sense
You have NO CONSIDERATION FOR MY FEELINGS
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)
None whatsoever.
Sozzles.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
YOU'RE NOT THOUGH ARE YOU
*comfort eats, watches Loose Women, bleeds from fanny*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE HE IS SHIT.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)

is was
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:21, Reply)
I actually can't argue with that
There's no getting around the fact that his best stuff is a decade and more old now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Lenny Henry was good on is was.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
What the fuckn are you blithering on about?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Tiswas you dribbling halfwit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:33, Reply)
I was not born when "is was" [sic] was on

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
I believe the aged gentleman
Would like a condensed milk sandwich
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Ooooooookay, I will. Thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)
But can you now do an impression
of David Bellamy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:04, Reply)
*wummages awound in the undergwowf*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)
*gwapples gwapenuts*

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)
Fucking brilliant

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)
i want him to be mayor of London.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Yeah, but he's a labour cunt so I couldn't really vote for him unless he had some different ideas

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
That would be fucking brilliant
And not unfeasible, the current mayor is a fucking comedian after all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
Boris is a fucking genius.
You wouldn't get that incredible 'wiff-waff is coming home' speech from Red Ken, the whiny-voiced hypocritical cuntrag.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
I quite like the fact that our capital's mayor looks like he's wandered in off Sesame Street

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)
He's excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)
*air guitars*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Reginold D Hunter is supperb.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Alan Davies is breakfast.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Lee Evans is lunch.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)
If he ever sets foot in Liverpool he'll be dogfood

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)
As I may have mentioned, I was at Hillsborough and am quite sensitive about the subject
but I still think Davies is right, Liverpool are being twats
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:51, Reply)
Did you bum someone so hard that the crowd was rammed forward crushing people to death?
*shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I was, and you'll like this
At the other end. And 10.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:59, Reply)
You were turning tricks that young? Kudos

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
He was right in everything he said

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:53, Reply)

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