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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You have £10 and 30 minutes before you die.
You must use that time to spend and enjoy the money, not to do any soppy bollocks like kissing loved ones goodbye before you snuff it.

What would you buy?*

Alt: Do you believe that the UK economy is growing? (based on your own experiences not industry data).

*Try to avoid obvious answers like beer or drugs.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I'd buy a mocha coffee.
And a loaf of bread. I would sit in a park near a lake, and feed the bread to the ducks/swans/birds and enjoy something that I can never normally drink.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:42, Reply)
This is a lovely answer
Why can you not drink coffee though?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
She's australian, and you can't bbq it.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Good point

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
And because it is foreign they distrust it inherantly and suspect it is stealing their jobs.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Quentin will come up soon and tell us all how to BBQ coffee.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
He's too busy doing my wife apparently.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Watch out, he might go for your daughter he doesn't really understand that percieved size is relative to distance.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
father dougallolz

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
ah what you goin on about?
i was in the right and you know it
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
in that case he'll be here in less than a minute

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Ha ha.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
in a soup tin, obviously
put the tin in a seperate metal container of water to add the authentic smokey taste too
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Shut up pissface.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
you can't steal all the rainbows from my day, you terribel person

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)
I'm caffeine intolerant - it makes me get migraines bad enough that I basically lie in a ball with a throbbing head and a strong desire to throw up.
So I avoid it like the plague. I can't even eat a lot of chocolate without the same reaction. It fucking sucks
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
great way to spend your last 1/2 hour on earth then

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
It doesn't kick in that quick mate!
I have about 30 minutes before the caffeine starts making me sick... so if I have only 30 minutes to live, I should be able to get off scott free!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
*orders poppet a double espresso*
*stands back*
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
It's like mentos to her diet coke.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Probably is yeah.
Although speaking of experiments, I get to dissect a cane toad tomorrow. BLOOD AND GUTS EVERYWHERE!!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Don't aussies regularyl do this with golf clubs?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
And cars.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Yeah but I don't live in the north where the cane toads live.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I remember dissecting a Bulls eye, it pops and black liquid comes out I did a :S
but they kind of bounce if you throw them at people.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I've had a cows heart thrown at me.
that was a bit nausea inducing.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Worst valentines day ever.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
13 year olds have no idea how it's done.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
You're meant to cover it in chocolate first right?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
at the very least.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
i don't think you should be dating 13 year olds, mate

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
I'm saying it happened to me when *I* was 13.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
i don't care how much you weigh, you shouldn't be dating 13 year olds

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Oh Quentin.
*shakes head*
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
He won't stop arguing until you draw him a picture.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
i still won that argument, and to be fair the picture didn't stop it

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
If he wants me to draw him a picture, then he'll have to pay.
I'm not doing them for free anymore.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
DRAW ME A PICUTE OF YOU DATING A 13 YEAR OLD
NOWWWWWWWW
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
You're looking like a nonce now.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
I am not ashamed of what i am

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
aha.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
its quinten, can't you read?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
gin
Clearly; we have been out of the recession since late 2009
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:43, Reply)
I'd have a couple of pints in a sunny beer garden and chat to people

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
he siad no beer, or this is what i would do

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:48, Reply)
But gin is OK?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I work witthin and around the boundries that i am set

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Ok, I'll edit it to 'do you believe that the UK economy is growing, based on your own experiences not industry data'

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)
The economy is likely to bump along for teh rest of the year without significant growth
this is caused by factors both foreign and domestic and I don't believe it's something that can be artifically fixed by government policy. So we might as well MTFU and get on with life.

My clients are spending far more this year than last year.
*sore arse*
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
government policy can fix most things with an ecomomy.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Not if external markets are suffering and affecting our exports/currency etc

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
course they can,
there's valid reasons not to do it, such as it not solving anything in the long term and it'll screw over other countries and they might get a little shooty.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
I'd invest it in a happy meal

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Go crazy and have 3

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
I'm watchin me weight man

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
with 30 mins to live?
Get some lard down ya
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Are you cahtting him up?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
:(

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
he wants to give you some of his man fat Rory
it would be impolite to refuse
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
No cats are involved

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
What kind of return would you expect from your investment?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
The shits

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Pint, definitely.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:48, Reply)
i'd pay battered's wife for all the times i've chucked one in her
she's had me on a tab for the last 6 years
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Yes but what about the other £9.89

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)
bu dum tissss

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
It's the way I tell 'em

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
i'd give it to women's refuge, i'm all about helping out battered's wife

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
I would buy a present for my daughter.
Sentimental post is sentimental.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:54, Reply)
I'd go and buy a cheap cleaver
and then when death comes near me I'd rip his tits off.

Alt: Why would I be concerned about belief in something that can be tangibly proved one way or the other?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:57, Reply)
the internet is 90% opinion

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
9% Quinten and 1% sense.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
what's that got to do with the use of the word "believe" though?
Also, the internet is 97.9% porn, 2% fuckwits and 0.3% people who can't do maths.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
it's funny because badger's numbers add up to more than 100%!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:04, Reply)
It's not really funny, Nakers.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1592263
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
truth of the day

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:04, Reply)
I do the stats jokes sunshine.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
yeah, and 60% of the time you're funny all the time

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
The internet is 100% Kroney.
I am Legion.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
the disease?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
If I were a disease, I'd be priapism.
Which isn't a disease, but whatever.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
you'd be the gush.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Pre-ape-ism is what is used to be like round here

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Before the dark times. Before the Ape-ire
/starwarsgag
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
The horse is strong in this one

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Legion almost as big a deacon as Quinten.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Shepard Commander.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Ten bag.
*half an hour left, perfect.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Wasn't he that guitarist out of Pantera?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Not any more he's not.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
I struggle to keep up with all this modern music.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
that shows a massive fucking lack of ambition
if you're going out in the 30 mins you might at least hit the crack.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Considering who it is, this is about as ambitious as you might expect.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Do one spastic, you're a fucking moron and in serious danger of taking the Internet seriously, monumental prick that you are.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I don't know any crack dealers

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
you've got 30 minutes
you could at least try talking to other people.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
I think with the time limit I'm happy with my choice.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
It's this level of lack of ambition that's ruining Britain.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
There's half an hour to go...

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
darling, who could enjoy themselves on a tenner?
gimme a grand and i'll think about it.

i am seeing a huge rise in insolvencies as i deal with the property elements of them. based on that experience alone, and no other factors, NO.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
I'd bung one in your dirtbox for a tenner
I hope this helps
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Why would she want a tenner up her arse?
She only wipes with £20 notes FFS
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
insolvencies are almost certainly delayed though.
I'd put them a year or two behind the actual "economy" in so far as one thing can be described as the ecomony.

I reckon you're seeing the fallout from 2008-2010
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I reckon you're wrong.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I could be
but I seriously doubt that the timescale of economic downturn - business failing - filing for bankrupcy - dragging through the courts - eventually passing the property issues onto Swipe's lot happens in 5 minutes.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I would like to complain about the lack of citations in the strongest possible terms.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
That is your absolute right as a poster.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
i think your all wrong
the economy's great, we didn't have any recession it was all just a conspiracy

the only reason swipe has so many insolvenicies to deal with is because she works for a shit company with shit clients
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
how are the burgers, dude?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
fryin' up a treat

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
so what's the latest with the cowboy hat?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
mine or the gf's?
i wore mine on sunday and had a gunfight with my nephew but he refused to die even though i clearly shot him first like a million times so i stopped playing with him after that.

the gf hasn't worn hers since the fancy dress party last year :(
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
so she is the gf again now?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
oh i dunno, i assume so
we're both just having fun and still spending alot of time together

soz, i know you wanted to ask me out again :(
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
"again" ?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
you asked me out ages ago and i said no remember?
EDIt wait and i'll find the gaz
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)

Sent to rachelswipe:

re: alright rachelswipe?
thats alright, my girlfriend probably would have been a bit cross about it anyways
(Quinten Oftiweak Official Counsellor of B3ta, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:10, reply)
in reply to:
re: alright rachelswipe?
shit, i'm so sorry, i think i might have led you on here.

firstly, i am out on wed night.

and secondly, i'd rather stick red hot pins in my eyes than date a b3tan.

i do hope you can sleep at night after this cruel rejection.
( Quinten Oftiweak Official Counsellor of B3ta, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:09, reply)
in reply to:
Sent To rachelswipe:

alright Quentin?
is 7.30 ok for our date at benares on wednesday night?

I'll be wearing aw hite suit so i'll be easy to spot

can't wait! see you there

x
(rachelswipe cock fairy, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:03)
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
you published a GAZ?
you broke the LAW, man. next you'll be posting people's real names and workplaces.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
i'm seeing administrators taking advantage of the law to screw landlords
that's for sure
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I hope you will be buying me a decent bottle of champagne on Saturday.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
on a cider boat?
i can try!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Smuggle some decent booze on board, that's what I'm planning on doing.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Jeff kindly listed the drinks menu the other evening
I believe they have wine and champagne. You can buy Moet in Wetherspoons, ffs.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)

www.whiskyminiatures.org.uk/img/G%20H%20Mumm%20Brut%20Champagne.jpg
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I love love a bit of Mumm

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
So did AA once upon a time.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
*sets them up*
*knocks them down*
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
aaarh man, my pc was going dead slow all week
i uninstalled some shit Apple stuff running in the background and some HTC thing that was on here for god knows what reason and its ok now

Apple are cunts
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I'd kill the motherfucker in my office that WON'T STOP FUCKING COUGHING!
What's even more annoying is that it's only ever one cough at a time, about half an hour apart. Drives me up the fucking wall.

This has been going on for weeks now.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Give em a break, they do have to look at your face
you're the winner there aa
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
He doesn't, he's on the other side of the office, behind one of the desk seperator things (cannot for the life of me remember what they're called)
However, you do have a point there.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Maybe they have a terminal disease.
So be nice and make them a nice cuppa, laced with rat poison.
Re office shit, I've had to install a net nanny that blocks, amongst the usual porn and racism, Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. I'm sooooo popular. Obviously, I ahven't installed it on my own system. other wise I wouldn't be able to waste time on b3ta.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
There's a filter here blocking facebook, youtube, and a forum that someone used to spend hours on
It's turned off from time to time though, so it's not too bad.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
It's even banned Popbitch,
which is a bit sad.
Edit, how were your gigs last week?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Excellent, thank you
Parkway Drive were superb, but I was very tired, so didn't end up pitting for them. The fact I had to keep hold of my bag didn't help. Andrew WK was absolutely incredible, the most fun I've had at a gig in years.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
I'd not heard of him before you mentioned him last week.
Bit heavy for me I'm afraid.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
He's only really known for a couple of tracks, and they came out 10 years ago
Was an absolutely excellent gig though
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
did he get a nosebleed?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Nope

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
did you?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Nope

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Anyone who thinks 'party' is a verb is a fucking cunt.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
*agrees*

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Some LSD.
Obvious but true.

Alt: is it bollocks
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I don't think it's bollocks
I think it's a financial system that manages the flow of money around and in and out of our country
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
You might benefit from some research into ‘question marks’ and what their use of, and absence of, denotes.
Plus, DYAAKY.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
You're obsessed with bollocks.
Why don't you just go and get a mirror and spend the afternoon looking at your own.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
he sold them tto an arabian business man back in '09

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
I have a team of eunuchs to do that for me.
It's the one expense I simply refuse to cut back on.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Never a good idea to cut back on them
Believe me, I know.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
'Speaking as a recently-created eunuch - and a Welsh one to boot....'

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
A question of morals for you.
If an upper management person comes to a meeting at a site, and drives their own car (lotus) rather than their company car, BMW. Should I be annoyed?
I'm annoyed at them but don't really know why.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
envy is such an ugly emotion

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
I wouldn't want a lotus.
But still, you're given a car to use for work, friggin use it.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
maybe it's in the garage?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
That is a good point...

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
It's their personal choice how they spend their money.
Would you feel so annoyed if they spent their money on having horses or on a second home?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
How are the Ponies Batte?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Horses are for betting on, not for owning.
Did you see there was a runner in the grand national called Weird Al? Ha ha.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Nope, all I knows it that 2 of the poor buggers died, beyond that I have no interest.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
ah, starting a glue factory, eh?
*taps nose*
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Nope, but I don't gamble as a rule nor do I find horses interesting per se
But I know the National is famous for killing a few each year, so it's kind of interesting to speculate how long they will continue to do this.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Depends if they are going to claim mileage for using their own car.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Smear your shit all over their windscreen, and yourself, in protest.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Done, what next?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
That's it. Finished.
That's the beauty of my plan - simple, and quick to execute.

Now just sit back and wait.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
I'm sticking to the chair.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Ah. There are still some finer details that need ironing out, it seems.
Soz.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
I don't think these stains will iron out.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Post your shitty clothes to AA.
He'll clean and iron them and then post them back. You know what those Welshies are like, they love that stuff.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)

plan daughter
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Shut up, Dai.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Should I delete my account first?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Smear yourself in shit first.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
How do you know the BMW isn't broken etc?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
I don't...

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Find out then call him a cunt

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
would you be annoyed if they went for a run rather than use their corporate gym membership, too?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I think it's just because I hate people earning more than me.
I have a biology question for you.
So I want to heat up my beer from 17C to 21C, is that enough to shock it, and if so should I do it slowly? Or is just moving it from the kitchen (16C- 17C)to the airing cupboard (21C) and leaving it enough
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
That shouldn't bother it in the slightest.
however fast you do it.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
That's what I thought,
I think I'm being far too delicate with it to be honest, I'm not making cancer drugs.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Shame. I'd buy some off you if you were.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
sit on it like a boozy hen

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
I like this

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Shout 'boo' at it.
Then smear shit all over yourself.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
I also have a moral question.
If I am driving on an empty motorway and there is somebody driving in the outside lane at a steady 65mph when the middle and inside lanes are empty is it acceptable for me to come up behind them and flash my lights at them or to overtake them on the inside?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
never overtake on the inside

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Even the police disagree with you, here.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Just drive in the lane you should be in (the inside)
at the speed you want to. if there is nothing directly in front of you then what's the issue if you happen to undertake someone 2 lanes away? they are driving without due care and attention anyway.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
some people have a funny idea about what constitutes a "moral"
in your case, the law says that you have to undertake them whilst mooning and slapping your asscheeks. it's more of an anal dilemma really.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Inside in that scenario. As long as you don't endanger anyone else.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
That's what I thought.
Happens most mornings as the M1 going out of London tends to be almost empty at 7am - the majority of the traffic is heading the other way.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Pull over to the hard shoulder and immediately smear yourself in your own shit.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I save my shit for dirty protests when doing site visits.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
What you need is a Tupperware box of shit in your glove compartment, so you can do both.
Forward planning, you see?
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I'd like to change my answer to this, please, Bob.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Not allowed!
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Like a kind of faecal Lord of the Flies.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Is this a breakdown?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
No, he's pulled over simply to smear himself in shit.
His car remains in full working order. That's the beauty of this plan.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Are you having a breakdown?

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
You tell me.
Perhaps I am.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Judge rules... Sane.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:41, Reply)
No, he's just smeared himself in shit.
His brain is in full working order.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
give them a nudge
"rubbin's racin'" after all
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
not if you're in a strip club
it turns out.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
How to fuck up a country
www.economist.com/blogs/americasview/2012/04/argentinas-oil-industry
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
They're being really fucking stupid at the moment aren't they?
I'm going to boycott their beef and black pudding* to REALLY SHOW THEM.

*I'm not really.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I'd get myself up to the heighest steepest point I could get too, like, the top floor of a tall building.
And I'ld masturbate to the thought of quintin doing your wife, and then at exactly 29m55s, just as I start to come, I'd jump off whatever I'm on, and hope I'm dead before I hit the ground.

No, even better, keep the steepest point bit, but I'll actaully be doing your wife, from behind, over the end, and then the moment I jizz at about 29m45s, I'd push her off, and hope she hits the ground at 29m55s.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
You'd be better off spending the time preparing yourself for the punch in the face you're going to receive in Bristol on Saturday.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
A b3tan punch up would be brilliant

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Oh man, I don't think I'll go now.

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)

It's alright Gonz, I'll be your champion if you like.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Midget fight!

(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:47, Reply)
hahahahahah
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17749533
(, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)

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