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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Talking of Luton
A bunch of people have just been arrested on Terrorism charges there.

But the details aren't out yet.

SO tonight I have only got to put some shirts in the wash and I'm totally free for the rest of the evening. What's your ideal evening by yourself?
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
movie and some beer/wine/gin

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I have a small bladder you see...

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)

bladder penis
bladder brain
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)
What sort of movie?
I've got netflix, and I've started to realise it's shit.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Less shit than Lovefilm though.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Is there a good on demand service?
I've been thinking about netflix, but their an demand rangle looks woeful.
But I haven't got a PS3 or a 360. Netflix have a wii app, which would be convenient. Still, there are plenty of spare hdmi cables lying around here, so we could always hook up one of the laptops...

Sorry, I'm rambling now.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
They're both ok, but they don't have enough on there to be worth keeping them for a year.
And trying to navigate them on xbox/ps3 is shit.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
At the moment. we spend about a tenner on average on Sky Box Office movies.
If we could spend the same to get unlimited streaming, that would be good. But no-one in the UK seems to be offering anywhere near the range of titles.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
a tenner will get you unlimited streaming on love film, but you sill need to pay £2.50 per movie on top of that for recent releases.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
If you want films out in the last 3 years, probably not.
but netflix has got a massive backlog of good films. you could probably make a big dent in the IMDB top 100 of all time.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
It depends what you want.
I think Netfix online UI is far better, especially if you want to watch a TV series, which is surprisingly hard to do on LoveFilm. It has to be said their selection is less good, but the stuff that Lovefilm has that Netflix does not you generally have to pay for. I realised I was only watching online and finding Lovefilm a frustratimg way to do this so I'm in the process of switching. Also Netflix has an android app which is a very big plus for me.

I'd say try Netflix 1 month free trial offer and see if you like them or not. As someone hwo only wants to watch online and is not interested in having to pay more for individual films, and uses an android tablet a lot, it suits me better, but this may not be true for you.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
That would be good for me too
and as I said, they have the wii thing so I wouldn't have to hook anything extra up to the telly. But unless I'm missing something, their range seems to consist of ten-year-old films and four tv series.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Not quite that bad, but not a good range I'll grant you.
for 6 a month it'll do me for a while but if they don't get more decent stuff on ther I may just give up all together, or go back to lovefilm if they get any better, but their UI really hacked me off.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
get a hard drive with a hdmi thinggy and let a geeky friend just download anything.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
^ this
much simpler and no streaming time.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Can't be arsed. I'll pay £6 a month for a nice UI and someone else doign all the work.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I usually watch trash when on my own
I have Iron Man 2 for this evening
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Excellent Trash

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Excellent Trash

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
and great seats too

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
A drunken and very loud session on my guitars and turntables.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I don't really want to drink, a bit hungover from last nights cocktails and sake.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Then my suggestion wins
Nothing cures a hangover better than a joint.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
I won't be hungover by the time I get home.
And I don't own any drugs.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
im going to open a japanese bar and whore house called Four Fucks Sake.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
You just sit on your turntables whilst they're spinning and shout "Weeeeee!", don't you?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
Yes.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
I dunno.
I used to love my own company and actively avoided other people. Now I can't think of anything worse, I need human interaction or I go crackers.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
A few beers and either catching up on TV, watching films, or playing on the PS2/360

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Getting really stoned and listening to lots of records.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Records as in vinyl?
Cool. I'm jacked off I sold my vinyl collection it'd be worth a mint now.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Of course vinyl.
It could be worse - I think Monty sold many of his and then bought them back at inflated prices.
Never sell your records.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Yeah well,
shit happens mate. Then you die.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Is that a threat?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
A good bottle of red, some cheese and a catch up on Sky Plus
interspersed with frantic wanks
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Pretty sure that it can be taken as read for a man left on his own to include at least one wank.
Particularly the married ones.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
Thus speaks the voice of experience

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)
+whilst typing one-handed

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
I love a 'married wank', me.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Getting the ring on is the best bit

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
You lead a rock and roll lifestyle.
Washing shirts? It's up there with driving cars into swimming pools, and massive drugs.
I'm not mad on my own company really, I like people to be around.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
They're not going to wash themselves are they?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
take them to the dry cleaners
they come back cleaned and ironed the next day with no hassle at all
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
I aint made of money!

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
It's usually only a quid a shirt

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
So about £300 a year,
no thanks.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:40, Reply)
He's got solid oak floors you know

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
and a wife that won't do his shirts.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Withhold sex from her,
until she washes them. That'll teach her.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
And keep wearing the same shirt every day until she can't resist you.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Pheromones innit

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:18, Reply)
You're in the right place, then.
Most of these cunts are extremely round.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Red wine or red bull depending on mood
something good to put on tv, and a good book to read. More difficult when my sister and father are home though because she's addicted to watching Pointless, and he just wants to watch all of Justified at the moment.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Ha, I watched Justified I like that show.
Stupid but fun.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
It's pretty good and I'm enjoying it
but it's not the first thing I'd put on, if it was my choice.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
game shows are for cretins
sorry to be the bearer...
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
I know
I think she does it to piss me off.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Stop bullying Darth

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
beer and tv
Probably some show based on antics in Jersey
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Bergerac?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
*trigger fingers*

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
KERLICK

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Well it wasn't me. There was a lot of blues and twos in the night though.
G'day good people, I'm sort of back. Three days in hospital last week and a lot of moping about since then. Type 2 diabetes, not even the better type 1. Luton is so second class. The future is bleak, unless I behave myself in the food department.

Cheer me up.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:57, Reply)
My back is fucked
Off to hospital tomorrow for blood tests and an ECG as they are worried about my heart rate too
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I got mine done as part of the service.
See solution to problem 1.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
My resting heart rate is 45

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
change the record.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
*golf claps*

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I was going to go with 'Cornershops less successful....'

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
*joke about being single*

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
*followup about changing the record*

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Also, amputation is the new piercing
You will be SO trendy
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
This is not so funny.
I hate being trendy.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:01, Reply)
DYAAKY
Its the only way. DO it before they chop off your arms though as head dobbers are more difficult to use
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
^ the voice of experience

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:08, Reply)
The dobber of experience, please

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Hey Bart
Glad you're not dead.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
You for got to add "yet"

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Hey dude, I was trying to be positive.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
So was I.
I must say there was a bunch of head scratching doctors round my bed. Wondering why I wasn't already dead.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:12, Reply)
HiV lolz

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Monty related the news at the bash
We were all a little sad and reflective for a moment or two.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I do't even care that I lost the money on the train fare and hotel.
Deffo taking the insurance next time.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Cake insurance?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
I say sad and reflective
It might have been more "Bartleby cannot bash today as he has diabetes, signed Bartleby's mum" and suggestions that you should have to bash in your vest and pants.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
hahahaha!
My wife currently has a note to wear trainers. She is a teacher
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Bashing is exactly like PE for fatties.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Type two is often associated with being a fat fuck, now it's too late cos your toes have already started to blacken and it won't be long before they'll be off
Not that you'll notice too much cos you'll be blind by then !!
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Another plus side is you'll not see your toes fall off as your kite will be in the way
You may smell them though
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Having a stroke face is sexy
not to mention his continuing leg ulcers
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
FAST
Fat Amputated Seeping Toes
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Rotting flesh stinks man, I dunno how he'll get any sexytime from this 'woman' of his

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
She hasn't noticed yet.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
*complicated joke involving Mrs Bartleby being a dog + having no nose*

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Oi! She has a lovely nose.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Thankee
you ninja cunt
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Will you transcribe my talking books for me Rory?
Do say yes.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
Yer why not, there was some list yesterday that I'd not read any of, we could start there eh

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:11, Reply)
No thanks.
Can you start on the Rev Audrey Railway series please.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Thomas, he's the cheeky one
James is vain, but lots of fun...
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
a handful of opates, a good wank then hollyoaks and bed.
You haven't lived till you've woken up on the toilet with your cock in your hand and a bottle of Dove spilt all over the floor.
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:58, Reply)
25% moisturiser
75% spunk
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
DOes the want not go 'hand in hand' with the hollyoaks?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
only the first and third ones of the evening.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
I'd have considered an apres Hollyoaks wank myself.
Is Nancy still in it?
The cute one who was in Crossroads?
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
whats crossroads? darling nancy is maried to darren now.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
is it really possible to have a wank off so little viewing material?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
I just had one to this post.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)
pfft

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
It is possible to wank to "almost" anything

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:08, Reply)
bash photos?

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
|I've not seen them yet
Maybe
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
I'm guessing not.

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
I like a challenge

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
*sends metric fuckton of Viagra to Sporters*

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
haha

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I have to increase my heart rate somehow
Olympic Wankathon seems the most sensible way
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:16, Reply)
+ Daley Thompson's
Mind you don't waggle your joystick too hard
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:31, Reply)
I have the world record in the long spunk and the high spunk
I'm a "touch" short on the 100m though
(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
She was a fat ratty munter

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:14, Reply)
...and I'm spent

(, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:17, Reply)

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