fucking letting agents
Still not sorted with a flat. Serious question: is it unprofessional to phone my new employer and ask if I can postpone my start by a week?

Alt: what's the last unprofessional thing you did?

Alt alt: I had a bourbon fried steak sandwich with caramelised onions and aioli sauce for lunch. You?
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Alt: Your mum.
No, wait a minute, she is a pro.
( Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:39, Reply)

Isn't she though!
She sucked so hard my balls actually popped out of my bell-end
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Sleep under your desk
alt: b3ta

altalt: jumbola
(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Needs MOAR deak

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)

I think if you have nowhere to live, then they ought to be understanding.
If they aren't, then you already know you are going to be working for a bunch of cunts.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)

I'd say so, yes.
Can you not kip on someone's floor for a week?

Alt:
b3ta at work most likely

Alt Alt:
No. I had lamb cooked with turmeric and chilli, served in pitta breads with hummous
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)

I wouldn't postpone.
Letting agents tend to do fuck all until the last second when they see their commision coming in then sort it out.
(PsychoChomp I want to more creative in a buisness kinda way., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Letting agents Most people
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Of course it is, it implies that you're an imbecile
It's really easy to get digs of any kind for a week or longer in London, your manager will file you under manchild for being unable to sort this out
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Will he ever win?

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)

Not at this rate, I've employed people who've arrived in the country from the other side of the world and have been ready to work the following day having already sorted out digs

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:47, Reply)

Yeah, on a farm in East Anglia for £5 a month

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)

That's on my to do list

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Mine just says Kylie

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:50, Reply)

McLachlan?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:51, Reply)

No, that was the bloke

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:52, Reply)

You can always tell by counting the balls
*checks 1-2*

Yep
( Bill Clay Hey Whitey, where's your hat?, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:37, Reply)

I tried to fashion some joke around this but failed
...as have you
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Stop being such a mona
*puts away shovel*

*leaves quietly*
( Bill Clay Hey Whitey, where's your hat?, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

IRL giggle

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Hahaha

( Bill Clay Hey Whitey, where's your hat?, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:21, Reply)

It would not be a good start.
If I was the hiring manager I'd be pissed off.
( Battered I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)

This^
Be inventive
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Can't you crash at a mates for a week?
Alt, told them the modem had burnt out, cos I fancied an afternoon off to watch cricket.
Alt alt, ham and cheese omelette, chips and green beans. I had Balsamic syrup, which I have never seen before. Peasant that I am.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:47, Reply)

maybe they'd get it done quicker if you stop fucking them
ohohoho! lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:48, Reply)

Only 30 seconds quicker though, in his defence

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:50, Reply)

he's not doing it three times

( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:51, Reply)

He needs a quick smoke though

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:52, Reply)

if you do a witch appears and steals the soul of your sperms
it happened to philliejoe
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:53, Reply)

chortle

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)

thats why i've always been a once a week kind of guy
no point in taking the risk
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)

i wouldn't ask work
Ask the agent to explain the hold up in writing so that you can run it past your solicitor if needs be. Can also help to ask for landlord's direct contact details. The agent will not want you to email the landlord to complain about delay.
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:51, Reply)

A crappy hotel for a few days?

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:51, Reply)

sorry darling
I don't do crap hotels. I'm not some hookeresque tramp.
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:53, Reply)

pah
foiled again. Titgaz?
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:53, Reply)

It's mostly all my stuff I'm concerned about
I'm finished here on the 29th so I have to be out and start date is the 30th. Thinking about putting everything except clothes, bedding and laptop in storage and sorting it out over the next few weekends at the moment.

And I'm not going to do change of address until it's sorted, got to cancel utilities here etc etc etc. It's giving me an ulcer.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Storage then

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)

it will cost more
But I'd just get a storage comapany to pack, move, store, move, unpack.

Saves soooooooo much pissing around.
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)

You speak sooth, young lady
having half-heartedly packed a few boxes I'm already strongly leaning towards getting the professionals in.

And Safestore storage have a place in Whitechapel that's 3 minutes walk from my alleged new flat.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)

if you're not a student
it's not ok to spend your time hauling boxes up and down.

i helped the ex move his stuff into mine for a month a few weeks ago. it took about 4 trips from kensington to se1 and a LOT of lifting boxes and he promptly sprang for a firm to move it all back!
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Hah.
I emailed him (again) with both your suggestions and got back:

"The explanation is because we don’t have all the relevant information for the landlord.

And no because you haven’t moved in yet.

Thank you for being patient."

I reckon he's getting a bit narked with me.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:17, Reply)

ask him what "relevant info" he is waiting for, what a shit excuse
explain that you are looking at incurring substantial additional costs if this isn't sorted and that is why you are chasing.

if the landlord wants to let the flat, which he will, he won't be pissing around.
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Before he's said an EPC certificate
I don't know whether it's them or the landlord getting that, I'm assuming the landlord.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)

landlord
it's an energy performance certificate. i didn't think you needed that to let the flat, but the agent might be insisting on it, i guess.
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)

According to directGov
"An EPC is required by law when a building is built, sold or put up for rent"
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:30, Reply)

Swipey's advice is the best.
It also depends how much stuff you have to move - maybe the crappy letting agent can at least point you in the direction of cheap/free storage by way of compensation for their fuckwittery?

alt: belm in front of a bunch of kids with whom I work on an outdoor residential trip last week.

alt alt: cheese and real ale chutney buttie.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)

you speak wisely
My advice is always the best!
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:58, Reply)

Always wear your galoshes when it rains. Are you going to invoice him for that gem?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:59, Reply)

£500 plus vat and disbs

( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Belming is acceptable

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)

Not, when you work with spakkers it isn't...

( Davros' Granddad Monty, could you grow up and have a life? Kthxbai., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)

OK, I guess I'm in a minority then.
I wouldn't listen to me in that case.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Did anyone hear anything just now?

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)

I'd be worried if you COULD hear my typing...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:58, Reply)

I is in yr keyboard
listening to ur typin
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:04, Reply)

Have a clean up while y ou're in there.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)

Mmmmmmm, sandwich

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)

You are a one in ten, the one that don't exist.
UB4o methinks.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Red, red wine did go to his head

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)

You fried your steak in Chocolate biscuits?
I had tomato pasta but I am going for an Indian tonight so I don't care!

The last unprofessional thing I did was going on ebay during my lunch break which my now ex box classed as conducting personal business using works equipment which earned me a written warning. What a cunt eh!
( PhillieJoe Ariston and on and on and on and on and on and on, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)

Chocolate steak eh?
*ponders*
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)

I always add dark chocolate to chilli.
Improves it no end.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:21, Reply)

As do I

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)

*Manly culinary handshakes*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:29, Reply)

8 of them?

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:30, Reply)

It has now been edited.
:)
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

\o/
Chocolate in chilli is excellent, as is chilli in chocolate
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Silly billy
pub lunch innit. So not the biscuity Bourbon.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Don't have the passanda.
It'll have flaked nuts on the top. Might upset you.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)

lol

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)

I don't wuv you either anymore
I think we need time apart
( PhillieJoe Ariston and on and on and on and on and on and on, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Much like your balls?

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Alt: I was a professional bell-end on the weekend.

( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:15, Reply)

...and this is different how?

( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)

the word 'professional'
he got paid for it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)

I did suspect after posting that the Alt might be overwhelmed by Monty and Stunned...

( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:19, Reply)

wh b
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Probably
Alt: Last week, unblocking the content filters at work so that a few colleagues could watch goals from the weekend.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:25, Reply)

That is an advantage of working in IT
Proxy server? Fuck off
( sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)

I've had to install these recently.
No Facebook, Youtube...I'm so popular.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Mate, you're fucking moving from Birmingham to London for this job, I think they can keep the fires at bay for another week =)

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)

I NO RITE?!
I've emailed the HR person who did my reference regarding the let to say thanks, that's all gone through but the agent is still waiting on some documentation so technically I don't have anywhere to live.

But then said I'm sure it will be sorted in time and I have a backup plan so it shouldn't affect my start date.

Just to let them know, like. Not to suggest the start date needs moving or anything.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)

I'm confused, unless it's your mummy and daddy why would they give a fuck if you've got somewhere to live or not
They only want you turning up to work on the 30th, preferably at 8.30 so they can show you your worker drone cell. It'd be a bonus for them if you dumped the paedophile look that you've carefully cultured.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I've occascionally helped someone who's come to work for me
find a place to live. If they've been coming from another country. But, in general, I'm with the lion on this.
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Deffo on the peedo look
espesh when he starts complementing people on their kids photos on their desks
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)

I hate to sound like my usual miserable fucking cunt self
but they are employing him. As a functioning adult. They would therefore assume that he is able to make adult decisions and alternative arrangements should he not be able to get the flat in time. A hotel, a B&B, a mate's spare room. etc.

Yes, the start date might get moved back by a sypathetic boss-to-be. But it would have the same effect on LiC's future prospects at the company as shitting in said bosses's desk drawer.

None of this impinges at all on the fact that the letting agent is being a cunt about this, but I'm slightly amazed people actually suggested LiC should try and postpone the start date.
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I agree with this.

(PsychoChomp I want to more creative in a buisness kinda way., Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:16, Reply)

the real truth here is this:
never ask for advice on the internet.

unless you are looking for advice about porn.
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Or advice about how best to be a tinfoil hatted conspiracy twat.
Or how to troll.
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:23, Reply)

or how to give great advice on everything
despite having done nothing
( rachelswipe if you logged out to read this, you're a twat, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:25, Reply)

how do you troll?

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Terrible!

( Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Not surprised, given your garlic-heavy diet.
You French cunt.
( Monty Boyce Dignity is having the stones to dress in lycra, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:30, Reply)

What ees zees terrible rrrrrassism from zees rrrosbif?
Criticising me over poor personal 'ygiene when your women 'ave an odious 'abeet of shaving zeir armpeets to let all the sweat out.
( Kroney Dignity is having the stones to dress in hemp, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:33, Reply)

no fucking idea
but the internet seems full of them.
( the mighty badger is a FANTASTICALLY gay horse, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:29, Reply)

I guess it depends on how formal the job is.

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:40, Reply)

Has anyone pointed out how easy it would be to commute from Birmingham to London until you get sorted?
Just in case they haven't: It's really easy.
( tangledupinblue Your beat kicks back like death, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 15:58, Reply)